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3. It's Not You.. It's Me

3. It's Not You.. It's Me

Emara Stone

Damison Groups of Work.
Vacancies: 8 
Education: Engineering in IT field or MBA in Finance & Management (Preference given to the higher degree)

Perfecto.

Ethan has a degree with a high GPA and A1 grade overall. I can borrow his degree to get a high-paying job. We are twins and some of our features are identical except his toned muscles, as I look quite skinny in front of him.

As for now, I have to focus on making money and being independent. Also, he is on a vacation, he will never come to know that I used his degree or identity. And even if he did, he can forgive his one minute late little sister, right?

But his ID says, Male.

I just wish I had a twin sister. It would be easy to fake her. I would have gone on dates with her boyfriend and both might have never come to know about it.

Hmmm… Thank God I don't have a twin sister. She would have taken my boyfriend and I would have never come to know about it.

I look at Ethan's pictures hanging in our living room. My eyebrows rise a few centimeters as I check out my brother for the first time. Clothes I can steal from Ethan's cupboard, makeup I can do for a fake beard, and shoes I can buy.

But what about my little boobs and my not so little hair?

This is where I go to my teacher.

YouTube.

Okay... So I have to bandage my breast with a cloth to make them look flatter than they are right now. Then wear a wife beater and a shirt on it to make it look completely flat like a road.

Done.

But what about my hip length hair? I can't afford a five hundred dollars wig, those fake hair are expensive. If I had money, I would have never done any of these.

That means only one option is left.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath to gather all the guts inside me. My heart pumps fast for what I am about to do.

I can do this.

It's just hair.

They will grow back.

Focus on the money.

Freedom.

It’s not even a week since I bleached and dyed my hair blue. I was so happy with the color and texture as it made me look like a species from Pandora. An Avatar Princess.

I slowly take the scissors from the drawer. I divide my hair into two sections and bring it in front of my shoulders. I look at my long thick blue hair in the mirror that reaches till my belly button.

I wanted long hair since the fifth grade. I remember when Ethan cut off one of my ponies while I was sleeping, after I broke his video game console. I cried so much as if he chopped off one of my limbs. He is such an ass.

Everyone used to compliment my long hair. I loved the length of my hair that I didn't even trimmed them from the past six months. I never thought I would be doing this.

A silent tear escapes from my eyes as I hold them in my fist for the last time.

I love you.

But it's not you.

It's me.

It's my fight.

I’m sorry you are in the middle of this.

You have always been good, except in monsoon and sometimes in winter.

I am sorry.

Forgive me.

It feels like I am breaking up with them. My long thick hair, you will be missed.

I take one section and begin to cut them just below my ear. Though my hand is miserably shaking, I keep cutting them. The chopping sound adds extra momentum to my tears and I feel them rolling down my cheeks to the chin.

I watch my hair freely fall from the shoulders to my feet, like feathers. Is time running slow?

The lump in my throat is getting heavy, making it hard to gulp my saliva. I feel the wetness on my cheeks. I look up in the mirror and see the uneven cutting of my hair. Some of them get stuck on my wet cheeks, which made me cry harder.

All these years I took care of them like my baby, now I am cutting my babies. I cut the remaining hair off, then do the same torture on the other side.

Forgive me.

I collect my hair from the floor and put them in a plastic bag as I wipe the salty tears off my face.

Even if they died, they will still be useful to me.

I'll sell them to buy shoes.

It's too late to turn back now. I am ready to become Ethan.

I am ready to be nerdy!

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