Four

Under hypnosis, she felt as if someone was pulling a knife into her heart. And at some point, she felt as if it was a fire being burned into her heart. She had to wake up, because the pain felt so surreal that tears started spilling out of her eyes before she even opened them widely. She began taking in the environment she was in, and it was a hospital. From the paintings, to the bed she saw herself on, to the IV fluid that was attached to her body.

Like the tides of an ocean flow to the shore in rush, that was how all that destroyed her life in not less than an hour came back to her, and she didn't know when she screamed. She felt a scorching pain under her, and she knew she wasn't dreaming of being raped. It was real, her, Aisha Umar Faruk, was gang raped.

The words Jaafar had said! The words her rapist had said. Alphabet by alphabet, letter by letter, words by words, sentence by sentence, that was how they all came back to her, crystal clear. No word dared to be omitted out of this painful memory.

And the image she saw with her own eyes, every colour, dimness, smiles, eyes, contour, curves, everything she saw her Mommy doing was back to her as though she was playing a movie. And Aisha felt as her shoulders shook with her cries.

In rushed a nurse and she walked towards her, “I'm so sorry for what happened. I need you to please give us a number of one of your family. An old man brought you here and said he found you by the street, alone.”

Yes, she said it right. All her life she had lived alone. Because the woman she thought was everything she had was nothing but a liar. A professor when it came to pretense. She had lived alone, with a total stranger she thought she knew in and out. But she was wrong. Mommy was never the person she knew, but rather, the person she stayed with as a house mate. Not even a house mate, because Mommy only slept in the house. She wasn't even a full time housemate.

She could only cry, crying bitter as she shook her head. The nurse repeated her question, “Young Lady, can you please give us your name and also a number of one of your family? I know what happened to you is surely heartbreaking, but please you need to speak.”

It was now that she recalled those guys left with her car and also her hand bag that was in the car. She knew if they had left her bag with her, Mommy would've left more than a hundred missed calls now. It was night already, close to midnight. And she feared what would happen to her daughter while she was out there selling off other people's daughters and sisters. And oh, her own body as well.

What happened to her is called karma. And today, she knew of karma as a bitch and it's also real. The realist thing on earth. No matter how Mommy was protective of her, they still had their way. And they avenged on her. What she didn't know had happened. She didn't even know who her mother was, yet her wrongdoings fell on her.

The nurse had been asking her the same question but all Aisha could do was stare at her while she made a fountain of her cheeks. The nurse finally gave in and went out to call the doctor that was on call. He was the one that looked after Aisha and stitched the damage those rapist did to her. If only he could stitch up the breaks in her heart, Aisha thought. It took them only some minutes before they walked in together, and the moment Aisha saw him she freaked and fell down from the bed.

The nurse tried to help her up but he asked her to leave. He had realized Aisha the moment he went into the theater room to stitch her up. She was the girl they almost hit with a car with Jaafar. He was curious, what happened to her? He prayed it wasn't Jaafar that caused this or he had a hand. Because he knew how unforgiving Jaafar could be. And it was quite a fright.

Aisha sat upright on the floor and kept looking at him, eyes wide open with tears streaming down as well. “I need you to keep calm please, I'm not here to harm you. I just need some answers from you and I'll leave you to rest.”

She shook her head while crying so hard, “Please you should leave. I don't want anything that has to do with you. I beg you in the name of Allah, please you should leave. He's the reason I have my life destroyed now, I know he sent you here so you could kill me right?”

Nasir smiled and shook his head, “I know you're referring to Jaafar, but trust me if I tell you it has been more than two months since I last saw him. Now, I need some answers from you.”

Aisha kept staring at him for some minutes, intently that Nasir felt as if she could see through his skin. He wanted to know what happened, she was just a small girl, but how could this happen to her? “Swear to Allah that you're not together with him and you're not going to hurt me.” She sounded so innocent and so hurt and whatever Nasir found heartbreaking.

He smiled and sat opposite her on the floor, he liked how innocent she looked. Despite how he could see pain clearly written on her face, he liked the look on her face. It was radiant and it spoke everything sort of beauty. “I swear to Allah, the lord of you and I, I'm not after you to hurt you and I will never do that.”

“I believe you then.” She spoke silently and then she went silent, waiting for his questions to come. Despite the roar of pain in her heart, she still found an empty space in her heart and mind to listen to him.

Nasir cleared his voice, “I want to know your name. What's your name and how old are you?”

She cleared the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She felt she couldn't trust her name again. Is her name even real? Or Mommy faked it too? Thinking about Mommy made a huge churn of bitterness choked her throat.

“My name is Aisha Umar Faruk. I'm 17 years old.” She found herself answering, even though she wasn't sure of all she said anymore. Her name, did she even have a father? Who was her father? Was she born 17 years ago? Or Mommy faked it too?

She didn't know she was crying until Nasir handed her his handkerchief, “Here, clear your tears. I'm so sorry if my questions unveil your wounds.” She collected the handkerchief and cleared away her tears, but more tears were gushing out in a rush.

“Do you know what those guys did to you is called?” He knew he needed not to ask, but he had to. Because if she didn't, he had to tell her what it was and everything, as the doctor that looked after her.

She closed her eyes and an ocean of tears rolled down her cheeks. She swear she could feel as the hands of pain squeezed her heart, a painful squeeze. She nodded her head vehemently, “Yes, I know. They raped me.”

“How many of them raped you, Aisha?” He was afraid that her answer would prove his instincts right, but he knew he had to ask her so he could fill her medical record.

“They were five. The whole five of them!” And she broke into tears. She wished she could wind back the hands of time. She wouldn't have gone to school today. She wouldn't have waited for the time of the exams despite knowing she won't be let in. She wouldn't have stayed after she was chased out of that hall. She wouldn't have waited for Jaafar for all those hours only for him to shatter her world which led to her life being destroyed for eternity.

Nasir stood up and called the nurse, she came in and he asked her to help Aisha back on the bed and she should tell her how to take care of herself so the stitches will heal in a mean time. After she was back on the bed, Nasir looked at her and felt his heart breaking silently at the way she was crying bitterly. He wished he could take away her pain. Young and innocent girls like her didn't deserve what she got.

“I just need a number of your family, Aisha. So they'll know where you are and they don't have to be looking for you every where,” he said.

Aisha flashed back all she heard about Mommy today, and all that happened to her as a revenge on Mommy today, and the new Mommy she saw; all in a day. She felt that she didn't want to face her again, she wasn't ready. And for a few years to come, Aisha didn't know she would ever be ready. “Last two months, My Mother and father died in a car accident, I'm the only child they had. My uncles did this to me because I didn't give them the keys to where my father's documents are. They threw me at the road side where the man you said brought me here picked me.” She had seen enough movies and read enough books to come up with a perfect convincing lie. She will never disclose her identity to everyone again. She'd rather live her life as an orphan than to live hearing a word like prostitute being thrown at the face of her mother. She winced at the word. And shuddered at those images in her brain.

“I'm so sorry for your lost, Aisha. Sleep please, we will discuss tomorrow insha Allah.” And Nasir walked out of the room with a heavy heart.

He walked back to his office and found four missed calls from his mother, two from his brother and only one from his father. He knew it was Mama that took Baba's phone and called him. So he called her first, and she picked at the first ring. “Nasir where have you gone to? I've been calling you but you weren't picking. I asked Abba to call you but still. I took Baba's phone and called you, the same story.”

Nasir laughed and sat on his chair, “Mama you need to calm down please. I told you I'm on call today, I won't even be back home until tomorrow morning insha Allah. You need not to worry, your very own last born is safe and sound.”

“Do you have a patient to take care of? Because you hardly sleep at the hospital unless that happens. What is it this time?” Mama had always been his favorite person on earth. She was the only one he could spend hours talking to without feeling restricted. He felt free. She was the love of his life and his confidante.

Nasir heaved a sigh and rubbed the bridge between his eyes. “Mama, this is a complete different story. A girl was brought to us, she was gang raped, Mama. Five men raped, a 17 year old girl. She couldn't stop crying and she looked so innocent, Mama.” Mama knew of his intense love for his patients and how he got easily worried because of them.

“Innalillahi, subhanallah! Five what? She needs stitches, Nasir!” She freaked out, and he could imagine the Doctor in her walking around her room. She studied MBBS back in the days, but due to the strictness of Baba, she had to leave her dream job and become a full time housewife.

“I know, Mama. I did everything needed for her. And could you imagine? Her uncles did that to her, only because her parents died and they want to have all they left behind. What a world we live, Mama. How can your brothers do this to your own daughter? I had to leave the room because of how she was crying, Mama. I was so heartbroken.”

He heard her sniffling, eventhough she wasn't officially working, Mama had dealt with rape cases she dared not to think about, lest she wanted to cry herself to sleep. Sometimes it was an infant, sometimes a toddler, and the list goes on.

“I have to come and see her, tomorrow. Abba will be going back to Taraba tomorrow morning, I'll ask Baba. I pray he lets me come. What's her name?” Mama asked. They lived in Tafawa Balewa. A local government in Bauchi state that had already became an area in Bauchi. Eventhough it was on the outskirts of Bauchi.

“Her name is Aisha. I pray he lets you come, you need to see her, Mama.”

“I know he will, he has even got tired of not letting me visit your patients. He knows how persistent I am. I'm going to bed now, Nasir. Make sure you eat and pray before you sleep.”

“Insha Allah, Mama. You should take care of yourself please. I love you.” Nasir said and she could only smiled before she ended the call. That was how Nasir spent his night, with every move on the bed, his thoughts wandered back to Aisha he would wonder wether she had slept.

After he prayed his Subh Salah he went into the the ward she was kept and found her seated on her bed, she was staring intensely at the sky that was beginning to unveil its beautiful colours, but there were tears rolling down nonstop on her cheeks.

He cleared his throat and she turned her face at him. Aisha cleared her eyes before she greeted him. “Good morning, Dr.”

“Good Morning, Aisha. I hope you slept well and have prayed already?” He walked towards her and sat on the chair facing her directly. Even though her eyes had swell up and her tears weren't dried yet, she looked fresh.

She cleared her tears again and nodded. “Yes, I prayed.” It seemed to him that she still didn't trust him, considering how she was so calculative of her words.

She got her attention fixed back on the sky. If you weren't close enough to her, you would mistaken the trembling her lips were making to be a full bright smile, and how her eyes were fixed on the sky to be like she was admiring its beauty. But it was none, she was only looking at the sky so she could avoid the pitiful looks people sent her way. It broke her even more than what was tearing this red flesh that was faintly beating in her heart.

“Aisha,”He called, and she slowly turned and looked at him. “I have a favour to ask you.” She nodded her head at him and Nasir proceeded. “I always tell my mother about the patients that touched my heart. When she has the time, she visits them before they get discharged. I told her about you yesterday, and she wants to see you. She's coming over this morning. I hope you won't mind?”

“Yes, I won't.” Were the only words that managed to roll out of her lips. The word mother brought back a huge kind of pain to her heart. She knew Mommy wasn't able to sleep yesterday. But she wasn't ready for whatever it is that had Mommy in it.

“But please, Aisha. My mother cries easily, please you shouldn't cry when she's here because instead of her to console you, she'll just cry with you. Please.” He had to warn her, because whenever Mama came to this hospital, she always left with a heavy heart and eyes that cried to their satisfaction.

“I promise I won't.” She said, and he stood up. “Thank you, Aisha.”

He was halfway to the door when she called him, “Dr,” She said and Nasir turned to look at her. “You haven't told me your name.”

“My name is Nasir Muhammad Tijjani.” And he was out of the room in the blink of an eye. She said the words again, 'Nasir Muhammad Tijjani'.

The nurse Nasir assigned to Aisha had already came in and helped her had her bathe, she gave her new clothes to wear, and when Aisha asked about the clothes she said it was Dr. Nasir that gave it to her. Around 8:23am, the door knob turned, and in came Nasir holding a basket of food, which had became Mama's tradition whenever she was visiting one of Nasir's patients she had to come with food.

She was walking silently behind him, and Nasir motioned for the chair beside Aisha's bed for her. Aisha ducked her head down and greeted her, “Good morning, Mama.” As she heard him called her.

“Good morning, Aisha. How are you feeling? Nasir had already told you about me right?” All Aisha could do was nod her head, as they all looked at Nasir that was standing beside the bed, holding the food basket.

“Nasir get us some carpet or mat please, we need to have our breakfast. Abba kept bugging me that I had to come out without eating anything.” Nasir answered and walked out of the room, after he flashed Aisha a look that meant 'Our promise' and she faintly nodded her head.

They were all silent until Nasir was back and he spread the mat for them. Mama helped Aisha down and she sat down on the carpet too. She served Nasir on a different plate and served Aisha before she served herself.

They were halfway through their meal but Aisha had only ate two spoons. Mama looked at her and collected the spoon from her hand, “Aisha, I'm so sorry for your lost. But I need you to take me as your mother. Please don't hide anything from me, what's eating you up? Does it pain down there? Feel free, I'm a doctor too.”

“My mother, I miss her...” Aisha choked on her tears, even though she had made up her mind about Mommy, but seeing how Dr. Nasir interacted with his mother had made her missed Mommy. Their early morning breakfast. If not because of what happened today, they would've been making breakfast together now, while laughing and having a time of themselves.

Mama hugged her and kept patting her back, she broke their hug and looked at Aisha. “From today onwards, you should regard me as your mother. Here, I'll feed you myself.” And reluctantly, Aisha opened her mouth while Mama slid a spoonful of chips into her mouth.