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Chapter Three

What do you do when your hearts been broken before it was ever whole? You die inside. Oh. Or you fill your now spiteful ashen heart with all the cynicism you can muster.

Comedy is the key to hiding any worries.

That's right, if you see a friend chuckling to himself go up to him and ask him if his mom died. I promise you he will burst into tears a weep on your shoulder. Really. Sven logic is infallible. It's never let me down so far.

That's why when I walked through the door to my chaos ridden home, I wore a smile, yes a smile, then broke down at the first face I saw and ran back out to once again weep my heart out.

I pulled myself back off the dirty ground and once again set foot in that dratted place I call home.

"Sven! HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW FυCKING LATE IT IS?!" My mother shrieked, honestly, it's like she doesn't want my ears to ever hear again.

"Jesus woman, I'm here okay!" I muttered under my breath, yep, didn't have enough guts to say it outright.

"EXCUSE ME?!" She shouted, grabbing me by my hair and throwing me back to the floor. "YOU DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME MISTER!"

I sighed, secretly swallowing down my nervousness and fear. That's right, my remaining dignity (and there was some) would not allow me to cower beneath my mother, even when I knew the consequences of acting tough.

She grabbed my hair again and I began to regret not having shaved myself bald this morning.

I winced. There was a burning pain as I felt some of my hair tug loose.

Look at the floor, pretend it doesn't hurt, and do what she says. I told myself

"You have a job to do! Your future alpha is getting his mate tomorrow and you need to help the girls cook and clean! I won't tolerate you slacking!" She screamed at me, shoving me in the direction of the kitchen by my hair. "Lazy boy." She spat.

"What are the boys doing?" I asked her as I looked back from the crowded kitchen of worn out looking girls.

"The boys are out keeping Castus busy and entertained while we prepare his birthday party."

So... Nothing.

She made the girls stay at home, celibate, doing all the work and let the boys stay out late fυcking anything that had a vagina and doing whatever the hell they wanted.

You know what was sad about all of this? I mean one of the sad things about all of this...

If I hadn't automatically been grouped together with the girls for being gay and had just as much freedom as the boys did, I probably would have ignored the injustice too. Maybe I would have supported it. My morals are not strong, if it suits me... Boy I'd go full on evil superhero on your ass if it benefited me.

She pushed me roughly into the kitchen and slammed the door. I heard the short metal click and shudder as she locked the door shut.

I sighed and my shoulders drooped as I took my place beside Freida and Beth who where both busy getting their chores out of the way early.

They turned to me with a pitiful watchful eye.

Freida shook her head sadly, wiping the bags in her eyes as she pulled me gently by the hand to the corner of the room beside the cabinet and opened the medicine drawer.

She pulled out some cotton balls from a plastic bag and reached over to my hair as she dabbed away at the damp blood sticking it together.

I sighed when I saw the blood and I saw her mimic my actions.

"She needs to stop doing that." She sighed.

I nodded. I hated it when my mom tugged on my hair like that. Yes the cuts will have healed within the next hour but just because there isn't a scar doesn't mean it never happened and doesn't mean it never hurt.

"She's just stressed." I head Beth mumble as she wrapped small mini sausages in neat little blankets of doe.

Typical Beth, she tried so hard to justify everyone else's wrong doings, even to others. It was the reason she was so hated it the group and her desolation only strengthened her resolve that everyone is nice and angelic and they all must have a specific reason for their wrong doings. It pissed me off too but being in her position I could relate too her too much to simply turn and abandon her for it.

How could I abandon someone for doing something I could imagine doing myself?

I sighed again. "I'm sure she is."

I stood beside her and joined the girl whose name I never learned, in neatly cutting and folding the doe and she moved a place beside me to fill a space where a girl was supposed to be rolling the doe flat and flouring it up.

I looked over at Beth. Her image made me sad. She was so beautiful, long blond Disney princess hair and light blue eyes whose singularity and shine where kept hidden under the shadow of her wavy long fringe. But even under the fringes shadow, no, especially under the fringes shadow, I could see the dark puffy bags around her eyes.

She must have been standing here at her job for ages now.

I hate that.

They made the women work all day, then when the men came home from doing literally jack shit. They get to call the women lazy and order them around, saying they got all the easy jobs while they where out doing the real work.

That shit just makes me wanna go.

Bitch.

Your brain is apparently so fυcked up I think I need to clean it cause apparently no one round here is willing to do it in stead. I hope this toilet cleaner I'm pouring down your throat gets to your brain and washes it the fυck out cause if it doesn't I'll have no choice but to put your head in a giant nutcracker just to find out if the spot of your brain has been filled by an almond.

But of course I don't.

Cause they won't hit the women but they will the men. They'll insult the women like fυck but they won't touch them. And generally the men don't get in trouble cause they basically just go do whatever the fυck they want. But since I was a man... I got the slave jobs, and the slave beatings. Fυck.

I mean its not like I could call the child support or anything, my bruises only last a matter of minutes, or hours if I'm lucky.

I turned to Frieda who was now working opposite to me slicing cucumber so fast her had was a blur.

"Freida!" I whispered.

She looked up.

She didn't talk much.

"Castus had sєx."

She gasped. "Are you sure?! That's a hefty accusation to make!" She exclaimed.

"I know for sure, don't ask me how."

"H- oh" Her brows furrowed slightly in confusion however she ignored it and moved on. "Do you know when?"

I glared at the doe I as cutting in my hand and resisted the furious urge to crush it and mangle it and burn it in the oven.

"Just now."

She gave me a worried glance.

"Do you wanna talk about it later?"

She was already assuming things, I knew it, well then again there was pretty much no other explanation as to how I would have known he was having sєx unless I was somehow bonded to him.

Honestly it surprised me how calm she was. I expected her to freak out and burn the kitchen down or something. But there she was with all her serenity.

I sighed again.

"Would you stop that?" Bella hissed at me.

I apologized briefly.

It was a rule among us that we would not moan and groan to each other. Because we knew that if we did we would only wallow further in our misery.

Honestly. It's not really bad all the time. I'm just pointing out all the things I hate about this place because right now, I hate it, and I want to leave, because it will be the death of me, literally and figuratively.

Sure there where loud parties every month or so, where they allowed us to drink diluted alcohol and take the two or three days off of school. And if you did something very well or didn't mess up the reward and complements could be so confidence boosting.

But it didn't matter.

Because in the end, all in all, I wanted out.

I didn't want to be in this place any more.

I didn't want to be ordered about any more.

I stared at the clock.

It ticked slowly, mocking me.

The after effects of Castus's betrayal where still thundering in my body. Like an incessant ache throughout my bones.

I didn't care about the pain. I just wanted it gone because it was a reminder, that once he found out, I was going to be rejected. Castus would never find a place in his small little shrivelled up heart, for someone like me.

I felt the tears gather up between the folds of my thick eyelashes.

What where my options? What could I do?

I didn't want to be rejected. Anything but being rejected.

Death.

Seemed such a pleasant option round about now.

He wouldn't know what hit him. He'd be weak for days mourning the death of the kid he taunted and never properly understanding why. And I wouldn't have to go through the fear and torture of rejection.

But I knew I could never carry it out.

I'm weak like that.

Freida looked up at me with a sad look and pushed her work over beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. With one arm she hugged me, and god knows I needed it. I felt like crying.

"Girls will you fill for us for the last thirty minutes?" She asked.

I was surprised when they nodded yes and filled our places.

I was sure if I had asked they never would have allowed.

She pulled me out the other door of the kitchen and in the dining room. A lavish hall looking room. With a long rectangular dark oak table and two glistening chandeliers hanging dangerously low above them.

We sat down at the odd blue seats at the end of the table.

"I know you probably don't want to tell me what's happened yet, but what's happened? What's left you so upset? Your mood is so dark it's making everyone nervous. What has happened Sven?"

"You know what's happened."

"Is it about Castus?"

I nodded.

"Is he your mate?"

I held my breath. I didn't even want to admit it. I felt like admitting it would somehow aid to my demise.

"Yes." I breathed out.

He glared at the table. Then she took my hand, stroking it softly.

"I'm sorry."

I stared at her shoes, and started crying.

Hot tears spilled over my cheeks. My skin burned. My eyes felt puffy. And my heart felt saw.

"Why did he have to fυcking cheat the fυcking day before he found his mate?!" I whisper screamed in my now raspy voice, so filled with the thick apprehension of my ever streaming tears. "What fυcking goes through his head when he decides that the day before he finds his mate he's going to fυcking sleep with that little shit!"

She stroked the back of my neck as I ranted.

"And I fυcking saw it! I saw her hanging off his dick!"

She gasped.

"You where there?!"

"No, a vision, when I collapsed. There was a vision of what he was doing, it was like I was there, but it was him."

I sobbed silently.

And looked up at her with my probably red dark as dusk eyes.

And as I stared I knew one thing. She understood that I needed a plan, and she would help me carry it out.

Now how to I punish the guy and keep myself from harm at the same time?

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