3. SILAS: HAVE I FOUND MY MATE?

Silas

I wished I had paid more attention in class now more than ever.

What were the signs of finding your mate? My hold on the glass tightened. It wouldn’t matter if I had paid attention or not anyway. I wasn’t like them. I wouldn’t be able to tell if I found my mate or not. What were the chances of me even having a mate like them? All I had inherited from them was their sense of smell, strength and speed. I couldn’t shift and that was why they picked on me so much.

Raising the glass, I took another sip of the golden liquid. It burned all the way down my throat and into my empty stomach. I should probably eat something but I wasn’t in the mood for food.

My eyes darted around the small hotel room. It was to expect from a small town like this. They only had one motel with just twenty rooms. Not to mention the fact that it could have done a good cleaning—a deeper cleaning. Throwing the last of the drink back, I leaned over to grab the bottle from the small table next to the bed.

As I was pouring more Whiskey into my glass, my phone started ringing. One glance down at the screen made me purse my lips. My mom’s name flashed on the screen for a few more seconds before the phone stopped ringing. I blew out a breath and leaned back in the chair. It’s been months since we last spoke.

“You’ll never have a mate! You weren’t destined to have one and even if you find one, I hope she runs from your no-good sorry ass. You’re a piece of shit Silas and you’ll always stay that way!”

Discarding the glass, I pressed my lips to the bottle and tilted it up. Ethan’s words flashed through my mind. It was the words he had spit at me before storming off. I couldn’t ever remember what we were fighting about in the first place.

It was those words that made me hate him. I expected the taunts and harsh words from the others but not from him. He was my brother. He was supposed to be there by my side, but instead he turned into one of them.

Lowering the bottle, I swiped the back of my hand across my mouth and dropped my head back. My eyes darted over the stained ceiling for a few seconds before fluttering closed. Lara’s image instantly flashed through my mind.

Her hazel eyes, pale skin with cupid-bow lips and small button nose... Lara looked like a pixie. I was curious to see what she would look like with her hair hanging loose. Her hair colour wasn’t natural; it couldn’t be—not with her eye colour and skin tone. I already knew what she felt like in my arms. I remembered the smell of her.

I swiped my tongue along my top gums as the tingling intensified. It has never happened before. My eyes snapped open I jumped up and hurried into the bathroom. After flicking on the light, I leaned over the basin and parted my lips to get a better look at my tingling gums. It still looked the same. No teeth lengthening—nothing.

“Stupid!” I muttered to myself.

I had their blood but I was never going to shift. I was never going to know what it felt like to run free around the forest with wind blowing through my coat. I was never going to be able to chase a squirrel or rabbit or any other wild animal. I was never going to know what it felt like to go on pack runs. I was never going to do anything they were doing. But it never fucking bothered me.

Until now. Until tonight when I met a woman called Lara.

She would never be interested in a freak like me. I was a freak—that’s what they called me and why I started the fights. Not only was I born human, but I also had mismatched eyes. I hated my eyes. Pain flashed through me as I remembered the look of astonishment on her face when our eyes locked.

Shaking away the depressing thoughts, I hurried out of the bathroom and over to the bottle. I drank and drank until the bottle was empty and then I reached for another. Alcohol manipulated my memory. It made me forget all the bad things that had ever happened in my life. It made me remember the good days before everyone found out that I would never be able to shift. We were happy, as a family.

Why did things change? Why couldn’t we stay happy like we were?

The sound of my phone ringing snapped me back into reality. I blindly reached for it and answered the call.

“Don’t hang up.”

My heartbeat increased when my mother’s soft voice drifted through the phone. I sucked in a deep breath and slowly blew it out. I had no idea how much I missed her until now. She was not only my mother, but my best friend throughout the tough times when I was picked on for not being able to shift.

“Silas, are you still there?”

I swallowed. “Y-yes.”

“Where are you?” she questioned. “I tried calling you at home but your housekeeper informed me that you were away on business. You weren’t answering your phone earlier either that’s why I dried from another number.”

Hurt and disappointment were clear emotions I could hear in her voice. I was the cause for that pain and that was a big part of why I left. I couldn’t stand to see the disappointment in her eyes whenever she looked at me anymore.

“I’ve been around,” I answered instead of giving her a straight answer. “Did something happen?”

I heard her sigh loudly. A few minutes of silence passed. “A lot. That’s why I’ve been trying to reach you.”

“Mom—”

“I want you to come home,” she interrupted. “I want you to be here for your brothers’ Mating Ceremony.”

The air left my lungs in a rush. His Mating Ceremony. Ethan found his mate. I shouldn’t be surprised, but it hurt my feelings. I remembered the time when we were younger, when we were best friends and brothers; we used to joke about it. We dreamed about sharing our mate like our parents. But that dream fell to pieces as we started fighting. Ethan’s training started and we just started to drift apart. He was more worried about what the pack members would think about him, than he was worried about me. We drifted apart and each year we just grew more apart.

I had hoped. . .Shaking my head, I squeezed my eyes closed and tried to force the pain down. It shouldn’t fucking matter, but somehow it did. It just made me hate him even more. He was going to be able to start a family. He was going to get everything he has ever wanted while I was still alone. No mate, no family, nothing.

“Silas, are you there?”

I sucked in a sharp breath. “Congratulations,” I forced past my lips.

“Honey—”

“You must be so proud of him, mother. Give him my congratulations.”

“You can give it to him yourself when—”

“I won’t be attending,” I interrupted her.

“You need—”

“I don’t need anything!” I yelled, gripping the phone tighter. “You didn’t even try to stop me when I was leaving. The only time you ever call is to inform me of something my brother did or he is about to do. You never call to ask how I’m doing.”

I heard her sniff. “That’s not true,” she croaked. “You—”

“I have to go mother.”

I hung up before she could utter another word. Staring down at my phone for a few more seconds, I pulled my arm back and threw it against the wall. The moment it hit the wall, it splintered into a million pieces and fell to the ground.

They’ve never loved me like they loved him. I wasn’t important in the past and I also knew I would never be in the future, after my brother’s glamorous ceremony. All the hopes I had of making my parents proud of me, died down. Ethan had found his mate, now he could be the perfect Alpha.