Chapter 3 - Back to Hell

Lily

I never thought I would get this far. Get as far as coming back to the pack I tried to run away from in the first place. Part of me was thinking about jumping out the car and just running away again.

I couldn't do it.

I don't want to face my family again. Or him. The one who rejected me without giving me a chance. It hurts but I know there is no turning back now. I'm already outside the pack house with these werewolves at my side who brought me back.

I try my best to keep my expression blank as we make our way inside the pack house. His scent is strong. So strong my wolf is crying inside and tears threaten to spill from my eyes. I blink them away as I look at the floor and stand at the back, trying to not be seen.

"Welcome to my land Alpha Parker. I'm Alpha Green." Alpha Green stands in front of the most elite families of the pack. My old classmates - my bullies - with them as if they aren't rotten and tainted in black.

"Yes, we talked on the phone."

My heart keeps on pounding, pounding so hard a few pack members in front of me turn back to glance. I keep my eyes on the floor, partly afraid they will see the history behind my gaze.

"Are you okay?"

I jump and place a hand on my heart, staring at Jeremy in disbelief. For a moment, he looks regretful but a grin appears on his face.

"What?" His grin seems to get bigger. In other circumstances, I'd find grins somewhat creepy but Jeremy's grin is too cheerful and just... cute.

"I'm fine," I clear my throat and decide on glaring in case he caught me staring at his lips for too long. He chuckles and leans down until his breath hits my ear, "Then why are you shaking?" He leans back and I follow his gaze to my clasped hands. Even though my hands are grasped tightly together, they are shaking and sweating. Thought after thought crosses my mind but there is not one that I want to mention where others can hear.

"I'm cold."

"It's summer."

"My body can't tell."

He narrows his eyes. I narrow them back. He quirks an eyebrow, I quirk mine. A soft expression crosses his face but I find myself unable to copy it as my mate's smell becomes more prominent in the pack house. A door opens and it fills my nostrils, telling me he is in the same room as me.

Jeremy clears his throat as he scratches the back of his head, "Would you... like my jacket?"

Thinking I misheard I ask, "What?" My mind should probably be focused on how nervous and shy he looks but instead it focuses on why he would have a jacket in the summer, one of the hottest of days for that matter.

"You said you're cold. There are some in the car, I can... bring it for you?"

It's beating. It's a slow beat but my heart seems to be growing warmer. "No, I'm fine." Eyes gaze at my back and I feel awkward and ashamed. Why is this mate thing so wrong? Why must I feel ashamed for something as little as this? I'm just talking to a guy, a guy who isn't my mate but it's not my fault. Why should I suffer for the mistake of another?

"Look at these two lovebirds. Didn't think you would work this fast my brother." Megan whispers mischievously as she stands in front of us with her back to the exchanges of the Alpha's. Is she really saying that? I was not aware it looked like that. I feel a little flutter in my shame and hurt-filled heart.

"Why are you whispering?" Victor asks us in a whisper. I forgot he existed. He was so quiet in the car and I was so nervous, his existence escaped my mind. Looking closely at his face, there seems to be saliva at the corner of his mouth. He must have fallen asleep during the ride and drooled.

"I'm wondering the same thing. Did you forget we're werewolves and can hear miles away?" Jesse speaks in an even tone but I can tell he thinks we are the dumbest people in the world. It's not that I forgot but it's the fact that it makes me feel like I have more privacy then I actually do. When one is a werewolf, everyone can hear what others are saying if they focus on that person or group therefore preventing people from having privacy when in public.

Jeremy laughs, its awkward for him, I can tell. I open my mouth to deny that there is any type of attraction to him as I have found my 'mate' but my heartbeat gets faster. My hands start to shake and my eyes go wide. The hairs on my body stand and my legs feel week. The true effect a mate gives to their mate.

"Lily."

No, why is he saying my name? It sounds so good too.

"Lily?"

There is doubt in his voice as if he doesn't believe it is me. Can't he tell? I was told mates are the only ones who can smell your natural scent. Even in a place with a million people he would be able to notice me from my scent.

"It's you." He's in front of me. Looking like a meal with whipped cream and strawberries. My wolf howls.

I feel the presence of the others beside me. Megan places a hand on my shoulder and I jump in surprise. It feels kind of nice, I guess. On the other hand, I don't know her that well so I feel just a little uncomfortable.

"Chase?" Debra appears behind him and gasps when she sees me. Her eyes scan the people beside me and I can tell she's annoyed.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice is curt and rude, "Shouldn't you be -"

"You're here," Chase's eyes light up, "I thought you left." He looks relieved. My eye sight must be damned because a few seconds ago this fool rejected me. I'm so over him.

"I was," he clears his throat, "I was worried about you." Or not. Damn these strong mate feelings. My wolf, on the other hand, is jumping with joy and pushing me to hug him but I know better than to trust a jerk.

"I didn't." I hiss the words out my mouth and feel a sharp ache in my chest. It hurt to physically say it. His face falls as if he was expecting me to jump into his arms, to pretend he didn't hurt me and embarrass me.

"Oh, are you her brother? Friend? Boyfriend? Actually it doesn't matter. We found her-" Megan stops talking and yells a loud 'ow'. That makes everyone, including the alpha's turn their attention to us. Great, amazing, this is happening all in one week. Woo-hoo.

"Why did you pinch me? I wasn't-" Jesse shushes her.

"I know damn well you didn't just-"

"Shh!"

"He did!" Megan yells to no one in particular.

"Oh I have another matter to discuss." Alpha Parker walks towards us, and like the red sea, the people part for him. He grabs my arm, "I found her in my territory." Whispers. Ahh back home, what joy.

"You did?" Alpha Green looks confused, "I don't recall ever seeing her here." Yeah, you and everyone else.

Alpha Parker's eyes narrow in suspicion, "Oh? She said she was part of this pack. That's why I brought her back. I would have put her in the dungeon had I not trusted her word." His eyes land on mine, fire behind them.

"She is," Chase's words are small, uncertain. His eyes connect with mine and they turn hard, "She's my m-my friend." Ouch. My wolf whimpers. Debra places a hand on his arm and I feel a growl bubble up my throat. Everyone's eyes land on me.

I widen my eyes and place my hands up in the air, "I didn't mean to." I shake my head, wanting everyone to know I didn't care but I knew the hurt look in my eyes wouldn't have been missed by anyone.

"She's also Debra'a sister, Lily." Damn, he better stop saying my name like that. He puts an emphasis on my name and the others whisper, already whispering things like 'she's back' and 'I thought she left'.

Alpha Green looks embarrassed but he straightens his posture, "Let's discuss this in my office. Shall we?"

Alpha Parker agrees, "But this young man and Lily should come along." He raises an eyebrow in my direction, challenging me to disagree. 'No', I say in my head. It's like he knows it would bother me.

"Can we come? We want to watch Lily." Jesse exchanges a look with Alpha Parker and a red line passes just as quick as it appeared. Alpha Parker nods.

"Okay, follow me." Everyone bows as the two Alpha's walk up the stairs.

I stand my ground, just watching as they climb the stairs and make small chat.

"Lily?" Jeremy taps my shoulder. Why is he worried about me? It's so strange yet I feel good when his eyes connect with mine and his lips turn into a frown, a concerned frown.

"I don't want to."

Once the words leave my mouth, Jeremy leans back. He looks from Chase to me, me to Chase, and then at the stairs.

"I'll take you," He smiles and holds out his hand. I look at it.

My wolf goes crazy. Telling me to ignore it and walk to Chase. To forget the past and focus of what could become of the future if I just walk to Chase and forgive him.

"A girl would usually grab his hand, you know?" Megan laughs. Jeremy nudges her in the ribs, his hand still waiting for mine. I quickly exchange a look with Chase, take in his annoyed facial expression, and lift my hand. I grab his hand and place it back to his side.

"I can do it myself," I take a deep breath, "I'm a big girl." I walk forward.

I wanted to grab it but I know he'll be gone soon. Once he leaves, who will be there for me? No one. If I start to depend on someone now, I know I'll be disappointed.

So I walk up the steps and into the room where my shame will be unraveled in front of these strangers. And in front of my mate.