Chapter Two: Two Sides
Xander Lykos
I could not help but look over to Sapphire’s sleeping form, she had turned over in her sleep so I could now see her face clearly. It was amazing how she looked like a different person in her sleep. Her face was free from any stress which made her look so young... so vulnerable. From what I learned from Chloe, Sapphire was actually really young, despite her long list of titles and achievements, she barely passed her twenty-third birthday. Most wolves her age would be out partying and having a great time with their friends, but she sacrificed all of that to rise to the position she held totday. She grew up too fast. Even I, as an Alpha, spent my childhood romping around with Jared and Brendon, yes, we trained for the positions we would assume in the future, but we still found time to fool around and well, be kids.
She shifted in her sleep causing a lock of her hair to fall on her face and I had to restrain the itch in my hand to brush it away because I knew that if I made a move to just touch her out of the blue, it would startle her and ruin all the progress that we have slowly built. It pained me to think that the only time I could see her when she was free from worry and stress was when she was asleep. It was almost a physical ache that I could not touch her, we werewolves were pack animals after all, and just like them we thrive on skin-ship and physical affection. For example, you could find a group of teenagers in the common area just lying on top of each other napping, children would snuggle into any adult that could make the time for them, and mates could tell their significant other had entered the room just from presence. My father used to tell me stories about how he felt when he first saw my mother, he told me that the world seemed to stand still and that his eyes seemed to blur out everything except her. He approached her slow and formed a friendship that progressed to love, it pained me to see the mated couples, even Jared and Chloe, having an arm around each other or even just lounging on a chair together in silence. That was what I wanted to experience with Sapphire, but I knew that it would be a long time before I could experience that.
I could never blame her for acting the way she did, she reacted to anything with so much caution and apprehension, but was totally justifiable due to what she experienced at the Black Blood Pack, she suffered a fate that no mate should. On the second day of her stay she told me about the fairy tale, where we starred as the main characters, and it made me fume. Not only were we played around with like dolls, but the goddesses took away the time where we could have found each other and bonded, without Sapphire needing to experience the pain she did... she could have had a happy life and a future with me, with her family.
My heart ached every time she stood in front of my Pack Warriors and trained, she was amazing, yes, but for someone who just lived through hell... she was pushing herself way too hard. She would spar till even my Generals were exhausted, but she did not stop, she just moved on to the next. I knew what she was trying to do, she was trying to prove herself worthy of her title, a mentality no doubt pushed upon her by her former Elders and Alpha. They ingrained in her the need to prove herself worthy to others, the need to let others know of her ability and see that she was not a waste of space. My Generals have come to me to persuade her to stop, they recognised her ability and have long found her worthy of her title but it seemed, even to them, that the only person who thought she were not worthy was herself.
She made it clear to me from day one that she was not going to change, that even if I, an Alpha, was her mate, she would never abandon her training and become a little meek mouse. I remember the look of pure shock on her face when I told her that I never expected her to change, she was her own person who was I to dictate her life, I was a mate, my duty was to support her not to bring her down. If she wanted to train who was I to stop her. Besides, my mother and father would put me in my grave if they ever got wind of me treating my mate like a trophy, an object that I only kept because it was beautiful enough to show off to others, as proof, that I was able to claim something so gorgeous. She had been someone who had been pushed down by her own pack for so long that she believed that every little thing she did had a flaw, sometimes that could be a good thing as it helps one strive for perfection but she went to the point where she was causing her body harm. She refused to sleep for the fear of nightmares and so was basically training blind. She was a train running at full speed, fueled only by the already charred coal.
I hope that tomorrow will give us an opportunity to really have a heart-to-heart that would bring us closer, because over these few months, it seemed that every time I managed to break a layer of her walls, she would just build two more walls each time she had a panic attack. I want her to realise that she is not alone in all of this, that she does not have to bear this burden alone. I can see the determination in her eyes to avenge her family and I want her to know that I would support her all the way because we are in this together, her fights are mine as well.
I looked over at her face one more time, she really did look young with her lips slightly parted as she sleeps, the moonlight shining in through the window bathing her in its soft glow. I smiled to myself before turning to my side, praying that tomorrow would be a new start for the both of us.
“What in the world are you doing rummaging through the safe in this ungodly hour?”
I froze, my hands tightening around the velvet box in my hand. I turned around to see Jared leaning against the doorframe of my office, hair mused and eyebrows raised.
“I think the question is what are you, Jared, doing wandering the house at this ungodly hour?”
He rolled his eyes before walking up to me, snatching the velvet box out of my hands.
“I have a pregnant mate who wakes up at various times of the night to vomit while screaming at me to get out because it is apparently my fault that she is in this state.”
He said this in a monotonous voice suggesting that this was not the first time he had been kicked out of his own room by Chloe. He took a closer look at the embossed velvet case in his hands before looking at me with widened eyes.
“Don’t you think that it is still too early to give this to her? I mean, she is still reeling from what happened to her, still recovering. She has only just become comfortable with you staying in her room. I don’t think that you should just drop such a bomb on her without warning.”
I ran my tongue over my dry lips as I took the box out of his hands before stowing it in a bag sitting on my desk. This box would change everything... it would be a big change, but I believed Sapphire was ready.
“I think this is the best thing for her right now, I know she must want it. She is already playing the role...why not make it official?”
Jared had his arms folded across his chest, eyes straying to the bag where I had stowed the box before returning to meet mine.
“This is ultimately your choice, Xander, so I am not going to stop you or discourage you, but I want you to brace yourself in case she says no because remember, her life will be affected by this as well... all our lives will.”
With that, he gave me one last nod out of respect before walking off back to his room.
I leaned against my desk as I thought about what Jared said, I knew that what I was going to ask of Sapphire was not a trivial thing at all, it was a big decision that would affect not only our lives but the lives of each and every one of the members of the Shadow Mountain Pack. I knew that there was a great possibility that she would say no to me and I told myself, the moment I decided to take this step, I would fully respect her choice.
I took a deep breath as I walked out of my office, my hand gripped the wooden banister of the staircase as I looked up, it was time to wake Sapphire up for our run. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stood in front of her bedroom door, my hand slightly trembling as I raised it to knock on the door, but before I could the door swung open to reveal a freshly showered Sapphire, a small smile on her face as she saw my stunned reaction.
“Are you just going to stand there...or are you going to take me on the run you promised me?”