Chapter One: Having Terrible Regrets

It has been two years since I have shifted into my human form. I was sixteen at that time. That's the day I became an orphan. A lone she-wolf. From that day I promise myself I'll never, ever show myself to anyone and I had also made a promise to my mom as well that I'll never reveal my human side to anyone, period.

Hot tears pool from my ocean blue eyes as I remembered the death of my parents and my pack. I was the cause of it all. Me....., yes. I was the one.

I murdered my parents and the entire werewolf pack. I'm a freaking curse and I wish I was never born. Why didn't I die at birth? And why did the moon goddess had to give me this strange appearance? It's not beautiful if it only causes terror and pain. I can't even walk around in my human form without men chasing after me in claiming me as their own. That was the cause of it all.

I sobbed in pain holding my stomach as it aches badly. I could not cry anymore, there were no more tears left to shed than to yell.

I started to yell angrily, holding my stomach as I felt this acute, throbbing pain, within my stomach.

“I hate myself!” I screamed at the moon within the dark sky.

“I hate you, moon goddess!” I yelled again until there was no more sound that could escape from my lungs.

My throat was hoarse and badly sore from my constantly yelling and screaming. I wheeze in pain heavily as I lay within the cold cave deep within the forest which has been my home for two years now since I was sixteen and alone.

I don't remember how my face looked. I've never shifted back into my human form that day since my entire pack was ambush all because of me. This stupid bitch.

I should have shut my mouth and widen my legs, so he could have his ways with me.

If I had let him rape me, my parents and the entire pack would still be alive. Why didn’t I think of that, before that terrible incident happen?

“Stupid bitch,” I described myself as I bang my head within the hard walls of the dark, cold cave.

Suddenly I started to feel this acute pain throbbing within my head from the hard wall of the cave, but what I felt inside was much worse. There was no pain within this world that could measure up to what I felt inside.

“And why was I still alive, anyway?” I asked myself scornfully.

I wish I was not alive and that my parents and the entire pack were.

I sobbed quietly as I lay within the dirty cave. The scent of the cave smelled old and frowsty, but it didn't compare to my funky scent. I have not taken a bath throughout these years after the terrible incident. There was no need to anyways. This cursed body doesn't need to be taken care of, whatever happens to it. It surely deserves it.

Whatever goes inside it. I don’t care. It doesn’t deserve a proper meal, even though I will never receive a decent meal.

I remember eating bake chicken and bread with my parents. That was the last good meal I consume after that.

I grunted, angrily.

Now, I eat any crap I can find. A roach or a dead bird. I find laying below a tree bark. I don't know what killed it, but I don't care. As I have said whatever goes inside this stinking body. I don't give a fuck.

I was once a white wolf. My fur was as white and beautiful as the cloud within the sky. Now I don’t know what the heck, color I am now. Maybe I'm gray or some kind of black; I laughed.

“Hah....,” I laughed out insanely.

As I lay I remembered what had happened two years ago. As if it had happened now.

I was sixteen years old. My mom, Isla, and Dad, Logan. Was busy outside cutting woods to prepare supper. I watched them from the window as they worked. I wasn't allowed to go outside to play with the other girls or to make friends. I was always on the inside. I was only allowed to go outside for a short time or to attend a meeting organized by our leader. The alpha, Aaron. Every wolf who was a part of the Moon pack had to attend. It was mandatory.

That's when I saw one of the alphas, beta. Comes running carrying a letter. He gave it to my dad. My dad opened the letter and started to read.

Before the beta left. He glimpses me watching through the window. Suddenly I felt a weird feeling rushing within my stomach. That something was wrong.

I hid from him, hiding behind the blue curtain. I then peek to see if he was gone and started to watch my dad as he read the letter standing as still as a post. Finally, he had finished reading the letter. He then went over to my mom, looking worried about something.

I push away the curtain from the window allowing anyone to see me watching. I was eager to know what was wrong.

My mom started to read the letter as well. Suddenly I saw her covering her mouth, terrified of something.

As I stared through the window worried. My dad turned towards the brown cottage where we dwell and saw be watching him.

I saw his blue eyes filled with tears. My mom rushed over to him breaking down in tears. Asking my dad. “What shall they do?”

She repeatedly inquires him, until my dad grabbed her by both of her hands shaking her to be quiet.

Not being able to bear what was happening I ran to my room. Hiding underneath my bed, terrified. I saw that my fifty-inch hair was revealing my hideout.

As I pulled in my long white hair that was whiter than the snow beneath the bed. I shook like a leave. Scared of knowing what was within that letter that led to the terrible reaction of my parents.