iv. ultimatum

Starbucks is packed like it always is after school.

While most school kids' hangouts are small cafes or popular landmarks, we choose Starbucks. Since we’re all a bunch of caffeine addicts, but mostly because it’s close to school. That’s what we’re going with anyway.

The girls and I walk through the familiar doors a little after three and collectively take a large inhale at the smell of coffee and sweetness. After groaning in exasperation, Gina runs up to the lengthy line at the counter.

“You two wonderful ladies like anything?” Von asks, holding her hands up as she walks away backward.

I grin and reach into the pocket on the side of my bag for my cup and hand it to her. “My usual, please. I’ll pay you back.” She waves me off dismissively and makes her way to the end of the line, next to Gina.

“Is there an empty table anywhere in this place?” Jodene says, turning in a slow circle.

I spot one instantly—a two-seater by the windows. “There,” I point at it, “we can just steal two more chairs.” We hurry over to the table before anyone jumps up out of nowhere to grab it.

“Christ, I only have like an hour and a half before I have to be at work and it’s probably gonna take all night before I get my measly latte.”

“Oh, you can wait at least fifteen minutes,” Jodene says with a small grin.

I fall back on my chair dramatically as she steps away to snatch two empty seats from the other tables. Sitting up, I cross my legs and rest my bag on my lap to get my computer from it.

“Don’t look now, but asshole of the century keeps glancing your way,” Jodene says lightly, her eyes glancing to the side quickly.

My eyes close, but my skin prickles and my heart thumps erratically. “Please tell me that’s not who I think it is.”

Jodene giggles. “He’s been giving you looks all day.”

My eyes snap open and I lean over to hiss at her, “No, he hasn’t.”

She ignores me. “It might be the skirt.” Her eyes fall to my chest and I sit back again. “Or those.”

A disbelieving laugh escapes me and I reach up, unthinkingly placing my hands on my boobs over my halter crop top. I open my mouth to scold her but a round of catcalls and cheering cuts me off.

Out of reflex, I look over, and my jaw drops when I see a table of guys looking right at me with huge grins. Some of them even threw me a thumbs up. I don’t know what it is at first until my eyes meet Reese’s light ones. He’s staring right at me, and it’s enough for me to remember where my hands are and drop them quickly.

I hold his gaze for a moment, before turning away. “Oh God,” I say under my breath, my face hot.

“Ouu-”

“Oh, shut up,” I cut off Jodene’s gloating, reaching for my computer. I stumble over my next words, resisting the urge to fan myself. “Doesn’t matter. He’s just like the rest of them.”

“Or maybe… he’s finally seeing you for the beautiful swan you are,” she says with a grin, batting her eyelashes and cupping her cheeks playfully.

I laugh humorlessly. “Oh no. I really doubt that, and it’s nothing I want anyway.” My laptop lights up the same time Von and Gina join us. Yvonne blocks my view from the table of guys, and I let out a relieved breath at the coverage.

I snatch my cup from the table when she sets it down, and take a long drink, trying to get Reese’s face out of my head.

Years. It’s been years since I spoke to him. Years since I’ve let go of all the strong feelings I once had for the blond-haired brute and I refuse to go back there. I hadn’t even known him back then and he had me a sobbing, broken mess.

I groan when I zone into the conversation again at the mention of the very person I’m trying to not think about.

Cursing, I throw my hands up. “Can we stop talking about that miscreant.”

“Oh. Fancy insult, classy,” Gina teases with her straw between her teeth.

“Do you want me to hate you?” I retort, looking around at them.

They don’t even seem bothered by it. Shaking my head, I wave off whatever they’re saying to get me even more riled up, to check my emails. It’s something my friends continuously tease me about, but I’ve always done it. Especially, now with college coming up.

In the next few minutes, our conversation ranges from school to college, then the party we’re all going to tonight which is being thrown by our football team’s linebacker, Lorenxo Diez.

“Do you think he might still be seeing that girl from last year?” Yvonne wonders, her eyes shining with that far away glint when she thinks about boys.

“I don’t think so,” Jodene responds. She leans over and takes a sip from Gina’s drink.

“While you’re all doing what you do,” I say, closing my laptop and reaching for my bag on the back of my chair, “I have to get to work. And you’re picking us up at-”

“Nine forty-five, sharp. Be ready or I’m coming up to drag you out by your fishtail.” Yvonne points at me threateningly.

I make a face at her as I get up and place my bag on the chair. “I’ll be there stepmother. No need to go megabitch on me.” She says something in French—smooth and silky the way she does. “Whatever you just said, right back at you and ten times over.” When I look at her after hearing snickering, she’s already grinning at me, her perfect smile wide and bright.

“Before you go,” she starts, crossing her arms on the table, “do something for me.”

“Yeah, sure. What?” I look down at my bag again as I’m zipping it close.

“Say hi to Reese on your way.”

My head snaps up, and this time, I can’t control my expression. I know my mouth is wide open with my eyes mirrored. Like every time today and every other day when his name is mentioned, my heart does jumping jacks behind my ribcage.

“Maybe in the form of…” she trails off, making a noise in the back of her throat, “a kiss, let’s say?”

Now, my eyes feel like they’re going to pop out of my head.

Since the development of this holiday we’ve always enforced our rules. As already established, we go over them before we start our day, but one thing that had made an exception to those rules, but hasn’t been brought up in years, is kissing. No one has dared or been dared to kiss anyone. Ever. After a while, I’d forgotten that it was even allowed and it drifted off into nothing. Until now.

I hear a loud thump and realize I dropped my bag back on the chair. Smiling bitterly, I place both my palms on the table, shaking my head. “You are messy,” I say slowly to play off the panic inside my body.

The face she makes is one of fake shame. “I am. I’m sorry.”

Momentarily, I forget the severity of the situation and straighten myself. “I will end you,” I say threateningly. I run my hands over my skirt to get rid of the wetness on my palms and get myself together.

Her grin is fierce and once again she says something in French. Only this time, she translates. “Ruin me, sweetheart.”

I breathe a few times and glance between my friends. The other two are busy gaping, too stunned to say a thing. Not that I blame them, if I were the one sitting, I’d be in the same state.

Even if we hadn’t established our rules, I doubt there’s anything Von wouldn’t do so I know my threats mean nothing to her. She’s always been the more carefree, fearless one in our group—something I’ve always admired the more I got to know her. She gives us all the push we need because if we have to face it, without each other, we’d all be a bunch of loners too scared to go for what we wanted.

Steeling myself, I turn on my heel slowly and for a second, I feel different. Like I’m not me anymore. I’ve never had an out of body experience so I don’t know if this is what it would feel like. My limbs are numb and my mind goes blank. I take a deep breath and sound fades into the background as my loud inhale and exhale fill my ears. I feel like I’m floating as I cross the room—my feet above ground as I weave through tables and chairs.

It takes forever to get where I need to be. It’s cliché and insane, but the closer I get, the more distant I feel. I don’t acknowledge it because I can’t think through my panic and it makes this bearable.

Reese has been standing with his back to the rest of the shop for a while. I’m guessing it’s because once he’d gotten up a few minutes ago, one of his friends snatched his seat. He hadn’t mind and had taken to standing while nursing whatever is in his Lehigh-themed cup.

I realize I’m close enough when I hear the baritone of his voice. A shudder wracks my body so hard that my legs almost give out. Then I’m standing behind him, my breathing and pulse drowning out everything else as I stare at the back of his head.

At first, it’s a glance over his shoulder hesitantly, then he turns and gives me his full attention. His hazel eyes are a swirl of blue-green with brown around his pupils and flecks of gold glistening under the lights.

I almost swoon but remember why I’m here.

Don’t think. Just do it.

I let out a subtle breath through my parted lips and take a step closer to him.

I clear my throat under my breath before saying, “Hi.” My voice comes out low and shallow but loud enough for him to hear me. I don’t wait for a response. “You don’t have a girlfriend, do you?”

His eyebrows furrow in confusion, but he shakes his head anyway.

Don’t think.

Swallowing, I take the last small steps to him in stride, and I don’t hesitate. He leans back with the force of my body meeting his and I feel his hands on my sides. It’s purely out of reflex, obviously, so I don’t overthink it.

Placing my hand on his shoulder to steady myself, I lean up and kiss him.

Even though I still can’t hear anything over the thrumming in my ears, my body—instead of still being in its numb and unfeeling state—becomes oversensitive. I know every single part of our bodies that are touching, and it’s almost too overwhelming.

He doesn’t push me away. His hands tighten on my exposed skin and he pulls me the closest I can get. The action sends an intense heatwave over and under my skin. My hand slides into the back of his hair and not long after, his fingers are tickling the back of my neck. His head tilts slightly as our lips continuously brush against each other and in that moment I send a mental thanks to anyone in the universe that’s listening. And Yvonne.

He tastes like caramel and coffee. That added with the soft brush of his fingers on my skin, makes me light-headed and queasy. In a good way.

This is what I’ve been missing.

I don’t know exactly how, but I remember we’re in public. And not just public, but Starbucks public and that’s much different. Making out with a guy on the sidewalk is in a different ballpark than making out with a guy in a closed space. Outside, people walk away and ignore it, but in here they have no choice but to look, especially if we’re standing around going at it.

When we part, I force myself to pull back. Our breaths mingle for a few seconds before I open my eyes.

He’s already watching me, and I stare into his beautiful eyes and his dilated pupils in amazement and terror. We’re both breathing heavily and my insides twist in discomfort at the thought of what might come next—the rejection.

I’m stuttering uncontrollably with my next words. “M-my friend- she wanted me to give that to you.” It’s the first thing that comes to mind when in actuality, I shouldn’t even be touching him anymore.

That thought has me dropping my hands swiftly and taking a quick step back. I’m ready to bolt but cheering diverts my attention onto the boys and some other kids from school who’re sitting at other tables close by. My face is a torch as I force myself to breathe normally.

I look back at Reese who’s standing frozen in place. His mouth is open, he’s breathing heavy, and his eyes are glossy. I force a smile that feels like a grimace and turn before speed-walking away.

I don’t look at my friends when I approach the table. I simply grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder in one go, then take my cup from the table and leave.