1. ARIANA: THE HUMAN WORLD
The music in my ears was low enough to hear the conversation taking place between my sister and dad. Eva was telling him about all the great activities Sewn Lake College had to offer and everything she was planning on participating in.
It was all a lie.
Eva was only planning on attending the college for one reason. A reason we both knew would make Dad lock us up.
I was only going along with my sister’s plan because the college had a great art program. She knew I’d be interested in it and she managed to talk me into it.
The forms had been filled, our acceptance letters delivered to the pack and then the tuition was paid.
But as Dad drove us to our new home until we graduate, I was starting to regret my decision.
Something about it felt. . .wrong.
Maybe it was just the fact that I was about to step out of my comfort zone. Maybe it was because we were about to enter human territory, or maybe it was just because I knew that Eva was going to do something stupid the first chance she got.
I loved my sister but I hated her restlessness and constant urge to try something new. She always dragged me down the rabbit hole with her.
Letting out a sigh, I unlocked my phone to skip the song and then focused on the passing scenery again.
Two more hours and then we’d be entering the town.
My stomach clenched with nerves and fear. We’d be staying in Sewn for a year, maybe even longer if Eva found a reason to stay. I’d be forced to stay with her because according to Dad we were safer together.
“Ari?”
My eyes snapped to the front of the car. I hesitated and then reached up to pull the earphones from my ears. Dad’s eyes locked with mine in the rear-view mirror for a few seconds before he focused back on the road.
“Are you okay, honey bee?” he asked. “You seem a bit nervous.”
I smiled. “I am.”
“And not even a little excited?”
“Not really,” I muttered.
“Of course she is,” Eva exclaimed. “You know how Eva is daddy. She over thinks everything.”
“I can’t help it,” I told her.
“Over thinking things aren’t going to get you anywhere, Ari. It’s why you’ve experienced so little in life.”
Dad chuckled as he caught my eyes again for a few seconds. “I hate to say this, but your sister’s right. It’s okay to stop over thinking things and just enjoy the moment.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed my earphones back into my ears. Pressing play, I dropped my phone onto my lap and leaned my forehead against the cool window.
They didn’t understand.
I felt sicker by each passing second.
We just passed the sign welcoming us to the town. A few minutes later Dad turned off onto the main road.
“Breathe, Ari,” Dad ordered softly.
I sucked in a breath after I realized that I’d been holding it.
Reaching up, I ripped the earphone out and stuffed my phone into my bag. My heart was beating a mile a minute the deeper we drove into town.
There were humans everywhere I looked.
Without even realizing it, my hands drifted to my stomach and my fingers traced the scars over my shirt. Everything was still fresh in my mind. It felt like it had happened only yesterday instead of nine years ago. The brutality of the attack was something that would never be forgotten. I had the memories and the scars to proof it.
“Don’t look so terrified,” Eva called. “You know that it will all be okay.”
I looked at her when she placed a hand on my knee.
“I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”
But for how long?
Eva gave me another smile and then turned back in her seat. She should’ve been with me that day, but she blew me off to hang out with her friends instead.
I knew that it would only be a matter of time before it happened again. Her constant need for adventure usually drove her away and led her straight into trouble.
Shaking my head, I sucked in another deep breath and slowly blew it out.
The car slowed and a second later Dad turned into the parking lot. I’d never seen so many humans gathered together in one place.
It took a while for Dad to find a parking space amongst all the chaos.
“I’ll go get out schedules and stuff,” Eva said as she out of the car.
I knew that I needed to get out too, but my body was frozen.
Loud voices and laughter filled my ears as everyone around us went on like we weren’t there.
A growl fell from my lips when my door was suddenly opened, but it died down when I realized who it was. Dad gave me a small smile as he leaned into the car to unclip my seatbelt.
“You don’t have to do this, honey bee,” he said softly. “We can turn around now and head back home.”
It would be so easy to do just that. So easy to allow my fear of humans to destroy the only chance I had at doing something I loved.
“I-I can do this,” I whispered. “I just need. . .” I trailed off with a shrug.
“Take all the time you need.” Giving my arm a squeeze, he closed the door again and moved to the back of the car.
I did the breathing exercises Grandma taught me as I fought to clear my head.
It wouldn’t be so bad; it was all in my head. The mind was a dangerous thing—it could twist everything and turn it into a nightmare.
I didn’t want fear to rule me. I wanted to be like Eva. I wanted to do things without second-guessing. I wanted to be fearless.
But it wasn’t going to happen overnight.
Getting out of the car and not having a breakdown was the first step in the direction of being. . .normal.
Licking my lips, I grabbed my bag and reached for the door handle, but froze again. You can do it. I know you can.
There was a soft click as the door opened. My legs felt like jelly which meant that I had to lean against the car to stay upright. I slowly slid along the car until I reached the back where Dad was busy unloading our bags.
He paused and looked at me. “Okay?”
I nodded, unable to find my voice.
Having him so close was a big comfort because I knew that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt me.
He’s going to leave soon.
I shook my head and pushed the voice away. It wasn’t making things any easier for me.
In order to focus on something else, I turned slightly and studied the humans a few feet away. Like us, they were busy unloading their bags, but unlike us, they had two parents present and not just one.
An all familiar ache filled my chest.
“I wish mom was here,” I whispered before I could stop myself.
Dad paused. Pain flashed through his eyes but it disappeared again within a few seconds. It was stupid to have said something like that. Between the three of us, Dad was the one suffering the most.
I didn’t truly understand the mate-bond I’d been taught about in school, didn’t understand why they said that it could kill you, but hearing Dad cry when he thought we were asleep. . .it tore me up a little.
There were times when I wanted to ask him to explain the pain he felt to me, but I never did.
I asked Grandpa once and he told me that it felt like your heart was being torn out of your chest.
I could barely handle things as it was the last thing I wanted was to find my mate and suffer the pain Dad was suffering. It had been years since we lost Mom and he was still hurting. The only difference was the fact that Dad had gotten better at hiding the pain from us.
“Me too,” Dad said softly. “She might not be with us physically, but she’s in our hearts and I know for sure that wherever she is, that she’s looking down at her brave little girl with a big smile.”
My lips tilted up into a smile even when my eyes filled with tears. Sometimes I thought about that too, but it wasn’t the same. We were just unlucky when it came to family.
But at least the knowledge that one day we’d all be together again, gave me some comfort.