2.

Elai wakes up with a dry mouth and another nightmare haunting his morning. He shoots up with wide eyes, sun brightly shining through his window. He wants to take a moment to come down from the nightmare, from seeing his mother’s face deformed and dying. But there isn’t any time left; today is his birthday. He wants to get to Mave as quick as possible. This is going to be the best day of his life; he’s sure of. excitement fills his stomach as he puts on his princely clothes. He barely wears the outfit, but today is special. Today is a new beginning. Elai’s heart seems to bounce out of his chest with a smile plastered on his face. It feels good to have a purpose, even if it’s just a tiny one.

The prince takes a deep breath before he rushes out of his room. He ignores the rumbling of his stomach; he can’t get distracted now. First practice, then breakfast.

The walls are dressed in cloths that wear the colors of Lyle. Elai had always liked the shade of blue they owned; it was like a small victory when he was little. It was nice to think that the color was symbolic, and that no one else used it the way Lyle did. He had pride towards his kingdom back then, when he didn’t understand how bad his life was going to get.

If he was still that little boy, he would’ve been happy to see his father took the time to ask the maids to dress the castle up. Now it somewhat gives him a headache, and a displeased look appears on his face; as if he ever meant the love he has when he’s in contact with the maids. Such bullshit.

The birthday boy feels like he’s on a memory lane as he walks down the hall towards the training arena. Oh the excitement this place used to give him, when he still thought going outside of his room had any purpose. Elai can’t help but huff at his old self. If only you knew the entire kingdom pretends you don’t exist. He wonders who he would’ve been if they did. If they acknowledged his existence as just another beautiful form of life, instead of something as dark as a curse.

He has to shake the thoughts out of his head when he walks into the arena, mud already staining his white boots. He tries to loosen up his ponytail, the tight knot pulling on his skin. Mave is already waiting for him, biting on his nails as he always does. It puts a small smile on Elai’s face; at least he knows the habits of one brother. He’s dangling his feet over the table, cups surrounding him.

“Our birthday boy! I thought we’d start like an hour ago!” Mave hops down onto his feet.

He sticks out his arms as an invitation, and it makes Elai wonder if they would’ve been close if his father hadn’t locked him up and threatened him. Would they be different if they were allowed to hang out like normal brothers? Perhaps.

Why is his mind so out of control on the only day special to him?

“I feel bad that you don’t have a festival, so I thought..” Mave outstretches his arms, little sparks of fire coming out of his hands now. Elai had not noticed yet, but the arena was decorated. It is indeed nothing like am festival, which usually lasts a week for his brothers and father, but it was still a nice gesture. It would’ve been fun to see civilians celebrate a day for an entire week. It probably boosts your ego. It probably boosts Mave’s ego.

“Why not bring it here!” He finishes his sentence before going back to patiently waiting for an embrace.

It feels weird to hug his brother, but he closes his eyes nonetheless. It is the first embrace he’s ever had, besides the ones he got from the twins when they had gotten back from the war.

“Alright, so!” Mave points his fingers at the table.

Of course they were going to start with the cup trick first. What else would Mave have come up with? He doesn’t know anything about Death Gazers, and neither does Elai. Even though he is one himself.

“I know we have completely different abilities, but the core concentration must be the same, so we’ll be alright.”

Mave is chaotic, and not very good at organizing things, let alone explaining. Before Elai can start to understand a single thing of what his brother has been saying, sweat droplets are already covering his forehead and chest.

“Just take a deep breath, close your eyes and look at yourself. Feel yourself.” Mave’s voice is still as calm as it was two hour ago, though. He doesn’t seem to mind that it is taking way longer than they both had expected.

Elai does as he is told, inhaling deeply and doing it once more before focusing on himself. His eyelids manifest himself in front of him, the vague image of what should be him appearing. He doesn’t like to think of the way he looks; his hair is beautifully long but messily done, his nose is small and he doesn’t even want to acknowledge the shape of his face. But it is important, his brother had said.

Mave snaps him out of his thoughts. “Getting somewhere?”

“Yeah. Sure. Picturing myself is easy. Just get to the blood part.” Elai doesn’t get it. How does one feel their own blood rush through their veins?

“You’ve got to find the flow of it. keep your breath steady and your eyes closed.”

“How do you want me to fight if I have to keep my eyes closed when I concentrate?”

“You do not have to. Just for now.”

Elai is impatient. He hates that he can’t do it. No matter how relaxed his mind gets, his bloodstream is nowhere to- oh.

The boy audibly gasps when he feels something crawl inside of his arm. It’s scary at first, until he realizes it is what he has been looking for. Mave crosses his arm with a grin on his face; he knew he’d be able to find it. He can feel it everywhere.

“Try to find the one that connects to the center of your body. It is a separate line, one that slithers to your neck.”

The progress he had suddenly made was terrifying, because after finding his core, it’ll be actual practice. He will get to use his ability.. consciously. A shiver runs down his spine, bringing his attention to his neck. He takes another deep breath right before he senses the extra pressure on his skin.

“I can see your concentration is starting to work.” The word appeared to mean much more than Elai had thought it would. It is more than concentration; it is everything. It is his entire body, his entire mind and soul. It is not about focus. It is about being one with yourself. So this is what it’s like.

“Fun, huh? I can’t remember the time I found out how it worked.”

The remark would’ve gotten Elai sad if he wasn’t having such a good time right now. He would’ve felt separated from his family once more. There was no time for that sorrow now.

“I will remember this. Always.” He will. It will forever roar within him; a feeling unlikely to ever come again.

The young prince has to close his eyes for a moment; the overwhelming joy is weighing down on his shoulders. He is restless but calm, present but absent. He feels so much yet so little. His blood is like a small stream that licks his skin from neck to shoulder and shoulder to center. It is weird, but it is beautiful all the same.

Mave is quite impressed; two hours isn’t as much as it seems. “Now all you have to do is carry it to your fingertips.”

Elai knew it could also be used with the eyes, but it was a much more powerful force. He would not wield from them, would never dare to get so close to someone’s death. Practicing this was not for causing pain or harming someone. He just wanted to know how it was like, how he was supposed to use it. He did not need his eyes to feel it.

“And focus your eyes on what you want to break. You are not skilled enough to know what you’re doing without those eyes.” It wasn’t a snarl, Elai does not take it personally.

The journey from his core to his fingertips is easy enough. Before Elai can even comprehend it, it had already happened. One of the cups on the table had shattered. Mave loves the dramatic effects; water spurts out of it and a smile lands on his face. Elai lets out a sound he hasn’t made before. it is a sound of ecstasy; he just felt himself break something.

“I feel like I could take on anyone on Tverindal right now!” Elai has never sounded so happy, and even Mave can’t help but feel a lump grow in his throat. This is all the boy had ever wanted; for himself to be free. His brother is glad that he gets to see him live a day just like that. He’s glad he gets to hang out with him.

“Try another one, let it be a natural flow!” Now it is fun for Mave, too.

Elai does as his brother tells him, hands tensing up as his eyes sway to a different cup. It breaks as soon as his eyes land on the material. It was too fast; it should worry both brothers. But they are too happy, too into the moment to understand what it meant.

Another one, and then again, and then the table, and a small crack in the wall. The boys laugh; nothing was a match for the gaze of Elai.

Elai turned to his brother with joy in his eyes, hands dropping beside him. It was just a split second, one simple look at his brother. There still was a smile on his face, even when Mave’s scream reached his ears. It took him some time to understand what he had done. His brother falls down with his hand gripping onto his broken shoulder.

He screams his brother’s name over and over again.

Elai! Elai! Elai! Elai!

The pain will not stop, not until Elai realizes he is still watching his brother. He is watching.

Mave won’t stop screaming and crying. Elai understands his father will come soon. He will hear, and he will punish. It might as well be the end of him. It might as well be his death day. Elai stares at the wall in front of him as he feels his concentration disappear. He falls onto his knees without taking a single look at his brother; he is done for.

“Mave!” There he was, the most terrifying man Elai had ever known, gold crown pressed upon his head. His age showed well upon his skin, eyebrows furrowed as he asks Mave what had happened.

He can’t speak; it is too painful. All he can do is breathe, sob and then breathe again. It does not take long for Zev and Jaya to rush in, terror already on their faces. Zev is the only one that hurries past Mave and instead goes for Elai.

“Don’t- don’t look at me..” Elai feels ashamed.

He cannot look up. It will destroy. It will ruin. It will kill.