Unanswered Prayers

Six days, three hours, and twenty nine minutes, it has been exactly that since I last saw him, since the moment everything I have dreamed of turned into ash infront of my eyes.

Why Goddess? Why are you so cruel to me? Why did you exclude me from the care and happiness you cast upon your children? Why put me through this? Why, after giving me hope and letting me know how sweet love was, you took it all in just a second?

Do you hate me, Goddess?

I have only wanted him, since the day we met ten years ago in that horrible place, he was the very first person to show me kindness, to care for me, to protect me, even when he himself was endangered, I remember how it was in that cage with him, both starved and terrified, I remember him, blocking my ears whenever the "monster" growled, I felt his shivering limbs back then, he was afraid too, but he still chose to protect me.

I remember our conversations, how he told me about his pack, his father, the alpha, his sister, who was always mean to him, and his mother, the one he never met because she was kidnapped and murdered the day he was born, I never had a family, I didn't know what it felt like to be away from them, but right then, with the thought of being separated from him, I knew what he had become to me.

My family.

And just like family, he stood up for me, when the sky was set on fire and the horns of hell roared a song of death, when the place we were kept on was under attack, werewolves, vampires, witches, as well as several shifter clans, all answered the call of Alpha Jared Silvermoon to attack the shrine of the monsters and save his son.

And that son held my hand through it all, and refused to let go and go home without me.

Goddess, all I have prayed for was to be his, and he mine, I have never even considered the idea of being with someone else, nor have I paid any attention to the admiring glances I was recieving every now and then, I just never thought of myself with anyone but Axel, the only future I ever dreamt of was by his side, with our pups surrounding us.

But again, Goddess, you were so cruel to me...

I wipe away the lone fat tear that rolled on my cheek, unable to resist the feeling of self pity which accompanied me since her arrival.

The gorgeous witch, his mate, the one who killed my hopes and dreams just by existing.

That is it, that is all she had to do to steal his heart, just exist in the same room as him, it was all that took her to make herself the center of his univers.

The look he gave her, as if there was no one else left in the world, not even me.

As if she was his entire world.

I have been there, I have always been there, and yet he didn't notice me, not until I lost it and tried to attack her.

Goddess, why am I like this?

I attacked her! I attacked Axel's mate! And since that accident I have been detained in the facility while he took his beautiful luna back to the pack house, he didn't even call once, nor visited, and why would he? Now that he has his mate by his side.

The mate I have tried to harm...

Will he ever forgive me for this?

I force my body off the couch I have been sitting on for more than I should and walk into the bathroom, shedding every stitch of clothes I have on me, I step infront of the mirror to stare at the waste of space I am.

Of course he would be that charmed by her, I mean, look at yourself Leora, unlike her golden hair and green eyes topped with fair complexions and gorgeous lean body, my black hair and black eyes, small and curvy body makes me look like a chubby sack of potatoes in front of her.

She looked like a beautiful rainbow in the sky, so beautiful and vividly colorful, unlike me who is the living picture of stillness and dullness.

I never thought of myself to be a beauty, Living with werewolves never really allowed me to feel beautiful, they are indeed fascinating creatures with great genes, perfect bodies, and gorgeous faces, which always made me feel less than average, not ugly but not beautiful either, but now, with her face imprinted in my mind, staring at me with those mossy greens of hers, I can barely keep looking at myself without pity.

With a sigh, I step inside the shower, I don't know if the water is hot or cold, I don't even know if I washed my hair or my body, I do everything on autopilot, clean myself, put my clothes back on since no one bothered to bring me some spares, and exist the bathroom to go back to the sofa.

"Hello, Ora" my heart skips a beat at the sound of voice landing on my ears, at first I thought he is just an illusion created by my mind, but it is not, he is really here, siting on the sofa with his legs crossed and a reserved expression on his face.

It right in this moment that I have not only seen it, but felt it with my whole heart, I know now while looking at his eyes that things are never going to be the same.

"Come here, Ora, don't be afraid." Noticing my stiff posture and probably pale face, he tries to soften his words a little, thinking that I am afraid of him, I am terrified! But not of him, I am terrified of what is yet to come.

Swallowing down my saliva, I slowly march towards the sofa and take a seat by his side, wondering what to say first, apologize? Explain myself? Promise not to do it again?

I don't want to do any of these things! For fuck's sake all I want to do is scream, tell him that this is all wrong and that it should have been me, I am the one for him, not her, not anyone, but me!

"Axel...I" fuck, just stop chocking on your words and fucking say it, Ora.

"I know..." He looks down a little, seemingly weighing his next words and the damage they will deliver, Goddess, please, no more.

"I know that you were heartbroken for the past few days, same as I am well aware of your feelings, and as much as I appreciate them, I sadly can't reciprocate them..." Just shut up! Shut up! Don't say no more!

"But my heart has always belonged to Ciana, even before meeting her, she was and will always be the one, Ora." He looks at me with serious eyes, and it takes all my strength to not cry infront of him, I will not have humiliation added to my wounds.

"What you did the other day was unforgivable, Ora, I swear if it was anyone else, I would have killed them on spot, buy you? I just can't do that to you, and that is why I am here.…"

He waits for me to say something, but I don't have anything to say, I just keep my eyes down, hiding my pain from him.

"You must promise me that something like that will never occur again, you are a very important person to me, Ora, you of all people can't hurt me that way!"