Eleven

For the next two weeks I woke up in the arms of someone I didn’t know and when I turned on the light I found I was always alone with Zack. On Friday I slept with the lights on. When I woke up Saturday morning, I opened my eyes in hope that finally I’d get to see who the stranger was but found myself cuddling a big brown teddy bear. I frowned. It wasn't even mine.

Zack was sound asleep as I slipped out of bed angrily.

Janice was in the kitchen when I went down for breakfast. She was munching on pancakes and hot milk. She looked terrible with big bags under her eyes. It took me a second to realise she’d been crying.

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “Your dad…”

I had forgotten. It would’ve been their twenty-ninth anniversary today. I wrapped her in a hug for lack of better words. I wasn’t good at comforting people. If I tried I’d make her feel awkward.

She stepped out of the hug and whispered in a hoarse voice, “I’m going to bed.”

I nodded. When I was done with breakfast I had a bath and went to the mall to do some grocery shopping, the fridge was devastatingly empty. It wasn’t as crowded as I thought it would be. The entire time I felt as though I was being watched.

Eventually I was done. As I loaded my shopping bags into the back of the cab I felt a thin cold iron metal on my throat - a knife.

"Don't make a scene." A throaty, alcohol drenched voice whispered harshly against the exposed skin on my nape. "Now slowly hand me your purse, lady."

My hand trembled as I searched for my empty purse. I only had a twenty and some lip gloss in it. The thought of what the man would do to me when he found my purse practically empty had the contents of my stomach launching to my throat, but I also had my credit card there, so he wouldn't be that much disappointed. My ego told me to put up a fight but the odds of getting out of that situation alive were pretty slim. I bit my trembling lip and tightened my fingers around the thin strap of my old black purse. A shiver locked my spine and I inhaled only a shallow breath and then struggled for another.

"Sir... If you could kindly step away from the lady please and drop the knife." A familiar musical voice said in a humbled calm tone with a rough edge to it.

For a few seconds there was struggling. I was too scared to turn around. Five minutes later a man not older than thirty was lying on my feet, his pale face twisted in agony and anger. My stiff muscles uncoiled themselves and relief washed over me. I jumped and turned around.

Bradley was looking at me through thin angry eyes, his nostrils were flaring, and his hands were clenched.

"You're a magnet for danger." He said through clenched teeth.

I frowned. "What-?"

"Look at the kind of men you attract."

Confused I looked up at him through my lashes. The reality of the situation settled into my brain. What if that man had killed me? I didn't think I was too grateful to Bradley that I acted mindlessly. I threw my arms around his neck forcefully. He froze under my touch and awkwardly drew uncertain circles on the small of my back.

"Go home, it's getting late." He pushed me away gently and I couldn't understand the look on his face but I was glad that he wasn't angry.

He helped me into the cab. The cabbie was frozen in terror. The poor old man looking like he just saw a ghost. When I turned back around to thank Bradley he was already walking away more than twenty feet away. I wondered if he'd run. "Thank you." I mumbled to myself even though I knew he couldn't hear me.

But strangely he turned around and I thought I saw him nod but I couldn't be sure.

When I opened my eyes Monday morning I had a strange feeling. I felt empty. I looked beside me and felt the empty spot there. It felt cold. That could only mean one thing – the stranger hadn’t come to my room last night. I groaned in horror. I missed his warmth. His scent – his devastatingly overwhelming smell. I missed feeling safe when he was by my side. And I knew that was stupid. I shouldn’t be seeking the comforting arms of a total stranger, a possible fragment of my imagination.

I jumped up to go shower before Janice used the bathroom. The woman Always left the bathroom in a pig style. I knocked on her door to see if she was up for work today, she’d already left. The whole weekend she didn’t go to work and avoided me like a plague.

I ate my cereal at a painfully slow pace. I wasn’t eager to go to school – the emptiness I felt made me lethargic. Bradley had gone back to being grim. The thought of his flawless face had something larger than butterflies crushing against the fragile walls of my stomach. Why couldn’t I get him out of my mind?

When I opened the door Cynthia, the woman Janice asked to look after Zack starting today had her hand up, about to knock. I smiled up at her and mumbled a hello. She was wrinkly and her eyes lacked life. She had four of her front teeth missing two from her bottom and two from her upper teeth. She smiled warmly at me, her thin brown hair was messy. She smelled of cheap perfume and cigarette.

"Do you drink?" I had to ask. I wouldn't leave Zack with an incapable person. What if she was too drunk and passed out and Zack needed serious medical attention?

"I only smoke." She said. "I love kids. Your mom knows that. I lost all my children, I never carried full term. And the one that I did, was born a stillborn."

I cringed and slapped myself mentally. I felt so awkward. Why did she tell me her problems? Why did I even ask her? What was I supposed to say? I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the pain you must've gone through.

"I'm so... "

She held up her hand. Her brown eyes warm. "It’s okay, honey. Go to school now. I'll see you later, yes?"

I nodded.

The rain was back this morning. I had to take ten extra minutes to get to school. I smiled. I loved this kind of weather but I wished I could stay in the comfort of my bed and sleep the whole day with an occasional break for coffee and snacks. The sky didn’t look too happy today, which worsened my mood. I hoped it wouldn’t storm. I couldn’t bear to be embarrassed in front of the whole school. I was being naïve yet no matter how hard I tried to avoid the terrifying roars of the thunder I could never block them out.

I slowed my pace further when the school came to view. Dread swept through me and my heart beat ten times faster. Today would be the worst day of my life; I felt it in every nerve of my body, Benjamin was waiting in the parking lot for me and I knew right then that my luck had again run out the window. He took me under his big brown umbrella as the rain crushed down in waves. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to act as normal as I could – given the circumstance.

I was walking through the main building, holding on tight to Benjamin in order to avoid falling, when I heard the rumbling in the sky.

Startled, I looked up. I hadn’t expected it so soon. The clouds were fighting with each other now – the sky was covered in grey – they were becoming aggressive and I continued to watch, shocked in place. Panic kicked down my spine with a chilly shiver. I couldn’t move. My muscles were frozen with terror.

As much as everything was moving fast it felt as if everything was in slow motion. The first roar sounded dangerously close and I screamed. Everything that happened after that was a bit of a blur but I remember being well aware that Benjamin was tagging my frozen body inside but to no avail. I also remember the excitement around me as screams and laughter filled my ears and I remember Bradley’s beautiful features rearranged in to a horrified expression. He was just getting out of his car and the second he saw us he was running towards the entrance. That seemed to break me out of my reverie – I struggled against Benjamin’s hold.