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CHAPTER 4

When the messenger came to him to inform him that she was awake he was happy. He wanted to ride there straight and see her face but he stopped himself. The last time he saw her, she was very angry at him.

He had never seen her mad like that before. Upsetting her was the last thing he ever wanted and yet he did. After their quarrel, she collapsed and never woke up. He blamed himself and drank wine every day to forget it all but it was impossible.

He was faking his sleep when he heard the commotion. He knew the reason the second his room was stormed by the palace’s female guards. Those guards were known to be notorious, skilled and great assassins too. They only protected one person and it meant that she was here.

He tried not to go with them but they were the best. He was in the hall when he saw her drinking her wine. She lifted her face and their gaze met each other for some seconds. Her eyes were filled with something he had never seen before.

She made an order and disappeared like that. Was she still angry with him that she couldn’t even wait for him? He was taken out of the flower house and he was escorted into the Saintess’ carriage which meant she left alone.

What if something happens to her? He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. He looked at Nora, the maid who was always around the Saintess.

“Don’t worry, she is not mad at you and she will be fine,” Nora answered the questions he didn’t even ask.

“No wonder why she keeps you around. You are very good,” he said.

“It takes practice and a lot of patience. There were times she would lock me up and punish me so harshly that I hated her. As time passed, I realized that all she did was to make me strong and I don’t hate her for that,” Nora said.

“I just seem to always disappoint her after everything she had done for me,” he blamed himself.

“Then try harder, don’t give up. You shouldn’t have stayed at the flower house though, I think she won’t forgive you easily for that,” Nora said.

“Didn’t you just say that she is not mad?”

“I did but who would be happy after witnessing all that. I guess you should start thinking of ways to make her smile when you see her,” Nora said and laughed.

He knew she was a joker and she was trying to make him feel better in a way but he knew exactly the bad things he had done. He would look for her, get down on his knees and beg for forgiveness until she forgives him.

They arrived at the palace and the first thing he did was to go to the Saintess’ room. She was not there.

“Where is she?” he asked the maids guarding the door.

“She didn’t come back, young Lord,” one of the maids replied.

Where would she be right now? He had to find her and settle with her. He left the palace and began to search for her in places she always liked to be. She wasn’t at her parents’ tomb so he went to look for her there.

He saw her from afar and ran as fast as he could. She turned around and faced him. He couldn’t read her expression at all, so he moved in closer. She was staring at the golden lotus which was in the middle of the lotus pond. He had heard some rumors of how that lotus was important to her.

According to the legend and stories that people talked about; he heard that the lotus turned gold the day the Saintess was born. To be honest, he found it very difficult to believe such stories and he didn’t have the courage to ask the Saintess about it.

He knelt on the ground the second he reached her and she kept looking at him without saying a word.

“I’m sorry for what I made you go through. I shouldn’t have quarreled with you; I should have just listened and follow your word but I was too stubborn and made you sick. I will accept any punishment from you,” he pleaded and bowed down.

She didn’t even move and he remained in that position. He wasn’t going to get up until she forgives him.

“It really pains me that you can’t even follow one simple order Xavier. If you felt sorry, why did you spend my money on those girls for all these months? Is that what I taught you? When did I teach you to be a coward? How could you disappoint me and hide in women’s skirts and wine like a man who had lost his cause?” she asked him and he could hear the anger in her.

He lifted his head and looked at her; she was really fuming with anger.

“I’m sorry, I will never do it again,” he said. He didn’t know what to say anymore, any words from him would make the situation worse.

“Your punishment will be severe. We will be leaving for the capital in two days, prepare your luggage. You won’t be riding in the carriage but you shall ride with the guards and repent for your mistakes,” she said and left him kneeling there.

He stood up and watched her back as she left. She was lenient with him, he could tell. Xavier had been staying in the palace for ten years; the Saintess found him floating on the river as if he was dead back then. She took him in, nursed him back to health and trained him.

He remembered exactly what happened back then. Someone tried to kill him and they almost succeeded. To his family he was already dead which was really painful. To think that someone plotted his assassination and gained from it made him angry but the Saintess rubbed the whole thing off.

Their fight had something to do with him wanting to revenge the people who did this to him. She told him that he wasn’t ready and he would be dead before he could do anything. He trained for a decade and yet she told him those words. It was so painful he had a huge fight with her.

She collapsed which was shocking. He didn’t know what to do at all. Ever since she collapsed, he wasn’t allowed anywhere near her room. He missed her a lot and yet he couldn’t see her. He went to the flower house to get rid of the stress and yet for every woman who served him, all he could see was her face.

He knew that the feelings he had for her was something he wouldn’t allow anyone to ever find out but he couldn’t help it. He loved her and would do anything for her and yet he failed her. He was going to become better and put a smile on her face once again.

He returned to the palace and retired to his room. He had a journey to prepare for.

“Young Lord, may I come in?” Tara his maid asked.

“Come in,” he replied.

Tara walked inside with a bowl of warm water. He washed his hands and wiped them.

“I have already prepared for your journey. Is there anything else I should pack for you?” she asked.

“No, I trust you,” he replied.

“The gown you had me prepare for the mistress is now done, do you want to go and see it?”

“Yes, take me there,” he said and stood up.

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