Lure
Fear and anxiety creeping into my dreams caused me to wake in a panic. I should have been dreaming of sunbathing on white sand with clear water as far as the eye can see. Instead, I dreamed we woke up naked on a boat lost at sea.
I rubbed my face, hoping Jenny had planned a quiet and relaxing trip. Somewhere that took us away from the bustling city life and let us unwind. My ticket was already booked, so it was not like she was giving me a choice.
Jenny liked adventure and planned to wait until her 30s to settle down. I am unsure if I ever wanted to settle down again because the first time ended in a disaster. Maybe this trip will help me lose myself and live on the edge.
Mid-twenties and divorced are not great attributes for a dating profile. Thankful that Jared and I did not have any children. I could not imagine co-parenting with him. That thought makes me cringe.
Not having a biological mother as a child helped me decide that I do not want children. Children are a lifelong commitment, and I am sure I would suck. Now, if I could keep myself from falling in love, I could save myself from having that conversation with a guy.
Jenny had the right idea, not settling down until after thirty. That should have been my plan. Now I need the courage to make a new plan to follow. Like giving myself the next five years to live out my wildest dreams... first, I need to find some wild dreams.
I have no clue what I want or what path to follow. Something has to change. I have to change. If not then, I will end up a cat-loving spinster.
My life consists of work, hanging out at home in my pajamas, or going to the café. It is rare for the café to get lit on Friday nights, so I had no plans on meeting adventurous people there. Maybe I will join Jenny on her escapade to sleep with every guy in New York, then disappear from embarrassment when I snap back to reality.
I could always move far away and start over in a place where no one knew my past. Jenny kept me tied to New York, but my heart and soul longed to be somewhere else. Too many bad memories attached to seeing my ex daily.
Jenny came barging into my room and jumped onto my bed. She was always overly excited and seemed to roll with the punches. Seriously jealous of her carefree life.
"Girl, get up. Time for shots before we go! One for you and 3 for me!”, she had a bottle and two little necklace glasses for us.
No part of me wanted to wear a symbol that symbolized feed me alcohol, but I did it for her. And a little for myself.
“Time to ditch this life for a new one! At least for a few days.” Jenny said as she poured a round.
“Oh no, no, there is no way that I can handle all this liquor. And you want me to drink at the airport? What are you trying to do? Are we supposed to remember any of this trip? Are you going to drag me all the way to the resort?” I rambled.
“Stop with the questions! Don’t make me say it. You know I will go there.” Jenny retorted with a sassy attitude and a hand on her hip.
I knew what she would say, so I passed on a rebuttal. She loved calling me a negative Nancy. Knowing it made my blood boil to prove her wrong.
"Come on now, you have been depressed far too long. It is time to move on with someone new. This trip is closing that chapter of your life!", she smiled.
"It's not easy to just close it, Jenny. I loved him. He was my first and only love.", I really did need to snap out of this.
"Have some drinks and relax. Who knows? You may even meet some sexy hunk at the resort! Now shots, shots, shots!", she knew how to pep-talk me.
Did I mention that Jenny was an avid drinker? Not me. But I was happy to oblige in the spirit of fun and freedom. We took 3 more shots and set off outside, where we hailed a cab to take us to the airport.
It did not take long to get a cab in the city, especially at this time of the day. Cab drivers pull over for two girls standing on the average curb, especially in front of my apartment building.
I did well for myself and wanted a nice place to live, so I joined the mile-long waitlist for an apartment at the prestigious Vanity High-rise complex. It was close to work, the business district, and shopping.
Everything was within walking distance, so what I saved on a car and insurance went toward my rent. Jenny also helped since she slept over 4-5 nights a week. I made enough to spend and invest in a life worth living.
It was a quick ride to the airport with the usual sights, like tall skyscrapers and people walking to get somewhere fast. We slid out of the backseat while the cab driver took our bags to the Delta baggage check outside. Jenny had checked us in on the drive over and downloaded some e-tickets.
Still unsure of where we were going. Now I am starting to worry we may end up in a shack in the middle of an island off the coast of Mexico. Then again, being kidnapped would be better than living a mundane life.
We made it through the TSA checkpoint in record time because we joined in with the flow of moving foot traffic. People really do walk very fast here. Good thing Jenny had us sign up for a TSA Pre-check. It was nice to be able to keep my shoes on and skip the wait.
I noticed that international airports are a lot bigger than regular ones. I had only flown one other time. That was when Jared took me away from our hometown and moved us to New York.
Walking through the bustling airport, I kept looking at all the shops as we walked toward the food court. Restaurants, shops, and bars. Jenny pulled us into this little gentleman's bar. It was dimly lit with rich, dark wood all around. It was giving me 1920s vibes and cigar lounge fumes.
There was a bar in the middle, and scattered around were small coffee tables surrounded by four red leather chairs each. The bartender even wore a flat hat and had a handlebar mustache. It was not very busy, and it looked like no women frequented the place.
While it was a quiet and smokey atmosphere, something gave me a chill. Almost like I was being watched. It felt like eyes were roaming my body and studying my every move.
I looked around, and there were only a few men. None that I could see looking directly at me. Unsure of what direction it was coming from, but it provoked a heated and sensual vibe within me. We walked past a few men, and they went from talking to silent, acting as if we were the plague or here to commit corporate espionage.
The heated feeling came and went as we sat at one of the little tables. I kept looking around because there had to be someone in the room watching me. Yet nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
The men were either drinking their bourbon neat, ruffling through files, or puffing on a cigar with closed eyes as if that was the best thing they had put in their mouths this week. Unable to shake that heated feeling the entire time.
We were far from dressed to attract a man but very comfortable in our travel clothing. I dressed down on purpose because dressing like a bum ensured we didn't pick up men at the airport. Whoever was staring at me was probably wondering why I was in a nice bar in athleticwear.
There was not much time to kill. Just long enough to have a few drinks and catch up on Jenny’s latest hookup series. I was happy to leave but annoyed that she still would not tell me where we were going.
As we walked up to gate C48, Cancun was displayed on the screen and in bold letters. I tried remembering the internet search to gauge where we were going, but it was time to board. Once we slipped into our economy seats, I set myself up for a nap.
It was supposed to be a long flight. The total time from boarding to landing would be several hours. I would have brought my laptop, but Jenny told me to watch the men, not my work. She really wanted me to break out of this shell.
Nudging Jenny, “I hope we have a good pilot because I heard others saying there will be a lot of turbulence.”.
“Leah, relax babe. I fly all the time. Trust the pilot.”, she assured me.
“My heart is racing, and I feel like I am being watched.”, I hinted at my feeling.
“I know what you need!”, she leaned in to whisper in my ear.
“What?”, I asked, hoping for a cure to my fears.
“Find whoever is watching you, take them to the bathroom, and bang it out.”, she giggled.
“Oh my gosh, what?! I can not do that.”, I gasped.
“Sure, you can. An orgasm is proven to cure anxiety. Trust me.”, she wiggled back down in the seat, smiling.
Stunned at her words, I still felt like I was being watched as passengers boarded. It was that same intense heat, but I shook it off as pre-flying jitters. Maybe Jenny was right, but I couldn’t possibly lure a person to the bathroom for sex… could I?