Chapter 5

Coffee with Marcus was great, but it was more than enough energy I had to expend on anyone today. I needed to be alone. And so, I found myself in Central Park on a nice bench by the lake, my journal in hand, tapping my pen against my temple.

Cut off Mother for good?

When to confront Emily?

Continue helping Aubrey?

Dinner?

“I gotta cut down on takeout.” I sighed to myself and stared at the ducks squawking in the distance and getting in the lake.

“Decisions, decisions,” came a dramatic sigh by my shoulder and I screamed, causing the ducks to screech and flutter their wings in panic, soaking any unfortunate passerby with a spray of water.

“Jesus Christ, Lilith!” Cristo gasped, having run away to the other side of the bench and grabbing his chest, but then he smirked. “Should I say those names in the same breath?”

I rolled my eyes as he straightened and stared up at the sky, making the sign of the cross and putting his palms together. My face felt warm, although I wasn’t sure why.

“You think that’s an apology enough for God?”

“What do you want, Cristo?”

“I just remembered God isn’t the only one I have to apologize to.” He grinned at me.

I gave him a dubious look.

Is this guy right in the head?

“You’re totally judging me,” he stated blankly and groaned while jabbing his hands into his pockets. “Look, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I shouldn’t have dropped you.”

“Better late than never, I guess...” I replied dismissively and put my journal away. “But why do I get the sense that you’re stalking me?”

“Stalking you?” He chuckled and crossed his arms. He looked nice outside the formal events I normally saw him at. He was dressed in black fitted jeans and a black T-shirt, paired with a short-sleeved white button up left open. His Nike shoes were very…interesting. It hurt my eyes. A dark-gray backpack hung on his shoulder, hair casually parted to the side, and he was even wearing round glasses. Very nerdy.

It was kind of cute.

Extremely cute, actually.

“We could’ve done this on Monday in my office. Not in the middle of the day at Central Park.”

“I was on my way to the orphanage site, Lilith.” He rolled his eyes, smirking. “I saw you and decided to take a future task off my agenda. Anyway, if I had to stalk someone, it would be the construction manager.”

“I wasn’t aware you swung that way.”

“I swear to god you’re just fucking with me at this point,” he deadpanned, but sighed and dropped down next to me. “I suspect him of overestimating the funds to rake in some illicit gains.”

He was sitting rather close, almost touching my shoulder. My heart rate spiked from his proximity, which was a little confusing, because what the hell could that mean? His presence shouldn’t do that to me.

The breeze carried his cologne over to me and he smelled rather nice. Like freshly mown grass. I looked over at him, a little confused that such a male scent existed until I noticed grass stains on his sleeves. Had he been rolling around on the ground?

“And that’s why you’re dressed like a teenage TikToker in broad daylight?”

He stared at me from beneath his glasses perched low on his nose, stormy gray eyes piercing into my soul quite literally and making my heart skip a beat. “I’ll take that as a compliment, thank you very much.”

“Very convincing cover.” I shook my head and looked away, trying to hold back my smile. What was with him, and why was he being like this? I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me laugh in the slightest. I knew I should let things go for his stupidity yesterday, but I had a hard time not holding grudges.

Once upon a time, I was too forgiving a person and look where that had landed me...

“Hey, umm…” he exhaled nervously, “I never apologized for what happened all those years ago. Not properly, at least. I was a dumb kid and should’ve just gone along with the session. I heard you failed the assignment.”

I almost snapped my neck turning to look at him. “How do you know that?”

“I’ve been in touch with Mrs. Beaumont for a while.” He shrugged cheekily. “Don’t tell my parents, though, please. They’ll blow up on me for keeping secrets.”

“Whoa, wait, does that mean you were in touch with the Dupont kids, too?”

“You already know them,” he said in a cheerful tone as he pushed himself to stand. “Just…don’t tell Mrs. Beaumont about that. Or my parents. Getting my dad’s family back together was…totally not my scheme.”

“I’m guessing The Parent Trap is your favorite movie.”

“You’re frighteningly insightful. Good day!”

Cristo rushed off, leaving me alone on the bench feeling extremely confused.

I muttered under my breath, “What the fuck?”

The loneliness was so overwhelmingly loud when I walked inside the house around sunset. It emanated from the walls quite literally. The apartment, although a small studio, felt so big. Usually, this would weigh on my chest and make me feel like I couldn’t breathe, but I kept thinking about the park. And laughing.

I was kind of funny, wasn’t I?

While the walls decorated with paintings and shelves still complained about the emptiness in the air, it didn’t feel so obvious anymore. I’d had a pretty good day with both Marcus and Cristo.

As I walked toward the phone and played the voicemail on reflex, I knew nothing in that moment could take today’s satisfaction away from me.

“Lilian, please pick up the phone. I’m so sorr—”

Beep.

Nothing at all, I thought as I shut off my mother’s voice immediately.