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She would do anything for Zane

Calliope

Sitting at the vanity, I met my gaze in the mirror. It is a bit more difficult to do than it was yesterday. I will have to be quick on my feet tonight.

I had been prepared to stay only because my father wouldn’t accept any other outcome regarding this visit. He has my trunk packed and loaded on the coach. If I had not been welcomed here, he would have left me on the side of the road. Me and

Zane. How can he not love Zane? An innocent baby caught in a web of deceit.

I fight not to think about it as the girl the princess has sent to me works to arrange my unruly hair. It behaves much better when it is bound tightly, although I can’t deny that the maid’s skillful hands are hiding its imperfections.

With the Dragon prince and his mother vouching for my safety and the return of my good name, my father has taken his leave as though the matter was settled. When it isn’t. Far from it. Still I do feel safe here. More importantly, Zane is safe here. I had seen the way the princess had looked at the baby. She loves him already. He is incredibly easy to love.

He has taken that attribute from his father. Although I can’t deny that he is very different from the cocky young man I had first seen at the war Hospital. But then I have changed as well. It is Zane who has made me feel like myself again. After what I had experienced, what I had witnessed, I had thought I would never smile again.

But he makes me smile. At first it had been only a small smile, but it had widened with each passing day as I have watched Zane grow, as I have held him near, as I have seen him marvel at the world surrounding him. Eventually, he will become more adventuresome and I want to experience those moments with him. I want to teach him to climb a tree, as unladylike as it is. I want to watch him master his first horse. I want to watch him become a man and a dragon to be reckoned with. Like his father.

When the maid finished with my hair, I carefully step into the pale green gown. I have worn nothing but black in two years. It had seemed somehow important, as though the somber color would reflect the seriousness of my purpose. But tonight, it is far more important that I catch Major Dragan’s eyes, that I do all in my power to ensure he accepts me into his life. For Zane's sake.

Green has always flattered me, it accentuates the red of my hair. The harsh red had made me easy to spot as I had walked among the wounded men. They had begun to refer to me as the Red Angel.

To my shame, my reason for going with Lady S had not been entirely altruistic. I had no marriage prospects and I had foolishly hoped that I might meet someone who would fancy me. I even had a romantic notion that I would be wiping the brow of a wounded soldier, and as we gazed into each other’s eyes, love would immediately

blossom.

But love is far from a man's mind when he is retching, shivering, unable to control the simplest of bodily functions.

There is no romance when a man loses a limb and is wallowing in pain. The soft words spoken were all mine, to give comfort when illness reduced a man to a shell of his former self, until he faded away to nothing. I had forced myself to withhold tears because knowing the moment they started flowing, I would have no success at stopping them. I had loved every man in my ward, but it had not been the emotion written about in romance novels or sonnets.

It had been a love born of gratitude for service to my country, a desire to ease the suffering, to grant comfort. I had begun my journey as an idealistic young woman in search of adventure and the attention of men. But I had quickly fallen into the routine of serving a greater good, until my own needs mattered not at all, until what I had been had ceased to exist and a woman I barely knew began to inhabit my skin. And then the night when my world tumbled …

Once again, I look in the mirror as the maid adjusts the sleeves of my gown, my petticoats, and my skirts. I should tell Zac Dragan everything but by doing so I would risk losing Zane.

“Thank you. That’s all I require at this time," I say with a smile to the maid, dismissing her.

Once the girl has left, I walk over to the bassinet that the princess has somehow managed to secure for me. Zane is laying there, sucking on his tiny balled fist in slumber. I need to summon the wet nurse I had hired and who accompanies me wherever I go with Zane. Jeanette had traveled with me and my father in the coach. While we had our audience with the dragon Prince and his mother, Jeanette had been served tea in the kitchen.

When it had become apparent that Major Dragan wished that I should stay, my hosts had provided the wet nurse with a bed in the servants’ quarters. Jeanette had lost her baby and husband to cholera. She had been only too willing to leave her home country, and I had welcomed the help she would provide with Zane. I had known very little about caring for an infant, but I had been determined that nothing would separate me from Zane.

He is holding me together, keeping the nightmares at bay. I know it isn't fair to place such a heavy burden on an innocent, but I can’t bear the thought of never again holding him, looking upon his beloved face, caressing his soft cheek.

If marriage to Zac Dragan is required to ensure that I can remain with Zane, then I will do all in my power to secure that marriage.

Even if it means that I will never reveal the entire truth about Zane, even if it requires that I spend eternity burning in the fires of hell.

Nothing is too great a sacrifice. Nothing.

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