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His plan

Nick

Darting in front of him just as he reaches for the latch, I cut him off, “Touch that door and I’ll lay you flat.”

Tom glares at me. “I refuse to let you do this.”

“You may be of a higher rank and older, but this matter does not concern you.”

Shaking his head, Tom squares his jaw, “It bloody well does concern us. Zac, inform him that he’s a fool and cannot do this.”

“Unfortunately, I agree with him."

Clearly stunned, Tom twists around. The man whom he had mistakenly believed to be his ally is sitting with one hip perched on the edge of the desk, glass of scotch in hand. “You don’t think this is a bad idea?"

“I’m convinced it’s the worst idea a wolf has had since one decided to go to war with the vampires. But he’s correct. It’s not our business, and we don’t have a say in the matter.”

Tom huffs, “You might not care about Julia, but I do.”

“But if Nick has the right of it and telling her causes her to lose the baby, the last gift Noah will ever bestow upon her, how will you feel then?” Zac points out.

Tom’s shoulders slumping slightly, he steps back, “I loved Noah like a brother.”

“But like a brother is not the same as being a brother,” Zac says. “Not to mention neither of us was there when Noah drew his last breath. We didn’t hear his final words nor did we witness the desperation that might have laced them.”

Be me, he had gasped. Be me. I had never realized how much power two small words, four letters, could hold.

“Do you have to always be so bloody logical?” Tom asks.

Zac raises his glass, “I wouldn’t complain if I were you. My being logical contributed to you gaining your wife.”

Shaking his head, Tom turns his attention back to me, “Have you truly thought this through? How far along is she? Somewhere between seven and eight months? You’re looking at several weeks of pretending to love Julia when the two of you have never gotten along, when all of werewolf society knows you can hardly stand to be in the same room with her,” He says, getting to the crux of what he surely believes is the challenge I have set for myself.

If only it was that uncomplicated. After that blasted, ill-conceived kiss in the garden years ago, she has never taken kindly to me, and has barely tolerated my presence. Not that I blame her. During the intervening years, my behavior had been less than exemplary. “I have considered it from every angle.”

Balling his hands into fists, Tom scowls, “I can see nothing but disaster on the horizon if you follow this course.”

“Disaster on the horizon I can deal with when it arrives. My concern presently is avoiding disaster before the baby arrives. I know it won’t be easy … the past ten days have been horrendous, trying to behave around her as Noah would, and I know I’ve not managed completely because she studies me as though I’m a puzzle with a piece that doesn’t quite fit. So far, I believe, Julia has kindly chalked my odd behavior and requests for solitude up to my grief. Yet I know I can’t use that excuse much longer, so I need to know what gave me away. How did you deduce it was me and not Noah wandering around today?"

“I don’t know that I can help you with this," Tom says. “Deceit does not sit well with me.”

“And you think it sits well with me?” I ask, the pain and agony from weeks of deliberation, guilt, and doubt slicing through my voice. “I convinced him to go with me because I selfishly wanted one last trip together. I wanted him to put me before her. And it cost him his life. All I can do now is strive to ensure it doesn’t cost him his child. It’s all that’s left of my brother. I would have given anything to be the one we laid in the vault this afternoon. But that I cannot change. So I am left with only the ability to keep my promise to him. No matter the cost, no matter how mad it seems, I know no other way to ensure Julia does not lose this child. So help me. If you truly loved Noah as you claim, then help me.”

With a deep sigh, Tom walks to the sideboard and pours himself a generous amount of scotch, “We’ve known you since you were seven. While your looks are identical, your mannerisms are not. You don’t rub your right ear.”

“Ah, damn, yes," I do so now, pulling on it until it hurts. When he was five, Noah had lost hearing in that ear after I shoved him into a frigid pond. Afterward, it pained him from time to time and he would rub it, especially when he was contemplating a matter … usually trying to determine the best way to bring me to task for some misconduct.

“And you toss back far too much scotch, far too quickly," Zac says. “I don’t suppose you’ve stopped doing that.”

“No, but I only do it after she’s gone to bed."

Tom narrows his eyes. “You don’t go to bed with her?"

“God, why would I? I’m certainly not going to cuckold my brother even if he is dead.”

“I can’t speak for Noah, but whether or not I make love to my wife, I sleep with her nestled within my arms.”

“Because you’re disgustingly in love,” I point out.

“So was he."

I shake my head, “They have separate bedchambers. I’m safe there.”

Tom tilts his head. “So do we.”

With a harsh curse, I fill my glass to the brim with more scotch, walk over to the seating area by the fire,and drop into a comfortable chair. Surely, Julia would have said something if I was supposed to be in her bed. Unless she is crediting my absence as a need to grieve alone. How long before my odd behavior causes her to worry, adds strain to the situation, burdens her until I cause exactly what I am trying to prevent?

Tom and Zac join me, taking nearby chairs. Neither appears pleased to be there but at least they are no longer looking at me as though I am as mad as the Alpha of the marshes.

I stare into the writhing flames of the fire, imagining my eternity will be spent thrashing about in the ones ignited in Hell. “I thought about staying in the dark lands, sending her a telegram with an excuse for our delay, but I knew Noah would haunt me if I left her alone as her time carrying his child neared an end. I’m well versed in the dead haunting the living.”

“My mother’s ghost screeching over the moors is nothing but my father’s madness,” Zac says.

“Still, I grew up with it,” I glance over at the two men who have always been like brothers. “Do you know if Noah had a special endearment for Julia?”

Both men blink, look at each other, and seem at a loss for words. Finally, Tom says, “He’s the sort who would have had one, but I never heard him call her anything other than Julia.”

“Neither did I," Zac admits. “It was probably saved for intimate moments."

Bloody hell. I had such confidence that I could adequately imitate my brother, but they are unveiling countless things I had never considered. In the short term, I have succeeded. In the long term, it is going to require more awareness and effort. “I haven’t sorted through his things. Merely packed them up." I have had both my trunk and Noah’s placed in the bedchamber that had been mine when I visited. To be gone through later. “Perhaps I’ll find a letter he penned that can provide some answers.” A letter possibly unfinished that would tear at my gut. Death leaves much undone.

“Have you contemplated …" Tom begins slowly, tapping his finger against his half-empty glass, “ … That you are going to have to abstain completely from any sexual encounters? Considering your past and your appetites, that’s going to create quite the challenge, which I honestly don’t know if you’re up to meeting. But should she hear of you fornicating about, thinking it is Noah being unfaithful to her, that could very well cause her to lose the baby”.

“I considered that and I plan to be as chaste as a monk,” I release a self-deprecating laugh. “It might not be as hard as you imagine. None of my previous conquests were here today. And some of them were ranked she-wolves”. I had noticed their absence, along with the absence of tears. Not a single one shed for Nick. Christ, attending one’s own funeral is an incredibly humbling experience.

“Nick ….”

“Greystorm,” I say, cutting off Zac. “If my ruse is to have any chance at all of succeeding, you must both acknowledge me as the Alpha of Greystorm, call me either Greystorm or Grey, as you did Noah when it wasn’t only us about. Except now you must do it even when we’re alone. Lest you slip when we’re not." And I need to stop thinking of myself as Nick. In manner, thought, and deed, I have to become the Alpha of Greystorm. At least until Julia delivers the heir.

Then I will be obliged to do what I do best: give her another reason to hate me by revealing the truth, breaking her heart, and shattering her world.

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