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Chapter 1

ONE

Abbie Harper wound

her way through the crowded walkway as shop lights began to glow in the settling dusk. In an hour, New York’s Bryant Park would resemble a life-sized Christmas village, with clear glass kiosks aglow with holiday lighting, and shop after shop offering comfort food and hot drinks for meandering shoppers.

Phone to ear, Abbie said, “I can’t see you. Oh—there you are!” She promptly waved as she spied Taylor Hillman sitting alone at a table near the ice skating rink.

Abbie plopped down on the wood slat chair and wrinkled her brow. “I’m so sorry I’m late. You shouldn’t have waited for me.”

“Part of the joy of indulging in Max Brenner’s hot chocolate is sharing the guilt with someone you love.” Taylor grinned and stood up. “Save my seat.”

“Wait.” Abbie dug through her bag for her wallet.

“I got this.” And Taylor was gone.

With a quick glance at her messages and email, Abbie tucked her phone back into her valise then pulled out the brief she’d spent all afternoon writing. She made some notes in the margins and exhaled as she crossed out several sentences, then scribbled a few words to insert.

“You’re still working?”

Abbie looked up to find Taylor was back with two cups in her hands. Abbie shuffled the papers together and tucked them back into her bag.

“Wait, hold that thought,” Taylor said, sitting down. “Ready?” They both took a sip of hot chocolate and sighed in unison.

“That taste is a Christmas miracle,” Abbie said as she leaned back and closed her eyes for a moment.

Taylor looked about at the holiday lights with eyes that shone nearly as much—until her eyes settled on Abbie’s satchel. “So what’s with the papers? You do know we’re off for the holidays, right?”

Abbie rolled her eyes. “Bradley dropped it on my desk just before lunch—a case I know nothing about—and he asked me to write a brilliant brief—yes, he said ‘brilliant’—and have it on his desk by the end of today.”

Taylor curled her upper lip. “And by ‘end of today,’ he meant—”

“No, no—not the work day, if that’s what you’re thinking, ’cause that was never going to happen.”

“But it’s Christmas Eve

Eve

.” Taylor practically pouted.

Abbie lifted her eyes and leveled a look at her best friend and shrugged. “If I want to make partner…”

Taylor looked at her with empathy but said nothing. There was nothing she could say. She and Abbie had started at the firm together, fresh out of their respective law schools, but Taylor had made partner last year, while Abbie was still slogging along as an associate. Abbie couldn’t disagree with the firm. Taylor was perfect—smart, charming, and also gorgeous. When she walked into a room, it took mere minutes before she was surrounded by people, through no effort or awareness on her part. How could anyone not enjoy being around her? She was fun and clever—and brilliant under pressure. She deserved her success. On top of it all, she was everything Abbie could want in a friend. Their friendship was one of the few things Abbie had not had to work hard for. They had met on their first day at work and had been there for each other ever since.

Taylor took another sip of hot chocolate and savored the moment. After a sigh, she said, “So you’re not going on the cruise with your parents?”

“Parents, as in my mother and step-father? No, Team Mom and Doug are a lot to take at any time of year—but at Christmas? Nope.” She shook her head and made a face that drew a good laugh from Taylor. “Besides, a cruise is not Christmas for me, so—just no, I’m not going. I thanked them profusely for inviting me, but I think they were secretly happy it worked out this way. Now they can slobber all over each other’s faces without the buzzkill of my spewing up yesterday’s breakfast.”

Taylor shrugged. “You could blame it on motion sickness.”

Abbie lifted a brow. “I guess so. There is motion involved, and it does make me sick.”

Taylor laughed, but with sympathy in her eyes. “Why don’t you come home with me for Christmas in Harlem with my family? You know they love you.”

“And I love them. I’ll never forget my first Christmas in New York. Your family was so kind to me—and that brownstone—evergreens wound down the banister, candles, a fire—it was perfect!” Abbie smiled. Since then, Taylor’s family had treated her like part of their family—sometimes more than her own. She tried not to dwell on that. “Maybe when I get back I’ll stop by, if they’ll still have me.”

Taylor’s brow creased. “So you’re going to do it?”

Abbie gave a confident nod. “Yes, I’ve rented a cabin, and I’m going.”

“Alone?”

“Yes,” Abbie said brightly. She pulled out her phone and tilted it so Taylor could see. “Look at this. It’s greeting card perfect.”

Taylor shook her head slowly. “It is pretty, but it’s so remote.”

“I know! Isn’t it perfect? If anyone from the office tries to reach me, there won’t be a signal—at least that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.”

“What if you need to reach somebody?”

“I won’t. But if I do, I’m sure there’ll be some sort of phone—probably with a hand crank and an ear piece.”

Taylor studied her friend with concern. “Well, if you get lonely up there in your Christmas cabin, you can always change your mind and come to my house.”

Abbie set down her empty cup. “Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“The offer’s open. Just think of me as your back-up plan.” Taylor offered a caring smile.

It was growing dark as they emerged from the park and merged with the people walking briskly along the crowded sidewalk on their way home from work. The park was beginning to look its most magical. The two women hugged, exchanged Christmas wishes, and parted ways.

Abbie had taken a few steps when Taylor called out and pointed in the opposite direction. “Are you lost? You live that way.”

Abbie winced. “He wants a hard copy on his desk.”

“God forbid he’d have to print it himself.”

Abbie shrugged. “It’s okay. If I took the file home, I’d have to return it before I left. So, this way, I can finish and walk away for a week.”

“And when’s that going to happen?”

Abbie shrugged. “I’ve just got a little more work to do.”

Taylor nodded. “A little more work. That means—what—ten, eleven o’clock tonight?”

Abbie gave her a look of mixed sadness and guilt. “If I’m lucky.”

Taylor’s eyes narrowed. “Get some sleep before you start driving tomorrow.”

“I will.” She gave Taylor another hug. “Merry Christmas.”

Taylor grasped Abbie’s shoulders and looked at her sternly. “You, too. And promise me you’ll call if you have second thoughts.”

Abbie smiled. “Thanks, Taylor. I won’t, but it’s nice to know you’d be there if I did.”

With one more round of holiday wishes, they parted. Abbie turned toward the office, while Taylor headed for the subway that would take her home.

At least one of them could begin their holiday. Once more, Abbie was reminded of how she’d always had to work harder to get what she wanted, like the little kid pedaling fast to keep up with the big kids. She couldn’t help it—she didn’t like it, but she did it. She’d built her life, such as it was, on hard work and deferred gratification. Currently on the deferred list were, one, making partner at the law firm and, two, having a life.

With a sigh, she rounded the corner just in time to see Bradley Maguire—

dammit

—walk out of the building. She ducked into a shadowy storefront while he tossed his silky blond hair in the wind and went to the curb, where he raised his starched cuff into the air, and a taxi appeared out of nowhere just for him, so it seemed. Abbie sighed. Crisis averted. She just wasn’t in the mood for another round of “Merry Christmas—and enjoy toiling away at the work I just dumped on your desk.”

Bradley Effing Maguire (or FM, as she and Taylor called him—a code name just in case they were ever overheard grumbling about him in the office) had been her first and last ever fling—office or otherwise. (She was not good at casual sex.) And now he was her boss. That wasn’t too awkward.

They’d been working

on a case together, and FM—well, back then he was Brad—had just won. They went out to a neighborhood bar with some others to celebrate, and the celebration had dwindled down to the two of them. Until then, there had been some sexual tension between them—a lingering glance here and there, a shared moment while they pored over a document a little too closely. A few drinks and the thrill of their legal win brought it up to the surface, like scum on a pond.

He’d been talking. He was always the one doing most of the talking. The man knew his strengths, listening not being among them. But this one time, he just stopped. His eyes locked on hers, and everything grew still. He leaned closer. They kissed. And then the room exploded—or was that her ovaries?—with music and motion. He paid the check and helped her don her coat, and before the hour was up, they were out of a cab and inside her tiny apartment, ripping each other’s clothes off like you see in the movies. A few hours later, he kissed her on the forehead and left—like a vampire that couldn’t be caught in the daylight (with her). And that was the beginning and end of the affair.

The next day, FM cornered her in the hallway with his signature smile and said, “Let’s not make this awkward.”

That was a sure guarantee that it was going to be.

FM glanced up while two people walked out of a room and headed the opposite way down the hall. With the coast once again clear, he said, “Look, it happened. But we have to work together, you know? We’re both grownups. There’s no reason we can’t move on from here.”

Of course Abbie nodded and shrugged. Of course.

And they did. He moved on as though nothing had happened, and she moved on, wincing whenever she recalled that it had.

Everyone had regrets, Abbie reminded herself, so this deep stomach churning and gnawing was perfectly normal. Doing stupid things was just part of life. So she’d add this to a file drawer marked Never Again and then try to confine all future thoughts on the topic to that drawer.

At 9:17 p.m.—well

ahead of Taylor’s prediction, thank you very much—Abbie saved the legal brief to the cloud then printed and aligned the page edges into a perfect stack, attached a binder clip, and set the legal brief and the accordion case file on FM’s desk, front and center. With a satisfied sigh, she then walked through the glass doorway with her chin high and her shoulders eased of their burden of work—for a few days, at least.

Outside, the lit storefronts and streets looked magical as she made her way along the twenty-five blocks to her apartment. She called this “going to the gym,” since she didn’t have the time or inclination to work out.

She lived in a tiny renovated efficiency apartment. This was real estate secret code. Each time a New York City apartment building was renovated, the apartments were subdivided like some sort of residential mitosis. By midcentury, people would be living in something akin to MRI tubes. It was just a theory, but a viable one. Abbie’s apartment had hardwood floors and a large window that looked out at a larger brick wall next door. Sunlight sometimes made its way in on bright, sunny mornings.

Once home, she locked the two dead bolt locks then slipped out of her clothes and into a large, worn-out tee shirt. Nine hours later, which included a rare thing called sleep, she was up, packed, and in a rental car crossing over the Henry Hudson Bridge on her way to her perfect Christmas Cabin in the Adirondack Mountains of upstate New York.

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