Chapter 8 - Regret

‘What did you call me?’ he asked quietly, his grip becoming painfully tight that I let out a small whimper of discomfort. He looks at me suddenly, frowning at the sound as if seeing me for the first time. His grip loosens but he doesn’t let go of me.

‘Did I hurt you?’ he asks quietly. I say nothing, for some reason I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye, so I continue to stare straight in front of me at his chest.

I feel his hand release my left arm and he gently places his hand under my chin and forces my face upwards to meet his gaze. I meet his eyes and stop breathing, my earlier anger forgotten. He doesn’t look angry, his gaze is… conflicted.

‘Did I hurt you?’ he repeats softly, holding my gaze. I shake my head, which was made more difficult as he kept gentle hold of my head.

‘What is it about you?’ he asks. He seems to be talking more to himself than me, so I keep quiet. My body feels on fire from the heat in his gaze, it scorches me to the core. He leans further into me, his entire frame pressing me into the wall of the house so that no space if left between us. My heart hammers in my chest as he brings his face towards mine, he takes his time, so that I have the choice to push him away. I don’t, logically I know I should, this is the man who stole me away from my life, but I’m surrounded by him and for the first time in my life, I feel a complete sense of belonging.

His lips touch mine, soft but sure and I gasp at the rush of sensation. It’s like a lightening bolt that travels through my entire body down to my toes. He takes full advantage of my open mouth, and his tongue plunders my mouth as his teeth nip at my lips. His hands move from my arms to my hips, and he roughly pulls me tighter to him, letting me feel the long, hard ridge of his erection. I ran my hands through his hair, using it to pull him closer to me, he growls low in his throat which apparently has a direct line to my pussy, making it throb almost painfully. We kiss so long that we’re panting and gasping for air, neither one of us willing to end it first. Eventually after a few more minutes of frenzied passion, he drags his lips from mine and lays his forehead against mine.

I desperately drag air into my lungs, bracing my hands on his chest like life support. I tilt my head to look up at him to find him gazing at me intently, his eyes burn with heat.

‘I -,’ I stammer, unsure what I want to say.

‘You don’t need to say anything,’ he says quietly, slowly shaking his head as if to wake himself out of a stupor.

‘It was my fault; I shouldn’t have attacked you like that. I don’t know what I was thinking,’ he continues solemnly.

‘You should go inside,’ he says releasing me and taking a large step back from me, putting distance between us.

I can feel my eyes and throat burn with the sting of his rejection and shame. Suddenly I feel incredibly shy and embarrassed. I don’t know why it hurts; I don’t even know him. Before I let him see how affected I am, I turn on my heel and run inside the house, passing Chase and Michael who both give me knowing glances but don’t comment. I take the stairs two at a time, shutting the door to my room harder than necessary and through myself down on the bed, covering my face with one of the pillows. What the hell is the matter with me? I don’t know how long I lay there, frustrated and confused, my thoughts constantly replaying that moment with Bryant when my eyelids become heavy, and I fall into a fitful sleep.

The murmur of heated voices wakes me from my impromptu nap, rubbing my eyes which feel gritty again, from yet more crying I pad quietly over to my door and open it as quietly as possible to be able to hear what the guys are talking about in my absence. I sneak my way down the hall, leaning into the wall for support, careful not to creak any of the floorboards until I reach the top of the stairs where I crouch down quietly to listen.

‘What the ever-living fuck are you thinking, Bry?’ Michael asks in a low voice, but his eyes betray his fury. He’s pacing around the kitchen like a caged bear, his agitation clear.

‘Don’t think he’s thinking much with his brain right now Mikey,’ Chase chortles while Michaels shoots daggers at him with his eyes, Chase doesn’t seem to mind, he just sighs and rolls his eyes dramatically.

‘Never get attached,’ Michael continues hotly as if Chase hadn’t spoken. ‘It’s your rule, and you’ve never broken it, not once. So why now?’ he asks. Even Chase has stopped laughing and is looking at Bryant now with a curious expression.

‘I… I don’t know,’ he finishes lamely, looking away from his teammates, his face scrunched with confusion. My breathing hitched in my chest and my throat felt constricted, but I couldn’t make myself leave my hiding spot.

‘You need to steer clear of her, Bry,’ Michaels states sternly, leaving no room for argument. ‘You can’t keep her.’

Bryant heaved a sigh, his gaze to the floor.

‘Yeh, I know.’

Chase and Michael went back to their various pastimes, the conversation clearly over while Bryant continued to stare at the floor a few moments longer, his gaze hard before striding through the door to the team’s office just off the living room and closing the door harder than necessary.

With a sigh, I start to get to my feet, raising my eyes I realise I’ve been caught. Michael’s hawk eyes have spied my hiding spot from downstairs. His stare is unreadable, and he gazes up at me. His stare has caught Chases attention, who follows his line of sight.

‘Shit,’ he exclaims.

Unable to stand their judgement on my fucked-up situation, I turn on my heel and run down the corridor to my room, slamming the door behind me. I brace my back to the door, breathing heavily, my face heating with humiliation at my own stupidity. I’m his prisoner I chant to myself mentally, over and over, willing myself to remember the reality of my situation. I can’t afford to let myself feel anything for Bryant.