Memories
"What's wrong Lea? Why are you surprised?" Eveline steps up to me still can't believe what happened here and everything she said.
I was speechless, I really didn't expect it to be so difficult to survive alone when you don't have a family that can help you.
"Mom-" I thought. Suddenly, I thought of Mother. My chest is tight, I feel like crying. What should I do now?
"No, I can't cry here. She will show her power even more. Lea, you have to be strong," I thought.
Amidst the silence because no one dared to speak, Irene and Gina entered the classroom. They immediately stopped, when they knew something was going on in this class.
"Lea?" Irene stared at me. Unlike Emma who looked nervous, Irene actually looked cynical. I don't understand, what's my problem with her that she looks at me like that.
The school bell rings. The tension in the class slowly melted away. Everyone in the class immediately went to their respective places. Meanwhile, I'm still confused about what I should do now.
Footsteps started to sound, I think I already know whose footsteps it was. I'm still sluggishly delayed, my mind is so messed up. After deciding to sit in my chair as usual and waiting resignedly for my time to leave this school.
"Good morning?" Miss Helen, the English teacher and homeroom teacher came into the class with a slightly tense expression. She glanced at me briefly, but I tried to avoid her gaze.
"Good morning, Miss Helen!"
"Students on behalf of Lea Bichsel are asked to go to the principal's room." The school radio sounded, I didn't think I would be asked to go to the principal so soon. When I left, all eyes were on me. I can't explain how I feel right now.
"Lea, I'll be there for you!" Miss Helen came with me to see the principal, of course because she is my homeroom teacher.
"Excuse me, Sir?" I said while knocking on the principal's door.
"Please come in !" Said the headmaster from inside his room. Me and Miss Helen came in, I've always tried not to have anything to do with the principal.
"Excuse me, Sir. Earlier I was asked to face you in this room!"
"Lea?" He looked at me with a sigh, my heart was pounding. I don't think I was ready to hear the bad reality that was said directly by the Headmaster. Beside me, Miss Helen looked as scared as I did.
"Have you received the letter that was sent to your house?"
"T-that I haven't checked the mailbox," I replied, remembering since Grandma died I couldn't even think about anything but grieving and crying every day.
"How about email? If you don't check it too?" His voice was deep, sounding very scary. So far, the school principal is considered to be very strict and disciplined. That's what makes this girls' school so famous.
"I haven't checked either, I'm sorry!"
"In that case, I am forced to explain directly to you. What I'm about to say might get you in trouble, but rules are rules. That means, you can't break them."
"Headmaster!"
"What's wrong Miss Helen? You came to my room to be with Lea?"
"Yes, I'm really sorry for being rash in giving Lea permission to be absent for three weeks. However, I did it because I had other considerations. Lea was an orphan, she had no other relatives who could take care of her Grandma, even until her Grandma passed away. Also, I didn't see any other family members accompanying Lea apart from some of her closest neighbors. Therefore, I beg for your consideration again, Sir? Please give Lea a chance!"
I was amazed to hear Miss Helen's plea. I didn't know that for the past few days Miss Helen had been trying to keep me from being kicked out of school.
"I understand, Miss Helen. Actually, I also don't want to expel Lea. However, the insistence of the owner of the foundation to expel Lea immediately, I have no other choice,"
It seems, there will never be a chance for me to stay in this school. Even though this school is the only school closest to my house. Besides that, I'm already very comfortable at this school with my closest friends, Irene, Gina and Emma. Oh yeah, I forgot that now, it seems they stay away from me.
"I understan, it's okay Miss Helen. I will transfer to another school, then excuse me!" I said before leaving the room.
I walked quickly, trying to hold back my tears. No, I can't cry here. I don't need to show my sadness to anyone, I just need to endure it, just a little more.
"Lea...!" Miss Helen called me. I stopped walking and looked straight at her.
"Yes, Miss?"
"I'm really sorry for-"
"It's okay, I'm fine. I'm going to move to another school. Thank you for helping me a lot," I said, trying to smile. Miss Helen gave me a sad look, there was great regret in her eyes. I don't want her to feel burdened.
"You're changing schools? Then, I'll help find a good school. Everything will be fine, Lea,"
"Yeah, maybe then I won't have to deal with Eveline Haller anymore." I laughed, trying to drive away this sadness.
"If you have a problem, just tell me, for sure I will always listen to you, do you understand?" Miss Helen gently touched my face. This woman is really very good, she is like an older sister to me.
Miss Helen hugged me, feeling very sad considering she couldn't scold me anymore in class or scold me for forgetting to do my homework. I'm the lousy one, it might be hard to survive out there.
I stood right next to Mother's grave, which is also next to Grandpa and Grandma's graves. Mother was the first person to leave me, Mother's sudden departure became a heavy blow to Grandpa and Grandma.
My grandmother had said that actually my mother had two identical twin brothers. However, the first child died by drowning in a lake when he was six years old and the younger followed ten years later due to cancer.
"Mom?" I kept looking at Mother's grave, my chest felt empty. Because Mom died when I was little, every time I think about her, I almost never cry. But now, why does my heart hurt so bad?
"Mom-" There was a great rumbling in my heart, which provoked my tears to come out. I can't take it anymore.
"Why did you leave? What should I do now?" This is the first time since the last time I cried every time I missed her.
"Mom, please take me with you, I don't have anyone anymore. I am alone,"
Memories of her came back, after all this time I kept them. Memories when she hugged me, stroked my hair, all the memories that she gave are very beautiful memories. I just realized that life is very hard without a mother.