Read with BonusRead with Bonus

Chapter 8: Pretend

"Hana? What are you doing here?" I hear a muffled voice around me, but my vision is blurred by the impact of my emotions.

I can't respond or think of anything that justifies my behavior in front of both of them.

My eyes are fixed on Nathan, alternating between him and John in a fraction of a second.

God, what do I do? What do I say?

And then, I think about what I can do best at this moment:

Pretend.

"Do I need to explain, Nathan?" I reply courageously, completely ignoring the fact that he might have found out about me and John. However, his actions demonstrate a complete lack of awareness on his part.

The receptionist stares at us with a confused expression that makes me want to laugh. Poor thing, she's just as bewildered as I am.

She brings another chair for me to sit and join them in what will be the most uncomfortable lunch of my life.

John hasn't uttered a single word, probably still processing everything that's happening.

"Dad, this is Hana, my girlfriend," Nathan doesn't hesitate to make it even more unpleasant.

Dad.

I've never heard him refer to him like that. Damn, it just got worse.

"Ex-girlfriend. You broke up with me, remember?" I retort, and he awkwardly smiles.

John almost chokes on his drink, and I begin to think it was because he was nervous. Then I gather the courage to look at him for the first time. He's got a damn smile on his face.

Did he know? Is this all part of some sick game or fetish? This is messed up.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Hana," he says as if he wasn't in the same bed with me four days ago.

Who is he, and what have I gotten myself into?

"Likewise, Mr. Kauer," I innocently respond, before remembering the impact those words have on him.

I see him clenching his fist against the wooden table, and memories immediately hit me. Memories I wish I could forget.

Focus, Hana!

"Can we talk?" Nathan asks without noticing the puzzled expression on my face.

"I think we should, especially after what I found out," I say, and my words seem to freeze his face.

"Dad, mind if we have a moment?" He signals for John to leave us alone, and I feel my legs trembling as he gets so close to me while walking towards the restaurant's bar.

Nathan takes advantage of John's absence and moves his chair closer to mine. The bar is right in front of us, and I see the irritated expression on John's face as he notices his stepson getting too close to me.

How can he feel entitled to be angry?

"I know you're angry, Hana. But I can explain."

"Angry? Nathan, I'm disappointed. I didn't want this to happen this way."

"I understand, neither did I. I had a plan to talk to you before you found out," his face shows genuine concern as if he's truly remorseful.

Or maybe my heart is just telling me what I want to hear.

"It would be less bad if you talked about cheating on me all this time," I say, and he sounds surprised, almost as if he expected me to say something else.

"No, Hana. I know it wouldn't make it better, but the impact would be less than on prom night. I acted on impulse," he reaches out to touch my hand, and I see John slamming his whiskey glass on the bar counter.

I withdraw my hand from his and lean back slightly

I'm afraid of what this could become.

"And did you expect me to forget all of this with a job offer, Nathan? Seriously? Do you think you can easily buy me like that?" I take a sip from a drink that's already on the table, hoping it will ease my nervousness.

"Wait, what job?" He sounds confused, and I realize he doesn't know what I'm talking about.

"The job at Desire? Wasn't you?" As I ask, I see John getting up and heading toward the restaurant's exit, impatient.

"I didn't recommend you for that job, Hana. I swear, I didn't even know you were applying for that position," he replies, and I feel just as confused as he does. "But it's a great opportunity, isn't it? You can stay, you don't have to go back to Japan."

I feel a pang of sadness hearing his words because due to my impulsiveness, I turned down the best offer I've ever received in my life.

"But now it's too late, Nathan. I wasted my chance. I thought you were behind it all and declined." I place my hand on my forehead, feeling nervous.

"You don't have to worry, I can help. Well, not me, but my stepfather can," he responds, and my eyes widen in surprise. "He's a partner at Desire. He has many businesses here and in New York. I can call him and explain the situation."

Nathan stands up impulsively to call John, and my heart almost explodes. I think quickly and pull him back by the arm. His body ends up colliding with mine due to his movements, and I smell his cologne.

It's all too familiar, confusing me. I'm completely torn by the feelings that invade me at this moment.

Damn, it's all so difficult.

"Don't call him, please. I want some time alone with you," I lie and feel guilty about it, but I can't let him find out what happened between us.

Hope reignites on his face, and he smiles. We sit down again, and now I have to continue the theater I started by giving Nathan false hope. God, I don't know what I'm doing.

"Hana, please, give me another chance. I need you by my side, I promise I'll do everything right this time. I'll make up for everything I've caused in the past few days."

"Nathan, I don't know if I can trust you again. I still have a lot of doubts and hurts."

His words sound too convincing. Either he's being sincere, or he lies better than I do.

Better than John, who's smoking a cigarette leaning against his car outside as if nothing is happening. He's so cold that he even locks eyes with me through the window, thinking I don't notice his intense gaze.

"I need some time to think, Nathan. Now, I really have to go," I say without continuing the conversation. I need time to think to digest this information overload.

Nathan understands although he doesn't seem satisfied with my response. We say goodbye, and he gets up to answer a phone call. I head towards the exit and consider stopping at the bar, but I need to get out of there.

I stop in front of the door and look at John next to the Lamborghini. He doesn't see me; he's turned away, talking on the phone. I think about going to him and confronting him, but I barely have control over my thoughts.

After today, I realized that I lack control over my actions. Coming here was wrong and risky. I need to be more cautious.

Taking advantage of John not seeing me, I quickly leave the place. I try to be fast despite the high heels that hinder my steps from coordinating.

I stop on the sidewalk, waiting for the signal to open, and when I least expect it, I see the car parked next to me.

"Hana, we need to talk."

Is John following me?

"What do you want, John?" I cross the street, and he continues to follow me on the sparsely populated road, the car at a minimal speed.

"Get in." He stops and says loudly. I stare at him, and he doesn't seem to give up on the idea.

So, with no way out, I take the action that should be the last after everything that has happened.

I get into his car and let him take me wherever he decides.

Previous Chapter
Next Chapter