Chapter 1
Alina
āWhat have you been eating, Alina? I thought this dress was tailored to your measurements, but it's hard to get it on you. Your butt is too big, and that's not a compliment.ā
One of the she-wolves tightens the corsetās laces, using much more force than necessary and expelling almost all the air from my lungs. The other she-wolf lets out a satisfied chuckle, and I can do nothing to defend myself.
A mixture of anger and sadness grows inside me. I feel like hitting them, but I know I shouldn't let these feelings overpower my conscience. These two are here to assist me in preparing for my Bonding Ceremony. It's clear they don't like the task, evident by their wrinkled noses and low growls directed at me.
They're true Lycans and believe that someone like me doesnāt deserve the blessing of a good marriage. Even less so because mine is happening before theirs, who have the appropriate age to receive their Bonding Ceremonies too.
Under the Moon Goddessā will, every Lycan reaches adulthood at twenty years old, which is when their Bonding Ceremony must be executed on their birthday. However, I'm receiving my ceremony at twenty-threeā¦
And today isn't even my birthday.
True Lycans can transform when they wish, without pain during the process... But meā¦ I'm actually the fruit of a forbidden union, and even my parents were killed because of it. I'm lucky to be alive.
Iām just a cursed she-wolf that can only transform into a big wolf, and this can only happen under specific conditions: during the full moon or when I lose control of my emotions.
There is no choice in the matter. When the transformation is triggered, it feels as if an inner beast takes over, compelling me to endure an agonizing metamorphosis. My skin seems to be torn from within, and my bones shatter, realigning and extending to form new joints. The pain is overwhelming, and it ultimately drags me into unconsciousness, leaving me in a state where I can no longer distinguish between friend and foe.
Since I have no friends, I should be calm about that last part. But being alone because of my inner monster is as painful as being forced to shift.
"I feel so sorry for your mate. He'll have to touch that ugly skin when takes off your dress. I meanā¦ If he wants to take it off."
I tell myself to stay calm.
Being quiet has always been the best option in the end because the consequences could be just as bad as if the full moon decided to appear in the sky right now, before dusk. Always, there are only two possibilities: either I get more scars, or someone loses their head.
And I don't want to add another accidental death to my record.
ā¦
According to custom, the ones who dressed me should be by my side now, holding my dressā hem while the Lycans of the kingdom scattered along the sidewalks with their families, to watch my walk and then accompany me to the Cathedral, forming a grand procession.
However, Iām completely alone.
As advancing along the kingdom's main street with firm steps, I try to ignore the suspicious looks I receive from the few Lycans who venture to watch me from the windows of their homes and establishments, slamming the doors shut as I pass.
I feel a hole in my chest, a deep hurt for being rejected for something I cannot control.
"Keep moving forward, Alina," I tell myself.
When I see the Cathedralās intimidating pinnacles rising before me, I remember the fear that I felt when Undyne, the Lunar Moonās Oracle herself, came to tell me that the goddess had chosen my mate. And this isn't a fear I feel for myself, but for the man chosen to marry me ā a man I haven't even had the chance to meet.
After climbing a flight of stairs, I come face-to-face with the Cathedral's doors open like a gaping mouth ready to swallow me whole. I stop at the entrance and see Undyne inside, at the feet of the goddess statue.
The Lunar Mother's Oracle stands tall and slim, her brown hair elegantly gathered into a bun. Her cyan-blue eyes gleam, radiating a presence so divine it's as if a goddess has been woven into flesh.
Looking around, I realize that Lycan King Ulric and his family haven't come, as they were supposed to. Neither he nor anyone else has arrived ā not even my mate. It's just me, Undyne, and the statue of the Lunar Mother.
With nothing to lose, I enter the Cathedral and hold my breath.
The colorful stained-glass windows in the Cathedral depict the tragic romance between the Moon Goddess and Ralous, her human lover. Yet, I find my thoughts irresistibly drawn to it now.
I walk through dozens of pews that face the altar at the back of the hall, where Murisā statue reaches out to those at her feet. Undyne does the same with her right hand, moving her fingers to invite me to keep walking.
When I arrive at the altar, Undyne looks at me with a gentle and equally haughty expression, typical of she-wolves born to serve directly to the Goddess. "The Lunar Mother asks for your vows, Alina Kalaz."
A day ago, I was informed about two young she-wolves assisting with the dress and how to express my vows flawlessly to the Moon Goddess. Perfection is crucial; not a single word can be amiss.
I lift the dressā hem and kneel before the Goddess. With my eyes closed, resting my forehead on the floor, I begin to recite my vows.
"Lunar Mother, I ask for your blessing on this sacred union. I, Alina Kalaz, will receive my mate for life, and together weāll walk on this journey." My voice echoes in the hall.
I hear a sigh of satisfaction coming from Undyne. "The goddess rejoices."
I wonder how the goddess could find joy after hearing words as empty as mine, but I prefer to stay quiet.
Undyneās bare feet pass right by me. She stops walking, but I don't dare lift my head until she says I can.
I stayed like that for several minutes, waiting for something I'm uncertain if it will really happen. I should be praying to the goddess and asking for a good marriage, but my mind is as empty as the Cathedral.
Unexpectedly, Undyne says, "Heās here." Her hand gently touches my back. "The chosen one of the Lunar Mother, your future husband."
My heart starts beating fast. A little more and the pumping organ will jump out of my mouth.
He really came.
Part of me believed that at the last moment, Undyne would say that even the one I am supposed to marry wouldn't come. And honestly, I wanted that, as long as he didn't suffer any bad consequences. But my mate is here, and now I see a weak flame of hope.
I want to see him, but at the same time, I don't want to ruin everything by looking so nervous.
If the Moon Goddess herself chose him for meā¦ does that mean he can love me?
Be realistic, Alina. He knows you're an uncontrolled aberration and the risks he was forced to take by being chosen to marry you.
Itās more than obvious that he already hates me, that he definitely doesn't want to be there.
"Get up, Alina. Go meet your fiancƩ." Undyne touches my back again, and I obey directly.
When I lift my face and turn on my heels, I see my mateā¦ alone, of course. No father or mother would like to watch as their son is forced to marry a monster.
But he's walking quickly towards us ā towards me. Heās wearing white and red clothing, matching my dress. I deduce that these are the traditional colors of Agaresā unions.
I try to say something, but nothing comes out of my mouth. My voice seems to be dead at the back of my throat.
As he arrives at the altar, Undyne smiles at him.
"My dear, heās Jared Duken. His family is humble but honest. They live off agriculture and livestock. His parents have gifted you both with a house in the countryside."
"That's... perfect." It's all I can say.
Then, surprising me, he takes my right hand and begins reciting his vows without Undyne having to ask him to do so.
"I, Jared Duken, promise to honor and respect my mate." He smiles. "And together, oh Lunar Mother, we will build a future of love and harmony."
My breath is taken from my lungs. There's something strange about him, especially in his scentā¦ He stinks a lot, but Undyne doesn't seem to notice that.
I don't know how to react ā or if I should react. Everything is happening too fast, but in my situation, I can't complain about anything.
"I see you're speechless," Jared says as he squeezes my fingers with his rough hands. "That's a good sign. I was thrilled when I found out that the Lunar Mother had chosen me to be your mate, Alina."
"Thrilled?" I ask confusedly.
"Yes, it's true..." Undyne holds our joined hands. "I wish, from the bottom of my heart, that this union be blessed. And don't let this solitary ceremony get you down, Alina. Hereās the only person that should matter to you from now on."
I look at Jared again, wondering how anyone could be happy to have the obligation to marry me. But the Oracle wouldn't lie at the feet of the Moon Goddess. If she says that Jared is happy, then it's true, and the Lunar Mother has indeed found someone who can love me.
I try to hold on to that.
"If both agree, then I unite them with unbreakable ties," says Undyne. "And what the Lunar Mother has united, only she can separate."
"So be it," Jared says.
He and Undyne look at me, waiting for my response.
I finally manage to smile a genuine smile, my first in years.
Jared's bad smell seems to have disappeared.
"So be it," I repeat.
Undyne, still holding our hands, says a few more words to both of us, then prays to the Moon Goddess. And finally, she leads us to the exit of the Cathedral, to a humble-looking carriage pulled by two horses, waiting for us outside. This is probably the one that brought Jared to Agares.
Jared helps me up first and then settles next to me.
When he closes the carriage door and I look at his face, I realize he has stopped smiling.
Jared stretches a bit and pulls the cloth curtains of the vehicle's windows, making the last rays of daylight from my Bonding Ceremony shine something on his waist.
It's a silver thing.
I feel a shiver run up the line of my spine.
Giving me a strange cold gaze, Jared says, "Let's go home, my dear."