5- I´m still virgin

Sitting on the pier, my knees pulled up, embracing my legs while the cold wind caressed my skin, the wind moves my hair as I listened to the birds sing. They sang joyfully, filling the darkness with the sound of their song. I closed my eyes and sighed, listening to their melody. I listened to the birds sing as James' caresses covered my face.

Peace. Calmness. That's how love should feel. But his touches, besides bringing calmness and serenity, also brought a burning sensation that rose up my legs and disturbed my peace, because I wanted to feel him closer and closer to me.

At that moment, James put his hands under my dress and touched my breasts. I felt uncomfortable but at the same time, so attracted to his touch. He loved me immensely, and in those caresses and in the warmth of his hands, I felt complete and safe. James' caresses are different from any other man's I've ever felt. His hands are warm and masculine, strong and make me want to feel initiated into the secrets of sexuality.

"It doesn't matter how much time you have spent with my mother. I don't blame you, I understand you felt alone," I said to him gently as he continues touching my body, my shoulders, my neck, and my lips with the tips of his fingers. His touch was slow and delicate.

"And blaming other people is not the answer," he whispers slowly.

"I do; I felt alone, but I've been alone for a long time," he says. His voice, sweet and tender.

"You shouldn't, I want you to be happy," I say to him. "I don't want you to feel alone ever," I said.

"And what about you?" James adds. "You lost your dad only months ago. You didn't deserve to go through that loss alone either."

"I had to be strong for my mother."

"But now you have me, you don't need to be strong anymore."

"I will give you stability and endurance, my sweet love, I promise you."

James gently brushes along the border of my lips, and I sigh. We are both in front of the lake, I take his hand, and we walk towards the pier, then I sit on the dry leaves and look at him for a moment, he continues smiling and sits beside me.

"It's fun to be spontaneous again, it makes me feel young again."

"You're not that old."

"Many would say I'm too old to be with you."

"It's not true, inside, you're young, radiant. I read your novel 'Opening my eyes at dawn,' the protagonist reminded me of you."

"Oh my God, I wrote that book 10 years ago, I was a different man back then, when I wrote it. Jade was a little girl, I still took her to the park, and I had fun when we went skiing."

Vicki laughs.

"Jade liked skiing, she was pretty popular sliding in the snow, always appearing in a variety of falls, she was an expert at driving me crazy with fear, but then I discovered that a good pink helmet was the solution to all her mischief," James says. We both laugh.

"Then Jade grew up, she didn't like spending as much time with me anymore, she wanted to go on hikes with other girls, trips with friends, concerts. Her priorities changed, and my responsibilities as a dad changed too. I love being her dad, but I lost myself in the process. I started writing my novels to find myself, and I found an unparalleled freedom in writing."

"You will be free again," I assure him.

"I am going to leave her, Vicki," he assures me. "I only want you. You deserve a man who only wants you. I promise I will leave your mother, I only want you."

"Can you be kind to her?" I ask him. "I don't want my mother to suffer."

"The sooner I do it, the better."

"Does she mean more to you than I do?" I ask, and the thought is painful, but he takes my chin and looks at me intently. "Not even a little bit. Kissing you is like kissing the stars."

This feels like a personal message, everything with you is personal.

"Come," James calls me. He takes my hand, and we get into a wooden boat. James takes two oars, and we start gliding on the water. I watch as the trees reflect with the moonlight on the lagoon.

"I'll show you the stars," he tells me as the boat stops, and James stops rowing. As I move to his side, the boat seems to wobble. I let out a laugh, the feeling of floating is amusing.

I settle down beside him, and he lifts my face, gazing at the stars that seem to shine that night, flooding the sky, just for us. I intertwine my hands with James' as the bright sky full of stars illuminates us.

At that moment, Jade calls me, and I take the phone.

"Hey Jade, everything okay?" I murmur, moving my face, as I desire privacy while talking to my best friend, not forgetting that my boyfriend is her dad.

"Vicki, are you at home? Do you have any condoms?"

"Oh, no, I don't have any. I had a couple of boxes, but I threw them away because I wasn't using them," I say suddenly blushing.

"Are you with Cameron?" I inquire.

"Yes, we want to be together tonight. Have you seen the full moon? It's beautiful tonight."

"Yes, it's perfect for a romantic evening. But Jade… don't you think it might be too soon?"

"No Vicki, I've been dying for Cameron since last summer. My heart tells me he's the right one."

I sigh deeply, understanding the feeling. I've only known her father for a couple of months, and I'm also crazy about him.

"Perfect Jade, just go to a pharmacy first, and get everything you need. Promise me?"

"Okay Vick, you're the best, love you," Jade replies.

"Hey Vic, when you went to my house to drop off my car, did you see my dad's truck? Is he still at home with his new dog… I mean bitch..?"

"Oh, your father…" I murmur, tensing up, James' eyes penetrate me deeply.

"I don't know, I didn't go to your house, I went straight to mine. Do you want me to drive you to your house?" I ask.

"No, don't worry, I'll see you tomorrow. Rest."

"Perfect Jade," I say and hang up the call. After hanging up the phone, my mom calls James, I know because I can hear the murmurs of her voice on the phone. James shudders and tries to appear calm while talking to her. After hanging up the call, I look at him intently, confused, longing for him, immersed in all the chaos that separates us, and the overwhelming passion that binds us.

He caresses my cheek tenderly.

"I think we should go back," he says. I nod, agreeing with him, and James rows back to the pier on the lagoon.

We walk to the cars, and I open Jade´s car door

“It would be better if I drive Jade´s car so she will not have suspicion we have been together.”

“Ok you can drive to my place and eat something” James says. I let him know I am agree with a head movement in affirmation.

Both of us drive next to each other to James' house. I take Jade's car to her house, and to my surprise, I see Cameron's truck parked out front. James parked the car as soon as He sees I am stopped next to his house.

"I don't think it would be a good idea for you to come in right now," I tell James as he gets out of his sports car, parked in the garage, and walks towards me.

"Okay, why do you suggest that?" he asks confused. “Why you don´t wanna go to my place” He asks me.

"Okay, Jade will kill me if she finds out I told you, so promise me you won't say anything." I explain to him, and his eyes so deep and intense make my heart goes fast.

"You have my word."

"Cameron and Jade are going to have sex tonight. They could use some privacy and discretion from you."

"How do you know?"

"Jade just called me."

"But did she suggest it or did she say it was going to happen?"

"Okay, thanks for telling me, I'll make sure this guy James spends more time with the family."

"You are a great dad."

"I don't want him to hurt my daughter. Who knows, maybe this Cameron is actually a special guy."

"Who knows?"

"And since when does Jade have relationships?"

"I'm not going to tell you my best friend's secrets."

"I understand, I understand. I just want to protect her. And what about you? Have you ever…?"

"Not yet," I say slowly interrupting him before James finish the sentence. "I'm still virgin."