Be happy.

To fulfill the agreement, I spend my days filling the emptiness in my chest with alcoholic beverages, and my mind insists on torturing it with sweet memories.

I drown my soul in waking dreams and destroy my health. I'm always thinking about Andreia, if she's well, if she's eating, how her treatment is going.

I get news once a week, just enough to keep me from going mad with longing. In the light breeze that comes through the bedroom window, I face the burning desire to jump and end my life.

Is this my punishment?

The sin of torturing an innocent woman into suicide. Is this what you wanted me to do?

To suffer bitterly, my bones shaking as if they would break every day. Is this the pain you wanted me to feel?

When will it be enough to cover all the evil I've done?

Unfortunately, my life is not a story where I can rewrite my mistakes. When I woke up after taking my own life, I tried my best to change the course of my life.

Just to be happy with Andreia... Ahhhhh! Screams and cries from my throat, raging to be happy with her, to finally receive her love that I had fought so hard for.

They say that a person who does evil doesn't deserve salvation. How can a person who has been so bad dare to ask for forgiveness? These thoughts prevented my love from being satisfied with their hatred.

Salvation...

How could I have thought that I had succeeded? If you could see my face right now, the tears streaming uncontrollably down this skin that hides this dirty heart...

I can't...

I thought I was strong enough to stay away from Andreia. But after receiving her love, I became too greedy.

It was raining outside, drops of water falling from the sky, I watched from the window as I prepared to go to hell. Jacket, tie, dress shoes, hair slicked back, everything a happy groom would wear on his wedding day.

But I'm not happy.

Every minute the hand on the clock goes down tortures my soul. Sebastian is in the room with me, along with Anabela's father, who wants a guarantee that I won't run away.

" Five minutes to the groom's entrance. " Says the party organizer.

At this moment I have an attack, my hands are shaking all the time and I start to vomit on the floor, I want to jump out of the window, but Sebastian and the other security guards pull me away.

" What's going on here? " shouts my grandfather with his wife by his side. " Causing a scene on your wedding day! I have to kill this..."

I shattered the window, ripping the skin from my hands, clutching a shard ready to take my life. The two noticed the lack of pain in the eyes that stared at them.

"Did you forget the warning? " I say coldly.

My grandmother takes a step forward and asks to be left alone.

As I watched the old man walk away, my expression relaxed and I let go of the shard. My grandmother tried to help me with the bandage, but I just want to get away from her too.

" Let grandma do it? " She says quietly.

" Go away, I can take care of myself. " I say seriously, without any affection.

" Do you love her so much? " She lowers her head with a sad expression.

" I'll do what you want, no matter how I feel. " I say, patching up the wound anyway.

" Boris... " He tries to embrace me, but I pull away.

" I have to get to the altar."

Before I can get through the door, his wrinkled hands pull me into a painful embrace.

" Oh, my son! What have we done? How could we have hurt you so much?"

"I have to go."

She turned my body, touched my face with a pained expression.

"I'm sorry, my boy. Forgive the old woman."

Before I could say anything, the guards came for me, I let go of her hands and continued my ordeal.

The footsteps mingled with Andreia's face, her poisonous kiss, but the sweetest of all the honey I've tasted. The emotion of seeing my daughter for the first time, of hearing her call me Daddy, stopped me in my tracks.

My feet wouldn't listen to my brain's command to keep walking, they stuck to the ground like lead, heavy tears fell from my face.

The memory of my little girl, knowing that I might never see her again, made it very difficult to continue.

"Sir? " One of the men asked.

"Just a moment. " His emotions get out of control, choking on the sobs of tears rolling down his cheeks.

" Sir, we have to go."

It's cruel. Whether I suffer or not, I'm forced to leave against my will. In the hall, the judge is in front of me and I can't face anything else.

Running away is not an option when Andreia is in the sights of these bastards. The bells ring and the piano begins to play for the bride's grand entrance. I clench my hands and try to stay focused and in place.

I hear everyone's surprise, the whispers that follow, my head down until I feel the bride's hands on mine.

I scream inwardly.

I can't do it!

I can't do it!

I can't do it!

As my despair exploded into an explosion of pain, I was reassured...

"Are you ready to spend the rest of your life with me?"

I looked up in disbelief, blinded by the reflection of the sun on the beautiful lace dress. I remembered looking at the model a long time ago, even going so far as to buy it, with the intention of seeing the only woman I ever wore. In front of me, helping herself to stand up in defeat as tears flow uncontrollably in front of everyone, is the only one I thought of the whole time I was getting ready.

" Andreia! " I hug her.

She smiles and returns the hug, and even without the judge telling her to, I kiss her, smearing her lipstick. I notice what I didn't see when I walked with my head down.

The people in the square are the boy's men who took me to the hospital, and at the entrances and exits are the men of the jailer.

" Why? " I ask, trying to understand.

"Who knows? " He shrugged.

The blond was slightly irritated by his partner's attitude.

"Get married soon! And never separate from her! " He said and pulled his husband to sit down.

" But... " I lower my eyes.

My grandmother approaches with my parents' wedding rings, and my heart breaks even more.

"I made the mistake of not stopping my husband in the past. My boy, I hope one day you can forgive me. Ples, be happy, my boy. "