Chapter 6: I have to control myself.
Chapter 6: I have to control myself.
When I left the university, I went directly to the bookstore on the way to my residence. I walked through the shelves like a girl in a candy store, wanting to grab all the books I saw, but I had a mission: some specific books.
Some that made me curious to read.
I kept walking to the bookshelf cataloged as «personal growth» until I came across Hades Parker's books, and he didn't have just 1 published; he had several. I took each one and looked at the covers; they really intrigued me, but I chose the one I had seen in his office because I thought it was interesting and I really wanted to read it.
I felt like I was starting to have a little secret obsession with Hades Parker, well, not an obsession; I think it was admiration, but as long as no one knew, it was fine with me.
What I hated the most was the way he made me feel, like I was out of my mind, like I couldn't control myself.
I had to learn to push away these emotions that I felt for him.
But here I was, buying his book.
I think I wanted to touch a little bit of his world, of his mind... just to know a little more about him.
I went to the cashier to pay for the book when I saw that there were other books on sale. One in particular caught my attention; the title read: «How to Combat Desire for Someone.» Don't judge me. I mean, I had to learn complete control if Hades Parker was going to be my teacher, and I had to cover up the fact that I kept staring at him like a walking hamburger after a whole day of fasting.
I refused to allow him to control my emotions; it was something that had never happened to me, a desire so intense that it took me out of control and made me come out of myself.
I went to my residence, but my roommate Saraelí was not there; she was always late because she worked in a restaurant every night until 2 or 3 in the morning after university. Our coexistence was respectful, and I did not interfere in her affairs.
The first thing I did when I got home was to change into something more comfortable and sit on the sofa to start reading the book "How to Fight Desire Towards Someone" before reading Hades; that way, I would know how to read it without obsessing... so much. I spent almost two hours glued to the book, reading each paragraph without stopping or losing focus. I was so addicted that I had already read half of it, and I had learned a lot of things like:
The first: Do not look at him, neither in the face nor in general.
The second is to take care of your projects.
The third: Treat him as if you don't care about his attention; don't put him in the first place in your life.
In short, that was what I had learned so far. But I still hadn't gotten to the part about how to remember to breathe right and keep your heart from racing, nearly going into cardiac arrest, when he fixed his beautiful golden eyes like gold on me.
His gaze was so penetrating that he could stir everything inside of me in a matter of seconds.
He had to start to stop seeing him as the supreme being he believed himself to be. Self-centered people like him, intelligent and handsome, thought they had the world at their feet, and they were showered with girls; that's why they always had that confident attitude that attracted us like magnets to metal.
Well, not with me.
Yes, it was true; he created thousands of emotions in me, but he was used to that, and I refused to continue raising his inflated ego. I would make him the law of ice; I would take my distance and speak to him only what was necessary for specific things.
I would make sure I got away from Hades Parker.
He wasn't going to let my feelings and emotions rule my body, much less for someone he had just met.
I was going to keep devouring the next chapter of the book to understand how to treat doctor sexy normally, but then my eye fell on the other Hades Parker "Mind Mastery" book... maybe I could take a look out of curiosity and see what kind of of things he knew, I was going to take it in my hands when suddenly the doorbell of the residence rang, startling me, stealing my attention, I frowned, I wasn't expecting visitors today.
Was it...?
Hades Parker?
«No, don't be silly, Nube, not because you think about it all the time. It's going to appear out of nowhere».
I got up from the sofa, adjusting the hem of my dress because it had gotten up between my legs, and I opened the wooden door without looking through the knob.
"Aunt Sponge!"
My niece Erin jumped on me in a hug, and I immediately responded with a smile; she had a headband with bunny ears of different lights and a pink tutu like a ballet dancer. Then I saw my brother Luciano with one of those smiles. They begged me for mercy with their eyes.
Oh, oh.
I knew where this was coming from.
"What happened here?" I said with a confused smile.
"I want to go out with Valeri," said Luciano, "Please, can you take care of Erin for a few hours?"
Yes, I knew you would ask me something like that.
Erin slipped out of my arms and ran to watch TV in the living room.
"Why didn't you tell me before, Luciano?" I said, lowering my voice so that Erin wouldn't hear; it wasn't the first time that he had appeared at my door to leave Erin with me; that is, my niece was the light of my eyes, and I loved her, I had no problem taking care of her, but I I took it as an abuse on his part that he came to leave her without prior notice to go fuck his girlfriend, Valeri.
"Can you or can't you?" he said, handing me Erin's Dora the Explorer bag, I took it.
"You know I do, but...
"Thank you," he interrupted me and quickly left me with the word in my mouth, or rather with my sermon in my mouth.
I sighed and closed the door; most of the time, I supported Luciano; he was my only brother, the eldest; he had married his wife Rosmer 5 years ago. They had Erin, and then Rosmer just one day with another man, abandoning her family and leaving my brother to raise Erin alone.
My brother had a very bad time as a family; my mom, dad, and I always helped him, and I liked that he got ahead with this new girl, Valeri, but since we lived close, most of the time, he wanted me to take care of Erin, as I said before, it was not a problem for me because I loved being with my niece... but I stayed for a long time because she demanded my full attention, she always wanted to play, that prevented me from studying, doing things at the university or reading the book on how to avoid the intense desire for someone.
"Aunt Sponge!" Erin said. "I have some ears in my bag for you."
Aunt Sponge was the name she gave me when I gave her a SpongeBob stuffed animal with which she -according to her- slept at night.
What I liked the most about Erin was that she physically looked very similar to my brother Luciano, and my brother Luciano looked like me with gray eyes and dark hair; I think it ran in the family; my mom had gray eyes but was blonde, my father was the one with dark hair.
"That's good, Princess Erin," I said, sitting with her on the floor in front of her television; I took control of her by placing a children's channel.
Erin went to her bag and took out little rabbit ears with lights similar to the ones she was wearing, placing them on my head.
"She also brought my pet," Erin continued and suddenly pulled a huge brown rabbit out of her bag.
No, it wasn't a stuffed rabbit; it was a real rabbit with white fur, pink ears, and red eyes.
"You brought a rabbit," I said, trying to make my face look happy, even though she was internally screaming in aggravation.
I liked the animals, but I hated how dirty they were and having to clean up after all.
"Yeah," Erin said, setting it down, "dad bought it for me, his name is Mr. Whiskers." Erin continued taking things out of her bag and smiled, "I brought makeup to do your makeup!"
Before she could deny me, she started painting my face, covering it with gloss and lipstick.
"How do I look?" I asked her when she finished.
"You look like a princess," Erin said.
Well, the mirror in the living room where she could see my reflection made me look like the Joker.
I ran a hand over my head, grunting a little when I saw Mr. Onewhisker pooping in the corner of the apartment.
The worst thing was that I knew it was my turn to clean it, if Saraelí came and saw the dirty apartment, I would give him something; she loved cleaning.
I got up to get toilet paper and a bag. On TV, they were giving a children's concert with dance music, and Erin began to jump, moving her arms, thinking that she was at a concert.
"Let's jump, Aunt Sponge! Let's jump!" she yelled.
"Wait, princess, wait..." I said, seeing how the rabbit had also left gifts of excrement around Erin, I was afraid that I would step on it, but Erin ignored me, she kept hopping like a kangaroo, and everything happened... Erin slipped when she stepped on Mr. Whisker's poop and fell on her side, crashing to the ground, hitting her arm badly and starting to cry.
Oh no, why me?
"Calm down," I told her, reaching up to her to check that she was okay, she kept crying.
"It hurts me!" she cried without stopping to cry.
Damn.
"Wait," I said, completely concerned, and when I managed to sit her down, I realized that she had dislocated her shoulder.
Fuck.
This only happened to me.
The hospital was two hours away, not counting the traffic, the only place close was...
Hades Parker's pediatric office.