Chapter 1: Live A Little

Chapter one: Live A Little

Camilla

My life sucks, all I have ever wanted was to be loved and taken care of but I guess I was too cursed to experience happiness in my life. My biological father abandoned us and disappeared without any trace. My mother always comes back home drunk, she doesn't have an iota of love towards me nor do I get any motherly love, all she cares about is her alcohol and her new found man who happens to be my stepfather now.

I was deprived of both motherly and fatherly love at a very young age. My stepfather would do anything in this world to get rid of me but I was too strong to let him succeed in his plan.

To save my life from my stepfather, I moved out of the house and went to live with my boyfriend in another city. But still couldn't be loved and cared for. Maybe I am being a little dramatic but I swear this world is against me.

I honestly can't remember the last time I had a good day. This morning, my dumb ass boyfriend thought that it was okay to turn off my eight o'clock alarm and just replace it with his own. The alarm was set for an hour later than what I needed, like hell, what is wrong with him?

The purpose of the alarm was to wake me up and go to the gym but I wouldn't be surprised if I came home later to find him on the couch in the same position I left him. It is fair to say that things have been a little rough between us recently but once again, I have to force myself to remember that if I wait just a little longer, things will get better.

Our relationship was never one of those all consuming romances you may have heard of but Robin is nice and that's enough for me. He didn't abandon me even when everyone else did.

His stupidity this morning made me miss a meeting with a client. I am an event planner. I was supposed to meet a couple this morning concerning their upcoming wedding but my idiot boyfriend made me miss that. On top of that, my lack of coordination caused me to trip on something and ripping my stocking in the process. I just wanted to be happy in life. Is that really too much to ask?

Coming out of the gym house, I decided to branch to the only place that ever brought happiness in my life. A coffee shop that wasn't too far from my house. I came here on a daily basis to ease out some stress.

Opening the door, I was greeted by the wonderful smell of freshly baked goods and coffee grinds, filling the whole place.

"Camilla is that you?" A familiar voice called out from the kitchen before the counter.

The owner of the cafe, Susan Kanu. She is the most kindhearted woman I have ever known but she can sometimes be scary as well. I can only be thankful that I am on her good side because despite her old age, I wouldn't put it past her to be able to make even the toughest men run away crying.

"Hello, Mrs. Kanu." I replied, walking towards the sound of her voice.

Peaking around the corner, I saw her petite figure standing with her arms crossed and facing my direction.

"What did I tell you?" She said with a slight warning in her tone.

"Hello, Susan." I quickly corrected myself, catching onto what she meant.

For some unknown reason she was very adamant on me calling her by her first name. I am not sure of the reason but either way my response caused a bright smile to spread across her face.

"What brings you here at this time of the day?" She asked as I helped her carry the tray of baked snacks over to the counter.

"Robin turned off my alarm, so I had to reschedule the meeting I had initially booked at nine o'clock this morning. I was just coming out from the gym, heading back home to see him but I am definitely going to need some coffee before that happens."

I heard her let out a disapproving sigh and I already knew what was about to leave her mouth before she even said it.

"Why do you still stay with that boy? We both know he has the brain of a rock and it is not like he is giving you any good…"

"Susan," I interrupted, stopping her from what she was about to say.

Just because she is right doesn't mean it has to be said. It only served as a reminder of how touch deprived I am. The thing about Susan is that she is as blunt as you ever think of.

"He is ni…." I started, feeling the need to defend my boyfriend but I was cut off.

"Let me guess, he is nice to you?"

"Yes and he treats…."

"Treats you well? My dear, I hate to break it to you but that is another way of saying he is boring."

She is right and that is why I stopped protesting but Robin is all I have ever known. He knows every damn thing about me, I feel safe with him and if he is going to leave me, he would have done it by now. Now matter how much baggage I may carry, Robin wasn't scared off by it.

It has really been a rough life for me, it has been almost a year since my father disappeared and still there is no sign of him. Even the police and other detectives couldn't trace his whereabouts, they said his disappearance was voluntary. The little that I knew him he wouldn't go hiding without a good reason.

Most people think that he is a heartless monster which in some way I have to admit but at the same time, never once in my childhood did he make me feel neglected or unsafe. He started teaching me self defense from the time I could walk. I vividly remember him telling me on my tenth birthday that he wouldn't be around forever and that once he was gone, the only person I could rely on was myself. And that day happens to be the first time he thought of how to use a gun. He gave me a gun as my birthday gift.

My father might be crazy by doing that but I still love him nevertheless. I already knew it was going to be very impossible to figure out where he was, no one found him unless he wanted them to. I can only hope he either reveals himself or decides to come out of hiding.

My private detective has been trying to track him for the last seven months but so far nothing has come out of it and it only leaves me more and more disappointed. And that is why I am still staying with Robin. I have lost so much and I am sick of everything in my life changing, he is the only consistent thing as of right now and I wasn't prepared to lose that yet.

Not responding to Susan's early question, she continues speaking.

"You are twenty-five years old, you should be going out to clubs and meeting new people. Let yourself live a little and before you know it, you will be old like me wishing you would have just loosened up more while you still can." I smiled at her words.

I wish I could have argued with what she said but the truth is that I would be lying if I said I had a good social life. I used to go out with my friends a lot but ever since I moved here with Robin, I haven't been able to meet new people and besides he doesn't like to go out that much. He prefers that I stay home with him and the last time I went out, it didn't go well. I went to a club without him and when I came back home that night, he scolded me for dressing like a slut and then refused to sleep in the same bed with me for almost a week. I cried so hard that night but he eventually came to his senses and apologized.

I knew apologizing can't justify his actions but at this point, I can't even remember what my life was like without him and for that reason, I chose to let it go. I grabbed my takeout coffee and dug into my bag to grab some cash to pay but Susan stopped me with a glare.

"Don't even think about it."

Not wanting to argue, I sneaked the cash into her tip jar before she could protest. She always gets upset whenever I pay for anything in her cafe. With a smile on my face, I moved around the counter and placed a kiss on her cheeks which managed to remove the pout on her face.

"Bye, Susan."

"Have fun with your boyfriend." I shook my head before closing the glass door behind me.