Chapter 9

September 8th, 2018

Collège de St. Cyr

Serpens Hall

Moon in Leo - Waning Crescent

Alec's a little drunk, and knows it. As he crashes into the entrance of Serpens Hall, he hopes everyone on his floor is either out or already asleep, he's not up to face anyone. Anxiety has gotten a hold of his nerves, which led him to drinking and snogging girl after girl, on his bar-hopping route this evening. When in fact the only girl Alec has wanted to snog for a while is Cassandra Tremayne. He snorts, Cass is a bigot, an ignorant, a silly airhead. But, oh, she's sexy and a tease, too, and knows it. Always flirting, always throwing off hints and innuendos. And Alec can't quite avoid being lured in by her, she's completely his type.

But tonight he can't bear being close to Cassandra, nor any of his colleagues from the A.A.S. Tonight Alec needs distance, and solitude, privacy to deal with his demons. His nerves keep flaring, despite the amount of alcohol consumed, and he can't remember ever having been this jittery. As if something's about to happen. It was probably all that talk of death going round his classmates, everyone in Year One discussing the murder of that former St. Cyr professor, the man who made such progress into alchemic studies and Chaos Magic systems. The man who was such an inspiration to his pupils, he got them to excel where plenty of others had failed before.

Darren Whitford was a star, all right. His achievements would live on in the Nonpareil world, like a beacon of light in the dark. Before Professor Whitford, transmutation was pretty much a fluke, most times. He'd managed to pin down the right kind of sigils, somewhere during the seventies, and improved them during the eighties. By the time the nineties hit St. Cyr, Darren Whitford had created a universal sigil that allowed Shifters to achieve transmutation with a certain ease, and he was on his way to accomplish the exact same thing for Sanguinaires. In fact, it had been one of Professor Whitford's own students the first - and so far, only - ever Sanguinaire to manage a successful transmutation of elements and his own self. It had also been the first time Darren Whitford hadn't used himself as test subject for his work, according to the world at large. Alec doubts the veracity of such claim.

He takes the stairs two at a time, stomach heaving and roiling, a clear threat he'll soon be spilling his dinner and the various drinks consumed. The third floor landing is dark, the light bulb in need of replacing, but none of the students give a damn about it. Maybe if Professor King was about, he'd have seen to it, but according to all sources, Ezra King is still in the UK, dealing with the aftermath of Darren Whitford's murder. The thought brings on a fresh wave of nausea and anxiety, and Alec gulps down bile. He manages to get the door open, sliding in with the least amount of noise he can manage, in case anyone's up. Didn't Cass say she'd be staying in? Light comes from under the door of the common room, vindicating his suspicion.

She's there, he can sense her.

Alone, bored to death, perhaps. Eager for some distraction. The cloud of booze once more fogs his mind, and Alec smirks. Maybe it's about time he shows Cassandra Tremayne a thing or two. She's been teasing him for a week, maybe it's time the girl has a taste of her own medicine. Pulling his hair into a ponytail, Alec curls his fingers round the knob and opens the door.

On the sofa, Cassandra shifts instantly to her left, head snapping up to take in the intruder. A blush covers her cheeks, and her eyes widen, while her hand - faster than the blink of an eye - snakes back into her lap. But not fast enough that Alec fails to see it curled around her guest's fingers, just seconds before. Her guest. A man, much older than Cassandra, his two-toned eyes set on Alec, studying him. Who might this be, Cassandra's boyfriend? There's something familiar about him, about the golden stubble on his cheeks and chin, the golden hair on his head, the shape of his eyes. Alec feels like he must have seen him before, met him somehow, somewhere. He just doesn't know when.

"Alec," Cass greets, threatening to stand up and spill the laptop from where it balances over her knees. Her very naked knees. "You came home early."

She sounds both glad and disappointed, and Alec can't help wondering if maybe he's just interrupted something.

"Yeah, I wasn't feeling up to much," he says, and steps further into the room, a sudden wave of dizzy jealousy washing over him. One that's matched by the look in the stranger's eyes as they linger over Cassandra. "Sorry for barging in. Aren't you gonna introduce me to your friend?"

The blush deepens on Cass's cheeks, and Alec grins. He wasn't wrong, then, something was about to take place and he interrupted their tryst. So, Cassandra is a tease with a boyfriend. She's even worse than he'd pinned her down for.

"You must be Alec Delacroix," the stranger says, standing up and nearly jumping over Cassandra's legs to get to where Alec is.

And then he knows who this is, undoubtedly. The very bright star in Darren Whitford's collection of students, the one Sanguinaire who managed to transmute the elements outside the room he stood in, the very man who poured down rain over St. Cyr on a hot, sunny day. The Sanguinaire who also managed to shift into a wolf, for about five seconds, a feat beyond anything ever heard - Alec knows of Shifters who can't hold their form that long.

Ezra King.

Head of the A.A.S., professor of Advanced Alchemy at St. Cyr, researcher of Chaos Magic Systems and Genetic Components of Alchemic Magic at Notre Dame. A man whose brain is said to be the brightest to have ever existed since Leonardo da Vinci. The man who was so impressed with Alec's claims on achieving physical transmutation from male to female before he'd even started Year One.

"I am," he says, and senses his body unravel as it fights to retain the male aspect.

Ezra reaches out an eager hand, Alec places his inside it, the professor's grip strong and warm. "I'm Professor King, your supervisor. Been dying to meet you, I'm sorry I was unable to be here on your first day."

Alec is taken aback by the man's welcome, he'd been under the impression his intromission had not been seen with lenient eyes. Ezra King had looked annoyed at the interruption. "Don't sweat it, I know you were dealing with personal issues. I'm sorry for your loss."

Ezra looks duly sorrowful, but the curious, eager glint is soon back in his eyes. Cassandra sits - all but forgotten - on the sofa, and when Alec catches her eye, there's a hint of fury inside, for not being centre of attention for once in her life. He grins, his nerves still flaring, fights to keep hold of himself as a he. But the way Ezra is looking Alec up and down soon breaks his hold, and although the change is swift, subtle, minute, the professor cannot hold back a gasp of surprise.

"This is what you meant, in your application letter?" he asks, and Alec nods. "So you were born with a female body?"

"Gender doesn't define me." There's annoyance in Alec's voice, now; this is a tiresome issue at best. "I was born with girl parts, but I don't always feel like a woman, all right? Actually, most time I feel like a man. I have a man's urges, a man's needs, a man's wants." Her eyes swerve back to Cassandra, lock with hers, and Ezra's gaze follows the direction of Alec's.

The professor blushes, scowls, as if bothered by the looks exchanged between the youths. Alec finds herself grinning at the thought this man, who must be some twenty years older than Cassandra - so, old enough to be her father - may have the hots for one of his students. That's inappropriate, at best.

"And you never considered another type of... sex change?" Ezra asks.

"No. There are moments when I enjoy being a woman, when I need to be a woman. If I were to make it permanent, I might lose the feminine side of me, and that's something I'm unwilling to give up. I'm both, and yet I'm neither. I'm Alec."

"I see. But on a practical sense, how did you first come about it? The transmutation, I mean. How can you physically swing from one to the other so easily? Even with talented Shifters who've been transmuting for years, it takes a bit of preparation; it takes time, not to mention a lot of energy and work put into it. The proper sigil must..."

Alec opens the coat she's wearing, unbuttons the shirt underneath. To expose the upper half of her chest, and quite a bit of breast too. Ezra seems unfazed, but Cassandra lets out a gasp and a moan, which forces Alec's eyes to her again. She smiles at the sudden flare of heat on the other girl, licks her lips in a telling way, Cassandra blushing but cocking an eyebrow. Then her eyes return to Alec's naked skin, and both she and Ezra King take in the tattoo inked over Alec's heart.

"I made it permanent," she explains. "This sigil won't work for anyone but me. And I can tap into it constantly, whenever I feel I need to be my other self."

Ezra reaches a hand as if to touch the sigil, thinks better of it and recoils. "This is new to me." He studies it for a few seconds, gestures Cassandra for something.

The girl seems to understand his silent plead, grabs a pad and pencil, hands it over without even leaving the sofa. But as she leans forward, the strap of her camisole falls down her shoulder, exposes even more skin. From where Alec is standing, she can see Cassandra's breasts, round and full, the dark nipples made darker by the shade. It's her who finds herself gasping now, while Ezra King takes notes on the sigil she designed years ago, which allows her to be whoever she needs to be. Whichever part of herself she needs to be.

"I think I understand," Ezra finally says, the page on the notepad no longer blank, now filled with scribbles and sigils by his own hand. "This only works for you because you're not trying to mimic someone else. When you use transmutation here, it's to access another part of yourself. This is closely linked to your fluidity, isn't it? No one else would be able to do this, unless they were Shifters who also happened to be genderfluid, right? And even then, they'd have to design their own sigil, summon their own specific energy. This is the most personal form of Transmutation I've ever seen. This is huge."

"But mostly useless," Alec replies, and buttons up her shirt.

Her head is still foggy, the drinks sit awkwardly in her stomach, and she finds she craves yet more alcohol. Stepping away from the professor, she crosses the room in unsteady strides, and from the freezer fishes a bottle of vodka they all pitched in to buy. Grabbing a tumbler from the sink, Alec fills it with a generous dose, downs it in one gulp, knowing this is the last thing she should be doing. Especially if she ends up alone with Cassandra in this room.

"Perhaps you shouldn't be drinking," Ezra says.

"I'm over eighteen."

"You already seem to have taken more than your fill."

"Are you going to father us around?" Her cocky smile throws him off, and she ends up releasing a laugh that's filled with bitterness. "Bit too late in my life to have someone play daddy to me." There's more than meets the eye in her words; a sadness, a regret, infused into them.

Ezra shakes his head, as if he understands where she's coming from, and who knows? Maybe he does, they're not that different, after all. "Well, Alec, it was very nice to meet you, finally, I look forward to working together. Have a good night."

"Wait, you're leaving?" Cassandra jumps from the sofa, her face awash with disappointment.

Ezra looks away from her, stares at the door, hand on the knob, ready to leave. "It's late, I'm knackered. We can discuss your new curricula another time, Miss Tremayne. Have a good night."

He dives out of the common room as if eager to place some distance between himself and the girls, which Alec figures is just what he needs. Still wondering what was it she walked in on, her gut coils with a burn of rage, of jealousy, and she finds it hard to understand. Cassandra is a distraction, but that's all she is. Not staying material, she's a one-night stand, the type Alec fucks and leaves. So why this sudden jealousy at what she only suspects might be going on between Cass and Professor King? They looked as if they were about to kiss or something, but Alec's entrance put a stop to it, and Ezra actually seemed relieved. He must know how wrong it would be, for him to jump into something with one of his students. But he still allowed himself to feel, didn't he? Maybe his morals aren't all that good.

Maybe Alec's morals are even worse.

She eyes Cassandra intently, knowing this is the drink speaking, not really her. Sure, she's attracted to the girl, wouldn't say no were Cass to offer herself; but not tonight, not like this. This is in no way a conscious choice, this is the alcohol getting her all hot and bothered and horny. She still pours herself another drink, downs it before slinking closer to where Cassandra stands, laptop forgotten on the coffee table. Alec's mind registers curiosity about what Cass and Ezra King had been working on, and what he meant with her new curricula. It only serves to spite her more.

"You're one huge walking cliché, aren't you, Cassie?" she asks, aware of how much Cassandra hates to be called that.

The girl offers her a murderous glare, and Alec preps herself for the infinite sassy - some of them downright offensive - comments Cass seems to have on her repertoire.

"Please, entertain me, I'm so bored. You got yourself my attention. Oh, wait, too late." The girl turns round to grab her laptop, Alec's anger explodes inside her.

"Having the hots for the teacher?" she says, voice escalating. Forcing a deep breath, she tries to control it, why does she care? What is it to her that Cass wants to hump Ezra King? Why does she let it annoy her this much? "You do realise the man was high as a kite, and that's why he let you carry on? The moment I walked in he sobered up and saw sense, didn't he? I mean, bloke knows better than to carry on with something that might ruin his career. And frankly, you're not ruin-your-life material."

Cassandra closes the laptop, picks it up, hugging it in front of her as a shield. "Oh, you were still talking? Sorry, I blanked off. It's easier to pay attention to you when you're playing at being a man. You tend to stand out a little more, then."

Shocked beyond what she expected, Alec curls her hands into fists, holds them at her sides, trying not to plummet into Cass. She'd like nothing better than slapping the girl for her comeback, but decides to take the higher road and not allow her the satisfaction of playing victim.

"Wow, you're really a bigot, aren't you?"

This time, Cass replaces the laptop on the table, rests her hands on her hips, a look of defiance on her face. "If that's what you want me to be."

Alec takes a step closer, curls fingers round Cassandra's wrist. "I don't want you to be anything but respectful. I want you to fucking respect me."

"It's something you gotta earn, I think. And how can I respect someone who doesn't respect me?"

She cackles, astounded at Cass's nerve. "I don't respect you? You're the one who's always trying to trigger me, with your stupid, ignorant, offensive remarks."

"Ignorant? Offensive? Boy, there's no winning with you, is there? You have a chip up your shoulder, and somehow I always end up on the wrong side of it. It's fine, you don't like me, okay, cool. Not everyone has impeccable taste."

Unwillingly, Alec lets out a snigger of amusement. Cassandra drives her mad, but her witty remarks tend to put a smile up her lips. "It's ignorant and offensive that you constantly ask if I'm a man or a woman at the moment."

"It's because I want to know, you dimwit," she yells, frustration seeping through her voice, and suddenly Alec sees her in an altogether different light. "It's because I don't want to be offensive, or ignorant, and address you as a girl when you're in one of your masculine moods."

"See? That, right there. Masculine moods. And you don't find it offensive? It's because you are ignorant, Cass."

"Then teach me, o wise one," she whispers, and her eyes take on a different glint, another kind of haze. One that comes not from drugs, neither booze, but from lust. Alec's resolve falters. "Please, enlighten me."

"You don't want to be enlightened, Cassandra." Why can't she stop saying her name? Why hasn't she let go of her arm? Why is she pulling Cass closer? And why doesn't the girl fight it? "You want to indulge your curiosity. Well, it did kill the cat, didn't it?"

"I'm so glad I'm a girl and not a cat."

She's too close, now. There's far too much booze in Alec to allow her to think clearly, this is a mistake. But she can smell Cassandra's breath, the hint of mint in it; and feel the warmth from the other girl's body, see the heave of her breasts, the curve of her waist, the length of her legs.

"Who's begging to be fucked as she was never fucked before. Who wants me to make her come, like no man ever made her come before," Alec whispers, her lips touching Cassandra's ear. The girl shivers noticeably, and Alec grins, tip of her tongue darting out to run along the whorl of Cass's ear.

"Oh honey, you'd have to try real hard for that. I doubt you have the capacity. Especially when you're in girl format. See, I really don't do women."

Breaking free, Cassandra pushes Alec away, a gentle nudge. But it snaps something inside her, and suddenly, she's more offended by the fact Cassandra isn't gay and refuses her as a woman, than by any of her abusive remarks. Before the other girl has time to grab the laptop again, Alec curls her arm around Cass's shoulders, shoves herself against her, free hand cupping her cheek. And then her mouth is glued to hers, their lips touching, her tongue parting Cassandra's aside. Cass opens up willingly, eyes closed, hands on Alec's waist, thumbs coiling on the belt of her jeans. She kisses with wild abandonment, with eager hunger, a soft moan escaping her lips, before one hand travels down to grab hold of Alec's skinny butt and the other curls around a small breast.

This is too much. Alec's body breaks out in goosebumps, she shivers instinctively, holds Cassandra tighter. Oh, she's good and ready to go, and tries to direct the other girl back to the sofa, where they can lay together and perhaps take it further; she'd like nothing better than to show Cass a thing or two. But before she even manages to form a coherent thought in her head, Cassandra's hand slides down Alec's torso, slithers into the waist of her jeans, dives inside her underwear. Alec tenses, her eyes snap open, mouth unlatching from Cassandra's lips. The girls lock eyes, and Cassandra's fingers deftly play with Alec's most intimate parts, rousing her expertly. She must have done this before, but Alec can hardly think. All she can do is clamp back a moan and try to hide the shocked look on her face. A look that now becomes one of intense pleasure and release, her own hand rushing to cover Cassandra's and guide her rhythm as Cass's fingers speed up, bringing Alec close to release.

And then it's over, her brain explodes; her entire body explodes. She comes against Cassandra's hand, body shaking, her parts contracting over the other girl's fingers. Alec's hand still presses against the fly of her jeans, over Cass's, guiding her gestures, preventing her from breaking free. She leans her head against Cassandra's shoulder, breathes heavily, tightens her hold round the girl's waist. Kisses her neck, trails her tongue up towards her mouth, which she tries to kiss. Her eyes are glazed, but she can still see the harsh look on Cass's.

"Now, I've made you come," she whispers, not even trying to pull her hand free from inside Alec's underwear, where her fingers still caress the other girl's intimacy. "Consider this my apology. I do want to be friends, or at least in good terms with you, but I'm fucked if I know what to do to appease you."

Alec is the one who pulls free, disgusted at Cass, at herself. "You did this because you thought I'd be your friend afterwards? Are you insane? What kind of person are you?"

"See, there you go, offended again." Cass places one hand over Alec's shoulder, tries to bring her closer. "I did this out of curiosity, interest. You're a mystery to me, I never met anyone like you. I wanted to see what it's like, to do this."

"I'm not your training wheels, Cassandra."

"Nor am I a plaything, Alec." She lets go of the other girl, wiping her hand on her jeans, grabs the laptop on her way to the door. "I'm sorry if this went too far. You're a great kisser, by the way, I think it got me a little carried away. Look, can we start over?" Her eyes are large and begging as she rounds them on Alec. "I don't mean to offend you, or hurt you. I never met anyone like you, so it's complicated, I don't know how to act around you."

"Act as if I'm fucking normal, then. And don't do this, if you have no intention on following up, Cass. You tend to be a bit of a tease, and one day it might cost you more than you know. Be careful, especially around men like Professor King."

Cassandra blushes, bites her lower lip. "I don't know what you mean."

Alec lowers her head, shakes it, brings it up again. "Look, you like to flirt, to tease. Some people won't respect your wishes, because of that; they'll assume you're game for anything. I'm sorry, but it's the way of the world. Blokes especially, but trust me, I've come across a few women who can be as... abusive as many a man. Older blokes, like him, they tend to assume certain women are just playing hard to get when they say no, they're acting coy after being so flirty. They tend to assume it's an act, and so they refuse to listen. And one day you may find yourself screaming for him to stop, and he doesn't hear. Doesn't care. One day, he may end up taking by force what you're not giving him willingly, just because you teased him."

Cass looks stunned, and takes a step back to Alec, one hand reaching for the girl, without touching her. "Did someone do this to you?"

Alec cackles, raises her hands to her head, covers her eyes. "Oh my fuck, you're unbelievable. No one did this to me, I'm talking about you, Cass. What if I were to force myself on you, after what you just did? What if I raped you, assuming it's what you wanted, because you decided to get me off? Don't you think about the consequences of your actions, girl? I'm not even talking about you leading me on and me starting to believe we could be on to something between us. I'm talking about what can happen to you because of this. Go do that to a bloke and then refuse to fuck him, and see how respectful, how understanding he is. Go sit like you did with Ezra King, your hand curled in his, a lot more times, and see where it ends you. Do you never stop to think?"

Cass shrugs. "I expect people to respect each other's wishes. I expect them not to force themselves on others. And so far, I've been very good at reading people."

"Did you respect me, just now? Did you not force yourself upon me?"

Cassandra's face floods with shame, shock, and a little anger. "Are you saying I forced you? I forced myself on you? Come on, Alec, were you not trying to get me to that sofa so we could do to each other what I did to you? Are you really trying to convince me you didn't want this?"

Did she? Had she really wanted it? In truth, it hadn't crossed her mind Cassandra might do it. But it wasn't as if Alec hadn't fantasised it often enough, ever since meeting the girl. Yes, she couldn't claim to have been forced, to not have wanted this. It was just she never thought it might happen. So where does it leave them? Where does it leave her, and her goals, her reason for being here? She doesn't want a distraction that leads her purpose to falter, or her mind to stray from her work. She's come to St. Cyr for one thing only, and it's not to get involved with the likes of Cassandra Tremayne.

"Where does this leave us, then?" she finally asks.

Cass shrugs. "I want to get to know you. I want us to be friends. I want to know how to be around you without setting you off, or being offensive. So help me with this. Let me be your friend."

"And that's all I'm having from you?"

"If you mean to know if there's gonna be a repeat on this, then it's a no, Alec. This was a one off."

"Fair enough." Better to keep it this way, then; better they remain merely friendly. "I'll try not to take offence at everything you say, I'll try to be your friend."

"Thank you. I'm off to bed, then. Have a good night, Alec."

"Have a good one, too."

She watches as Cassandra leaves the room, relieved they've managed to come to an agreement. Relieved there'll be no chance of getting herself off course just so she can pursue her budding feelings for this girl.

But then why does she feel so empty, so cheated, so swindled?