CHAPTER 05. Broken like me
— VITA.
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"Why are you treating me like this?" My voice almost fails because I can't hold back the tears, the cry that squeezes my throat. A sob escapes through my lips as I awkwardly lift my body, sitting on the floor without any strength in my legs... "Why are you hurting me so much?"
Derek doesn't say a word; he just stands up and straightens his pants without looking at me.
"I love you so much, and yet-"
"You love me?" He laughs, finally looking at me. "How dare you say something like that after everything you've done?"
"I'm telling you, Derek..." I say between sobs, tears streaming down my face. "I'm trying to tell you, but you don't listen!"
He turns his back on me as I cry my heart out, and I finally stand up with shaky legs. I approach him, grabbing his shirt from behind, and notice that he freezes in place, his muscles suddenly stiff.
"I'm telling you, Derek! I didn't kill Alice..." I put my wet face against his back and tried to hug him, "Baby, you have to believe me!"
And as if my touch disgusts him, he quickly pulls away, shouting, "Don't call me that! You’re not my mate anymore!”
My crying intensifies; I can't help it. There are so many tears that my vision is blurring... "Derek, please!"
"Shut up!" He advances across the room, his pheromones growing stronger and more suffocating. "Swallow your lies, Vita! Swallow them one by one and choke on them!"
"How can you not believe me?" My trembling voice gets louder. In fact, my whole body is shaking, but I don't know if it's because I'm cold or simply because anger is blinding me. Those damn tears I keep crying for him get the best of me every time!
"And how could I?" Derek turns sharply to me. "I looked out, Vita... I looked for any clue, no matter how small... Any mere proof that you didn't do it!" And he steps forward with quick strides, his finger pointed in my direction, making me take steps back. "And you know what I found? NOTHING, Vita... There's nothing to prove your innocence!"
"That's absurd-"
"You lie so much... I wouldn't be surprised if you believed your own lies!" Derek continues to advance while I back away until I'm up against the wall. I try to pull away, but he corners me, hitting his fist on the wall next to my head. "You killed Alice, and why? By the Goddess, Vita, just tell me why..."
"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" I shout, trying to push him by the chest. "I'M TELLING YOU I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING; WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME? I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING, MY HEART, MY SOUL... HOW CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE ME?"
Suddenly, the door to my room opens abruptly, and I take the opportunity to move away from Derek. The light enters my room just as my father rushes up to me...
"Dad!"
I throw myself into his arms, burying my face in his chest, wetting his white shirt with my resentful tears. There are so many different feelings burning inside me that I don't know which one causes me more pain, especially when I can't tell which hurts more: Derek's rejection or his distrust of me.
"Did I give you permission to interfere, Polo?" Derek says without turning towards us. His back looks really frightening that way.
"I heard screams, Alpha." My father says slowly, his arms still around his own body. Why isn't he hugging me back?
"My orders were quite clear when I said that no one should interfere." Derek turns slowly, looking over his shoulder with his fierce yellow eyes staring at us. "Does that mean you're rebelling against me?"
My father's eyebrows furrow, and he pushes me by the shoulders, "Not at all."
"I've been too benevolent in sparing your family, and you dare go against my orders? I'm no pushover, Polo... Do you want your head on a stake, adorning the outskirts of Wolf Jail? Your dear wife and her daughter can keep Vita company in the cold cell."
What...?
"Or maybe you two will meet in the afterlife... Vita's got a pretty face; it'll make nice furniture."
I look with horror at Derek because he can't be serious...
"Forgive me for my mistake, Alpha. My loyalty belongs to you and no one else... I would never intentionally defy your orders! I was surprised by the screams, that's all, and you needn't worry... Vita is no longer my flesh and blood from this moment on. You're free to do as you please."
"Dad?" I try to grab his shirt again, with a shaky voice and tears streaming down my face... "Dad, please..."
Without hesitation, my father slaps me hard across the face, making my face turn from the impact. His large hand crashing into my skin takes up almost all of my head, leaving the shape of his fingers marked like a betrayal.
"Dad? Please? You're dead to me, Vita! You've thrown the name Virginia into the mud, aren't you ashamed? Your mother would die again for the shame and disappointment you've brought us! A monster — a traitor! You should be seven feet under, not our princess!"
I fall to my knees with no strength in my legs.
Tears continue to roll down my eyes, but no more sobs escape my lips.
Nobody... nobody believes me.
Everyone has turned their backs on me.
Everyone hates me.
But I haven't done anything... I really haven't.
"With all due respect, Alpha... People like her don't deserve a punishment lenient like death." My father says, wiping his hand on the side of his shirt as if it were dirty for slapping me... "Death is sometimes a mercy."
Derek is silent for a few moments, then walks over slowly. He stops in front of me, his feet almost touching my fingers...
"You're right, Polo." Derek's voice sounds cold once again, but I don't dare raise my face to see the expression on his face. However, he doesn't spare me the pain... He crouches down to my height and looks directly into my eyes. "Vita, I hope you enjoy your stay in the Wolf Jail... Killing you would really be too merciful. I want you to suffer — and only then will I bring you death."
[…]
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Derek’s men throw me into a cramped cell, so small it’s like a cage. I fall to the ground, scraping my knees on the stone floor, but I’m too numb to feel any pain other than the one in my chest. I scratch the floor with my fingernails, and blood and dirt are gathering under them...
“I’m sorry for everything Vita did. I had no idea I had created such a monster. I can’t believe it’s my own daughter, and I refuse to accept that this thing has my blood on it.” I hear my father’s voice sounding apathetic, almost like I’m not right next to him, trapped in such a small cell, curled up and thrown to the floor, without the strength or space to crawl. “Wanda is not my blood, but she has proven herself more honorable, sweet, and worthy than this damned creature. If Vita didn’t carry the blood of my dead wife, I wouldn’t have agreed to you two tying the knot.”
Oh, yes... even at times like this, my father is worried about a deal and his position in society. It’s true; my father wasn’t born under the surname Virginia; he got it through marriage. My mother, the rightful heir, left this world and all her legacy in the hands of this dirty man who put another woman in the house a few days after her death. But of course, I was only a child, and I was happy for the loving stepmother and sister I earned.
Now, everyone has turned their backs on me...
And my own father is selling me out, throwing me into the fire without even blinking.
“I hope this doesn’t affect our agreement. I mean...” He looks at me with disdain, and because I’m on the ground like a wounded dog, he seems even more intimidating. “Vita no longer represents the Virginia family.”
Derek looks at me as well, and I feel like I could disappear immediately; his fierce gaze makes me feel terrible, something disposable, a sin that should never exist in this universe.
A mistake.
A monster.
“Of course... let’s discuss the future later,” Derek says without taking his eyes off me, and his smile makes me frown in a mixture of anger, disappointment, and sadness. “Why don’t you wait for me outside, Polo?”
My father doesn’t question or think twice; he just turns his back on me, leaving the room in complete silence. His daughter is trapped like an animal, and he doesn’t even try to defend me or say goodbye. He’s really abandoning me, disinheriting me from his affection, from our family.
My throat narrows, and my eyes sting, but I won’t shed a single tear for this cruel man again...
Derek bends down again to my height. His eyes don’t glow the same intense yellow as when he seemed on the verge of madness, overwhelmed by intense sensations, but I can no longer see the man who, for the last two years, has been my fiancé — my mate. This is not my Derek, and there is no longer any sign of the person I fell in love with.
Even if our engagement was a mere agreement between families for power, I fell in love with Derek from the moment I laid eyes on him.
I just knew from the start that I was meant to be with him... Yes, I just knew.
But now... I can’t feel it.
I can’t see him anymore.
“How do you feel, Vita?” He asks with his new arrogant tone that doesn’t match the voice that used to be so caring. “How do you feel knowing that even your own father has turned his back on you?”
I can’t answer him; the words have flown off my tongue.
“No one wants to be around someone as rotten as you, Vita.” He runs his hand along the railing, reaching for my face. His touch is so gentle and soft that it doesn’t match his apathetic expression and cold voice at all. “You killed the person who loved you most, and now you’ve lost everyone around you.”
I close my eyes, feeling my eyes sting even more because thinking about Alice is a throbbing wound that hurts and kills me from the inside. I’d like to live through grieving, but I’m losing so many things at once that I can barely feel and understand everything as I should. My family, my love, my freedom — everything is slipping through my fingers.
So tiny, so insignificant.
The loss of Alice seems to take everything with it.
“Nothing to say?” Derek retracts his hand, making me open my eyes fearfully. “All right, darling... I’ll give you a week to think about it. If you give me the answer I want, maybe I spare you the real misery.”
Real misery? I’m already in the middle of hell. How could this be any worse?
“You’ll stay in this little cage like the beast you are... I’ll break you piece by piece, Vita, just like you broke me.” Derek’s words are like a promise that I know isn’t empty at all.