Chapter 4: The flesh is weak

Chapter 4: The flesh is weak

I swallowed heavily, my heart beating so fast I could hear it in my ears.

I just had to get out of here, I was so nervous I was starting to shake.

"Hey," I cleared my throat, "thanks for... you, I have to go now."

I couldn't even speak coherently.

I got up and he stood aside putting away the things he used to heal my hands.

I needed to breathe, I was so dazed that I couldn't find the door to leave, I looked around, I couldn't see the door.

«Breathe».

"How did you tell me, that is your name?" Father William asked from behind me.

I thought about it for a moment, in fact I never said it.

"Celeste," I murmured.

Where was the door?!

I stopped and closed my eyes so I could calm down and focus, I opened my eyes again and saw the door all in front of me. I started walking towards the exit, I felt that until I got out I wouldn't be able to breathe.

"What do you like to do?" the father asked suddenly.

Huh? Why was he talking to me?

I stopped and turned to look at him, he had gotten up from the floor and was now looking at me from a good distance, except that even this room felt very small and I had to make a lot of effort not to look at his exercised torso with that striking ink.

I needed to calm down.

But I didn't understand what kind of test this was that they sent the church of such an attractive father. Was it to distract us or to keep our thoughts neutral in the face of sin? It was very difficult to avoid looking at him, even more so when he wasn't wearing many clothes.

I lowered my gaze and fixed it on his feet, that way he wouldn't see it.

“Photography,” I said, “is my extracurricular class.”

After high school, we could go to this place and watch theology classes for 5 years with a free extracurricular class, it was photography, painting, reading and music. I had chosen photography and I was very excited that I had the best average in my class, especially because in fact we were only like 2 students, of course my other classmate had not attended and since it was an extracurricular class I did not give it importance.

I looked up when I saw that he didn't answer me and I noticed that his face changed to a more serious one.

"What happen?" I asked without understanding, I knew something was happening that we weren't going to like.

“I'm afraid that class is going to be cancelled,” Father William admitted to my complete surprise and shock.

"But..." I murmured without understanding, that news had hit me like cold water.

"It's a lot of unnecessary investment," he explained, "and only one person takes it."

What? So it was true that they were going to cancel it permanently?

They couldn't cancel the class, I mean, it was true, the only one who took that extracurricular class was me, but it was my passion, they couldn't close it.

"It's not unnecessary," I replied, not caring that I seemed haughty, "the art of photos is a beautiful thing!"

He seemed somewhat indifferent, of course, he didn't see the photograph as a photographer would, the color pigmentation, the tones, the lights, he wouldn't love it in the same way either, much less would he feel passion for it.

"You'll have to convince me not to close that class," said Father William, "take a good photo, one that lets me know that it's worth the investment."

I swallowed heavily. Sure, I also knew that professional cameras were expensive, but that was a big part of me; I couldn't take it off.

"I will," I promised, I was ready to take the most professional and splendid photo I would ever see of him.

"I want it tomorrow at 7 in the morning," said Father William, "I'll be in my office."

What? But tomorrow was Saturday and in fact the only day in which we were allowed to get up later because we were fasting until 3 in the afternoon. In addition to it being very little time to look for a good photo, it was already very late at night.

"But..." I started to say.

He stretched his lips into a smile that seemed cruel to me.

A moment ago my hormones were raging and now I was really starting to feel very heavy.

"Are you afraid of failing, Celeste? " he asked, getting a little closer to me, I shuddered, he wasn't close enough to touch me, but close enough to make me tremble, one more step and he could touch me.

My name in his mouth sounded like a soft caress, I licked my lips and shook my head.

"No, sir," I said, opposing him wouldn't be worth it.

I noticed how his gaze rested on my mouth for half a second, leaving me breathless, the atmosphere becoming heavier from nowhere, I felt that my whole body was hot, I wanted to run away from here due to the intense tension of the room, his eyes slightly darker than a moment ago, when he looked at my eyes again, he seemed to suddenly react and turned around walking towards his bed, avoiding looking at me.

"Okay," he said, "you can leave."

I nodded my head as the only response and left almost terrified, holding onto the wall, feeling that the intensity almost caused my heart to jump out of my throat.

Would I have felt it alone, or would Father William...?

No Please.

I couldn't think that, I mean how could I think that Father William could feel things? They were supposed to be in priestly celibacy and practice chastity, it was impossible for them to feel anything... I shook my head and started walking quickly to my room to try to calm down, I just needed to sleep.

Although at that time I did not know that the parents, despite devoting themselves to religion, were also made of flesh and blood, and the flesh was weak.