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Chapter 8: The dangerous closeness

Chapter 8: The dangerous closeness

«fuck».

But he was very close to me, I could perceive her warm breath so close to my skin that I felt my legs tremble.

"You must be careful," Father William whispered, still close to my back, "Celeste."

"something is pressing on my back, father..." I murmured and swallowed heavily.

My heart was beating wildly when he laughed a little and let go of me, taking a step back; giving me space but for some strange reason I missed his closeness to my body.

"It's the camera, Celeste..." said Father William, "or what did you think?"

What did I think?

Well I had thought thousands of things and at the same time I just didn't think about anything because my mind went blank from shock.

I didn't move from my place, feeling my face turn red with shame, I didn't even dare to turn around to face his gaze, I just stayed very still.

"Nothing, I..." I cleared my throat, "thank you and excuse me."

I was about to go down when I heard him say:

"I'll wait for you in my office."

I just nodded my head and started to go down the stairs quickly.

Why did everything feel so intense and strange with him? It was as if he lost control of my body and gave free rein to immorality.

I was about to tell him that I didn't want to see him again, that in fact I wouldn't be returning to his office, and to close class; I didn't care that he even kept the camera, but I didn't want to be a coward, that is, he was the father of the church, I didn't have to feel this panic, in fact he had to transmit peace to me, but... why Did you feel this unease with the man who was practically close to heaven? He felt closer to hell.

I arrived at the dining room with my head in a mess, almost everyone had already eaten but they were still at their tables talking, I removed my plate and managed to hear their conversation about the children of the orphanage where we supported service, I didn't understand the context very well, but it seemed serious.

"Celeste, where were you?" Georgette asked when I approached, always under this light you could see her brown freckles and her almost non-existent eyebrows, at night when she took off her cornette she could tell that she had red hair; Her hair was very short.

I started eating just to have my mouth full and avoid answering things.

"You're all red." Commented another of the novices, she was Genesis, her gaze was very deep, it was not innocent like Georgette's, speculative.

"Oh, I'm dying of hunger." I just said and put a big bite of potatoes in my mouth.

They continued talking about a Bible passage that we were studying, in a few days there would be an exam.

"You finished eating?" asked the mother superior, appearing behind me, everyone at the table bowed their heads and left like birds seeing a dog.

They all feared the Mother Superior, or at least that's what they said, preferring to keep her away from her.

I was the opposite, I was always available.

"Yes." I said wiping my mouth with a napkin.

"I need you to come to my office to help me with some files," she said.

"Now?" I asked.

She raised an eyebrow as the only response, it was obvious that it would be now.

"Mother," I continued, "what happened is that Father William sent me to call him at his office..."

She frowned.

"What did you do?" She accused me.

"Nothing." I said and explained: "It's because I lent him my camera and..."

"Come," she interrupted me and started walking, "and then you go."

I nodded my head knowing that I couldn't disagree with her and got up to go with her.

We entered the office, she explained to me that she had to go with some files from the desk, I approached and noticed that they were in fact folders from the children of the Ángeles orphanage.

"I need you to classify the boys and girls separately," she explained to me, "and then classify them one side from 0 to 8 years old and from 9 to 17 years old."

I started to do it while she seemed to be reviewing and writing down the names on a piece of paper, I noticed that the title at the top of the page said that they would be in the refugee part of the church, I was confused.

"Will the children live here?" I asked.

"Yes," she said, "for a while while they do renovations at the orphanage."

Oh, how strange.

"A commission of novice students will be sent to be aware of the needs of the children and their caregivers," the mother superior continued, "you will be at the head."

"Me?" I said startled, I knew that meant more responsibility, although it also meant more extra credit.

"Is it a lot of work for you?" asked the mother superior, looking at me contemptuously.

I looked down at her to avoid contradicting her.

"No mother, not at all." I replied.

I continued sorting the kids, not that there were that many of them, so I finished quickly.

"Tha's it," I murmured, "excuse me."

I started to withdraw.

"Are you going with Father William?" She asked, I stopped and looked at her.

"Yes." I said, not knowing if he could read what was going through my head and fearing that until he knew what he had done in the stream.

"Take this to him." Said the mother superior and began to search under her desk and then handed me a box where I could see that it was a white light lamp. When I held it I noticed that it was somewhat heavy.

Ugh.

"At least his complaints have gone down," the mother superior began to murmur, "but he is very dissatisfied, he didn't like the yellow lamp, he wanted a white light..."

"Peace, mother," I said when I saw that she seemed a little stubborn like Father William.

"Come on," she said, going to her desk chair, "don't make him wait."

I forced a slight smile on my face, feeling like I was now obligated to go with him.

Now I didn't like standing out so much, not when I felt so strange around him, just thinking about when he approached me, when I felt his hot breath near my neck, and...

I cleared my thoughts, I didn't want to sin again, I had to just stay out of it with a blank mind.

I left the mother superior's office and went to Father William's office, as I got closer, my heart was racing and I didn't know why I felt that pressure in my chest of anxiety.

I had to overcome this fear, he didn't have to intimidate me like that. I gained courage and knocked on his door, after a few seconds I heard him respond:

"Come in"

I closed my eyes tightly, filling myself with courage and then I turned the knob, not knowing that that afternoon my world would break giving way to the sin that Father William made me commit.

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