06
– You are a figure, Malu. – I snorted, turning my face and hugging my book. Waiting for him to catch up and just go away.
– Are you really going to continue trying to ignore my presence?
– Am I successful? – I risked looking at him from the corner of my eye. A smile appeared on his lips.
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No.
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Drugs...
– Malu...? – he whispered, his voice making me shiver. I came face to face with his eyes that seemed to contain that shade of gold, all the fury of a sea of Titans, even though they weren't blue. His firm but at the same time imploring gaze reminded me of the books I had read about ancient Egypt, about the miracle of waters and rivers, the wealth and beauty of gold. Igor’s eyes were like a sea bathed in gold, perhaps a clear stream that quenched the thirst of millions of Malu’s, like one of those unfortunate dreams of mine. His eyes initially caressed me and then the longing gave me a beautiful imaginary slap. His smell hit me hard, mixed with the fragrance of some cologne unknown to me. I don't know why, or perhaps knowing too much, I felt my blood boil. Out of anger, that was why I shook holding my book and felt my eyes moisten, I tried to make myself believe. I closed my lips. Just out of anger. Just anger. – Malu...
– Eu.
– It's just... I just...
- Just what? – I interrupted him, anticipating the words that would come out of his mouth. – Don’t you want me to tell my sister about last year’s vacation?
– She's a nice girl.
– Not that much, trust me. She's nice sometimes, like... When she sleeps and so on. – I couldn't find my irony funny. – Yeah, she's cool... I know that because I've known her for about 15 years.
– I swear I didn't know she was your sister.
– Would that have changed anything?
- You have no idea. – he looked in the opposite direction than me. We remained silent for a few minutes. Sharing an intimacy that shouldn't exist.
– We shouldn't be having this conversation. – I sighed. It was strange, bizarre, unreal, wrong, too intimate. This moment shouldn't be happening, not like this. Because this had happened so many times a long time ago. The two of us on a bench, sitting, looking at each other hoping that all the answers would come with one look. In the past it would have been with a kiss. The world would make sense when I drowned in the golden sea of your eyes, my anguish and insecurities drowned in an open and warm smile, matching your embrace. But now... The sense was that we were two strangers who knew each other too well. And it shouldn't be like that. Not when he was my new brother-in-law. Not when my sister's eyes, even though she wasn't that close or a friend, shone so much when she mentioned his name. As if it were the most beautiful, most desired and loved gift. It definitely shouldn't be like this. I dug my freshly cut nails into the cover of my old book. – You know what... We are two strangers. That's what we are.
- As? – he seemed surprised to hear my voice.
– You don't know me, I don't know you. Believe this, and everyone else will believe it. – I proclaimed, laughing at myself.
- But I know you.
– I knew... Now you have no idea what I am.
– Why do you always have these confusing conversations?
– Am I not being clear enough? I don't care if you're with Ceci, for me, if all this blows up. I just don't want to have to tell her this and that. Having to give any kind of satisfaction or explanation. I'm not going to get in your way, I'm serious. I want you to cooperate for your girlfriend's sake. Is it clear now? – He took a few seconds looking at me, staring at me. As if trying to read me. I stood my ground. He let out a low sigh, his face leaning a few inches closer to mine.
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It is.
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Excellent.