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Chapter 1

TW: Physical Abuse, SA, Psychological Abuse, thoughts of suicide

Chapter 1

"Megan," my father calls from the bottom of the stairs "breakfast," he adds. Walking out of my room at a slow speed unsure of what kind of mood he’s in as he calls me by my name, normally it's sweetheart or when he's in a foul mood it's Megs. With him calling me Megan I’m not to know what mood he’s in.

Making my way into the kitchen I see he is in an OK mood as he gives me a bright smile, I give him a small one back so he would not think anything was wrong. He puts a plate of pancakes in front of me and sits down opposite me "I'll take you to school today if you want," he states. I look at him and just give him a small smile. I don't want him taking me to school but I don't want to anger him either so I say ok and eat most of my pancakes.

The car ride to school was just bearable for me. I wasn't much of a talker and he knew that but today I haven't said one word to him "Are you ok sweetheart?" he asks. I nod and play with the zip at the side of my bag. "Have you and Tyler had an argument?" he asks. Tyler, he was the only person that kept me sane. He’s my boyfriend. We have been going for about two years depending how you look at it as we broke up when my mother died as I needed space and he knew that. I slowly shake my head "c'mon sweetheart, something's bothering you," was I to tell him the truth and make him angry or lie and save myself some grief. Lying was my best option.

"I just miss mom that's all," I say quietly. It wasn't a big lie as I did miss her. I miss her a lot but that isn't the reason I’m being so quiet. "I've just been thinking about her a lot lately," I continued.

"Oh ok. We'll go see her grave after I finish work if you like?" he asks, I nod and then the car came to a halt "go on get into school," he says with a small smile "and cheer up you know your mother hated seeing you like this," I gave him a small smile and kiss his cheek.

"Bye dad," I say, getting out of the car.

"I'll pick you up. Ok?" he asks.

"Yeah ok," I say, shutting the door, he smiles and drives off. I like him when he’s like this. It's like he has two personalities and this one was the one I like. The other I loathed.

I turn on my heels to see the prison that parents and other people over the age of 21 call a school. It wasn't like I hated this school, it was the people in it. They were all stereotypical like the Goths only hung with the Goths, the preps only hung around with the preps. Then there was me.

"Meegaaaaan," I hear someone sing. I turn to see it’s was my best friend and she is dressed in her usual . I give her a small wave and then she jumps on me and I mean she literally jumps on me with her legs around my waist and everything "How was your summer?" she asks. I wince as she lets go of me but I try not to make it seem obvious.

"Ok Melanie. What about yours?" I ask now walking with her into school.

"Mine was brilliant," she says with a big grin on her face "look," she says moving her hair behind her left ear to show it covered in piercings "painful but brilliant," she says with a grin.

"Does your mother know about them?" I ask as she has her lips pierced too which her mother doesn't know about. She nods and opens her locker and looks in the mirror to start putting her snake bites in.

"She paid for it to be done. My sister was just like 'Nooo your beautiful ears' she's a proper freak sometimes" she says smiling to herself in the mirror "I still can't tell them I've got these done," she says shutting her locker "my dad was just like what you going to do when we go on holiday?" she says with another smile.

"So why can't you tell them you got them done?" I ask as I shut my locker.

"Because they would literally kill me, I asked them before I got them done if they'd let me and it was a straightforward no and don't bother asking again or we will ground you," she pauses and presses her lips together "they says that the ears, the belly button and the nose are enough," she paused again "but it isn't like I can't take them out," I nod in agreement "looks like it's time for me to leave" she says nodding forward. I look to see Tyler walking towards me "I'll see you in class yeah and then you can tell me what I missed while I was on holiday," I nod and she walks off to her other friends.

Tyler walks over to me and puts his arms around my waist. "How was it when you got home last night?" he asks as I didn’t get in until after curfew.

"Ok," I lie, and put my arms around his neck. "My Dad's picking me up today so you can't take me home ok," he nods and kisses me.

"C'mon," he says, moving out of my grasp and putting his arm around my neck and we walk to class together.

--Hours later--

We’re in art class, when I say we I mean, me, Melanie and Tyler. "Babe," Tyler says, turning to look at me. I look at him and smile a little "what do you think of this one?" he says holding it in front of me "now it's not fully finished yet but tell me what you think of it so far?" he asks. I tilted my head a little.

"Urm it's different," he frowns at that and takes it away from me screwing it up. I sigh and give him a sorry look "I'm sorry."

"Don't be" he says with a smile "if you don't like it then it's obviously crap," he states. I sigh and run a hand through my chocolate brown locks.

"Why don't you just draw one you like? As long as you like it, it doesn't matter what other people think," I state. I hear Melanie sigh and then I watch her roll her eyes "What's up with you?" I ask.

"Well he's not going to listen to you he only cares what you think because he's going to get your name under it," she states "which I don't know why because once you both go to college you won't be together he'll be doing some blonde prep and you'll be doing some guy about 2 years older than you from another country like England or something," she voices. My jaw sort of drop and so does Tyler's.

"I would never do a blonde prep," he says a little loudly. I look at him "not that I'd be doing anyone but you," I frown "shit," he says looking down and scratching the back of his head. He then turn to look at Melanie "stupid bitch," he mumbled.

"You what?" she snap. I sigh I actually thought they would go a day without arguing. They argue all the time. Sometimes it's comical but sometimes it is just plain annoying.

"Can I have your attention please?" our teacher calls, causing Melanie and Tyler to shut up. Our teacher didn't allow us to call her by her last name. It was always Allison "Ok as you all know I'm getting married in a few weeks," some of the girls coo and smile. Allison smiles "so that means I'm leaving here by the end of the week to go to Australia," we all frowned "now I've met your new art teacher and he's pretty good, new but good...so he'll be starting next Monday as I'm leaving this Friday to go to Australia get married and start making babies," most of the lasses giggle and the lads make a look of disgust some smirking "so I will see you all next lesson which is on Wednesday," she says looking at her watch and then the bell goes.

Fear shocks through me as soon as the bell goes. Everyone starts to leave the classroom. I sit there for a few seconds until I hear my name being called. I look to see it;s Tyler "you coming babe?" he asks. I smile, pack my stuff away and walk out of school with my hand in his.

"Tyler," I say as we get to the doors. He looks at me "I love you," I say with a small smile. He smiles back and tells me he loves me too and then give me a quick kiss on the lips as most likely my father iss only a few yards away.

"Are you coming round to mine tonight?" he asks. I shake my head.

"I'm grounded because of how late I came in last night," he nods in acknowledgement and then gives me another quick kiss and walks off to his car while I walk to my father's car.

"How was school Megs?" My father asks. My eyes widened a little as he called me Megs. I gulp down my fear and look at him.

"Ok," I say and then quickly put on my seat belt and look down at my lap.

"Good," he states.

"Did something bad happen at work?" I ask.

"No, why?" he asks. I gulp as he is lying. Something must have happened for him to change into the person I hate.

"I...I just wondered," I stutter out.

The drive home is silent which is awkward for me but probably not awkward for him. I hate being near this part of him, this person that acts like he hates me all the time. I know there's something wrong with my Dad but what I don't know.

Once home I walk slowly and quietly behind him. Last time I went in front of him when he was in this sort of mood it didn't go well.

"What do you want for dinner?" he asks. Once he was at the door and putting the key into it.

"Urm...anything I'll eat what you eat," I say hoping that was the right answer. He turns to look at me and fear strikes through me. It wasn't the right answer. I gulp down my nerves and look at him to see him smile a little and then turn and open the door "I have homework so I'll stay in my room, ok?" I ask. He nods and walks off into the kitchen to make dinner for us both.

I run as quietly as I can up the stairs and shut my bedroom door to start on my homework, which isn't a lot as my English teacher is also leaving at the end of the week. He’s retiring which is joyful as he is a boring old fart.

Hours later I walk out of my bathroom in my night clothes and it’s then I hear my father stomping up the stairs. He bangs on my bedroom door "open this door," he demands, slurring his words. I clench my fists and look towards the door. It isn't locked. I had forgotten to lock it but if I had then I wouldn't be terrified right now.

The door slowly opens and he stands with a beer in his hand looking at me with an evil look in his eyes which tells me what’s coming.

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