Chapter 6

Chapter 6

TW: SA

Megan

My father has been in the mood I hate since he picked me up from school. He had finished beating me about an hour ago and gone back to his drinking. He told me that tomorrow I had to end it with Tyler. He said ‘if I didn't then it wouldn't just be me that he would hurt,’ so I made up my mind to do what he says I don’t want Tyler to be hurt I love him too much.

The sound of the living room door slamming shut echoes throughout the house and I gulp down my fear. I hoped that in his drunkenness he would forget about me and go to bed. The sound of the thud on my door told me he hadn't forgotten about me and is coming back to use me as his punching bag...again. I don't move on my bed. I just close my eyes and pray silently for him to give up and leave or see that when he comes in I'm asleep and it would be unfair to deprive me of my sleep. Fat chance of that happening.

My heart practically leaps out of my throat when the door swing open and bangs on the wall showing how much force he had added to the push. I grip my bed covers and try to steady my breathing making it look like I am actually asleep.

The side of the bed that is closer to the door sinks down so I figure he is now sitting on my bed. I can smell the alcohol on him. It is that strong so he obviously has drunk a lot. I hear him say 'Megs' but I stay quiet after all I’m trying to come across asleep. I feel him touch my shoulder and slowly move his hand up and down my arm.

Cold air hits my back once I feel the covers lift up but is soon replaced by hotness "Megs" he sings in a taunting tone. I gulp again and then I feel both of his arms go around my waist. He pulls me closer to him. What the hell is he doing? Because this is seriously just creeping me out. He moves his head into the crook of my neck and inhales deeply as if he is inhaling my scent or something. It only takes me a few seconds to register what he is doing once he moves his hands down from my waist and into the black bottoms I’m wearing.

My eyes shoot open. One thing I am not ever going to let him do or anyone for that matter was rape me. I put my hands on his hands and pull them out of my bottoms. I hear him grunt in frustration but I don't care. I scramble out of my bed but he grabs me round my waist and pushes me back onto the bed to position himself on top of me. I look up into his eyes to see this isn't my dad. He’s like a wild animal, the hunger in his eyes and the anger scares me half to death. He is looking at me as if I’m a piece of meat. "Get off" I scream but he doesn't and I try my hardest to push him off but the heavy weight of his body make my efforts look weak and pathetic. I could feel myself start to cry. My own father is going to force me to have sex with him and I can't do anything about it.

I put my hands to his face and dig my nails into his flesh. Hoping that will get him off me but it doesn't. He rears his fist back and punches me in the face. My hands drop as if they had no bones in them at all. He moves down and starts to kiss my neck and nibble at me, if I wasn't panicking so much I'd be cringing right now and probably gagging. I punch his back and kick my legs trying anything and everything to get him off but it doesn't work. He grabs my wrists and presses them down to the bed pinning me there and I must have hurt him because I suddenly feel a rush of pain just above my collarbone. He bites me hard. My eyes water and I let out a scream "please don't" I cry. He ignores me and finally lets go of my hands probably realising I was giving up fighting as I now had a searing pain flowing through me.

He moves his hands to my top and just like an animal he tears it down the front revealing the cotton white sleep bra I’m wearing.

The sound of my phone ringing is the only thing that drowns out his grunts of pleasure. I know exactly who it is that’s ringing me. It’s Tyler. He told me to text him every hour so he knew I was ok but I haven't texted him for two hours and he did say if I don't he’d come to the house. The thing is; I was scared to text him as I didn't think it could get any worse than beating..

My phone stops and that's when I feel the rough disgusting kiss he’s placing on my chest and the horrible bites that would sure leave marks on me. A sudden surge of anger and determination rises in me; I’m not going to let him do this to me no matter what. I look down slightly to see his legs aren't even positioned correctly on my bed. My legs are in the middle of his and then it hits me just like how I was going to hit him as hard I can. My knee collides with his groin. He lets out a gasp and he falls limp on me clutching his privates. I push him off me and run and as I pass by my phone I pick it up and run and stupidly I run in the wrong direction. I run to the other side of the hallway.

I mentally slapped my head and call myself an idiot. I look behind me to see he isn't following me. Maybe I can run past my room without him catching me after all I had the advantage. I’m not drunk and well I hadn't been kneed in the groin. Making my way slowly to my bedroom I take a deep breath and run past only for him to run out after me.

He catches me by the arm and swings me into the wall. My whole body collides with the wall. My body drops to the floor in pain. In more pain than when this whole thing started which I didn't think is possible.

Everything around me blurs and I can feel myself losing consciousness. I feel so sick and black spots start to appear in my vision. I know some part of my face is bleeding as I can taste the metallic salty taste of my own blood. I’ve tasted my own blood so many times this year I’ve almost become accustomed to it. Almost.

I feel him grab my arm and position me over his shoulder like a fireman's lift. My body feels so numb as he carries me in his arms to a room but what room I don't know

I have to admit my father stays in shape. He has always cared a lot when it came to health. He would only treat himself once a week with sweet things and he went to the gym every other day and well before my mother died he only drank on the weekends. Iit wasn't a lot that he drank; he'd have two maybe three beers. So basically my dad is in good shape for his age probably why his punches hurt.

He drops me onto something soft. All I’m hoping for now is that he will leave and I can pass out knowing I haven’t lost my innocence to my father. I turn my head to see the dark blurred outlines of the skirting. That tells me I’m in the guest room as my father's room is a lilac colour and mine was well plain as I just cluttered my wall with posters.

The guest room is white with black accents. The skirting board is painted black.

Should I be pleased he’s raping me in this room rather than my own room? I know I wouldn't step foot back into my room if he did it there. Should I also be pleased that I’m going to be unconscious for it?

I watch him while I think about all this. He takes off his shirt and climb on top of me and his drunk kissed come back on me. My eyes slowly close. All I want to do is pass out. I don't want to experience any of this as it wasn't exactly how I imagined my first time

The sound of him grunting and growling is the last thing I hear as my mind start to shut off. And the last thing I felt was his body against mine and hands and mouth going to places a father's hands and mouth should never go. Ever.