Chapter 4 - The Ball (2/2)

Nikcolai

Marienne looks perfect, as always. Her dark blue dress is something a princess would wear. Her blonde hair is in an elaborate hairstyle, similar to my own mother's. Her beauty is known throughout the kingdom, and yet she takes your breath away when you first see her. As she walks around the room, she appears to float. Like an angel, I think.

I head towards her, opting to talk to her first. I'm not surprised by her warm smile when she sees me arriving. Marienne writes to me every month and her letters make it very clear that she is interested in me - and in the two of us as a couple. She looks at me like she already knows me and Ailenna's words come to mind.

Because that's what love is: knowledge.

My heart squeezes.

If Ailenna is my obsession, Marienne is my security. Her letters always manage to make me smile and it's a pleasure to answer them. I know she wants me, wants us, and that makes our relationship easier. If Ailenna enchants me by being unreachable, Marienne conquered her place by showing herself available and open to being my friend until we were something more.

• Prince Nikcolai - she smiles - Good to finally see you.

• Sorah Marienne - I smile.

• Call me Mari, my Prince.

• So, call me Nikco.

We both smile and she looks at me with the brightest blue eyes I've ever seen.

• Your hair is longer - she comments - You said you had let it grow, but I didn't imagine it already reached your shoulders.

• Do you like it?

• It looks good on you - she smiles - Again, what doesn't? You are a handsome man.

• You shouldn't praise me so much...

I don't finish the sentence, because something catches my attention behind her. A green dress enters my field of vision. She's walking next to... My father? They both go towards the food table. They seem to converse with a certain ease. I didn't know Ailenna and my father were friends.

I turn my gaze to Mari, but she had already followed my gaze. Her face no longer looks so bright and her flirtatious smile has disappeared. She clears her throat before meeting my gaze again.

-I see that my sister caught you attention.

• I didn't know she and my father were friends - I confess.

• What? - Mari laughs - Nikcolai, how long were you away?

• A few years... You know. Why do you ask?

• Because your father and Ailenna have always been friends. She is one of his weekly guests to play chess.

• Dad only invites the family to chess - I comment out loud.

• Well, your father never hid that he had a favorite - she seems a little upset about that.

• In fact, it's my mother who never hid her preference for you.

• Your mom is just sweet.

• I'm not blind, Marienne - I say, in a hard voice.

I hate being lied to. So why did I lie to Ailenna?

Damn it.

• And what? Your mother and I appreciate the same artists. We have a genuine connection.

• And not Ailenna and my father?

• I don't know - she looks angry now - But what would a girl have in common with the King?

Well, that I would have to find out.

Without saying goodbye, still angry at her attempted lie, I turn and walk away toward Ailenna and my father. Marienne's words play in my mind the whole way there. None of them see me coming, so I can hear their conversation before they notice me. And I couldn't be more surprised by the subject matter.

• That's why you must approve the law that gives those women security over their lands. They created life in that place for generations, while we can build our companies anywhere else in the country.

• I agree with you. I will raise the proposal this week with the counselors to choose a new place for... Son! - Dad sees me and smiles - Lenna and I were discussing some political measures.

Lenna. I don't miss how Dad demonstrates his intimacy with my fiancée. I focus on her before making any comments about it.

• Prince Nikcolai - she greets me, not at all inviting.

• Sorah Ailenna - I say and force a smile for my father - I didn't know you were friends with Ailenna, dad.

• We've been friends for years! - Dad tells me and laughs - That girl has great ideas, I must tell you. She is a reference in Gender and Sexuality in the country and has participated in several debates with the Council.

Debates with the Council? How come no one told me this before? No one ever told me that Ailenna was already meeting with the Council. This is something big. I myself was rarely invited to participate in those meetings. This meant that my father really appreciated Lenna's ideas, more than he appreciated the ideas of dozens of older Sorehs.

• You seem surprised, your majesty - she comments, looking at me with accusatory eyes - I thought you knew about my training.

She's not mad about it, I know. Ailenna recognized me as Soreh Victor, and now she feels betrayed. She doesn't tolerate lies, like me.

• Your fame follows you, Lenna. I just didn't know that I was already participating in debates with the Council.

• We couldn't help but consult her - Dad guarantees, looking at both of us curiously - Now, why don't the two of you don't go dancing and have some time alone?

• Do you accept, Sorah Ailenna? - I ask, looking her in the eyes. Challenging her.

She thinks for a few seconds, but then offers her hand and I lead her to the dance floor, the eyes of the entire party on the two of us. I pull her body towards mine and my hand goes to her waist, where I find the bare skin of her back. My entire body shivers and I feel the same reaction in her.

Chemical.

The orchestra starts playing traditional music from our country, which I appreciate. The melody requires bodies to be close together, so I can tilt my head to whisper in Ailenna's ear without any major drama.

• I'm sorry - I whisper - I didn't want to lie earlier...

• But he still did it - she interrupts me - Why?

I take a deep breath, trying to find the best way to tell the truth.

• Because I wanted a real piece of you - I confess - I didn't want to talk to my suitor, the always formal Sorah Ailenna. I wanted to have a few words with Lenna, the woman behind the title.

She squeezes my hand and brings her face closer to mine. I understand her gesture: she understands the feeling. She understands the need to know the other person behind the labels. After all, she said herself that she wanted to really get to know me in the garden.

I remember something else she told me and I can't control the question.

• Would you really say no to me, Lenna?

Lenna understands what I mean right away. She takes a deep breath and answers me with more sincerity than I imagined.

• If I knew I would be unhappy? Yes, I would tell you no and I wouldn't marry you - she confesses - But Nikco, I really believe we can be happy.

Me too, I think, but I choose to tell it in a more meaningful way.

• Do you remember our escape at one of the balls?

• My father had fought with me for answering a Soreh and I felt humiliated... You found me crying and took me outside - she says, remembering it.

• Do you remember what I told you?

• When you cry, something in me hurts too.

She remembers the exact words. Breaking all possible protocols, I bring your body even closer to mine.

• I may not know you, Lenna. But I want to. Because I also believe that we can be happy together. We have connection.

We dance some more and I feel like I won't get an answer. However, her voice appears once again, calming my heart.

• No lies, Nikco - she asks.

• No lies - I promise, placing a small kiss on your hair.

We danced three songs in silence, my eyes closed, trying to memorize every detail. Ailenna messes with my emotions. Everything with her is very raw, very intense and instinctive. It's confusing and, at the same time, attractive - because my body and hers seams to recognize each other. Only our minds struggle, circle and test each other.

And I had twelve months to understand what that meant.