IX. In the Embrace of Uncertainty

She followed closely behind, chewing on her lips in nervousness.

Being taken had been horrible and having to fight for her life had been terrifying. The scent of blood was still heavy and the reminder sent a bone chilling shiver down her spine.

Still, she had been hopeful that the ordeal had at least brought her and her future husband closer together. She had felt it, the possibility of falling in love, or at least of enjoying each other's presence.

But he had ruined the moment and ripped it apart with his ghastly attitude.

They arrived to the camp soon and Eksel shoved the reigns of his horse to a lean looking man.

"Make sure she gets some water," He grunted, grimacing when he turned to Elva.

He tilted his head to Sten, who appeared beside them as if he could evaporate and reappear in seconds.

"Get her some food and then meet me by the creek, I need you to patch me up."

Sten nodded, pursing his lips when he saw the nasty gush of blood that still dripped down his body.

Elva felt cast aside and couldn't help but bite her cheek in shame. He was going back to the place where they had just been. She was the problem, she concluded. He didn't want her.

She dug her nails into her palms, shifting from foot to foot as she waited for Sten. He walked to the group of men that sat around and retrieved a plate.

As he brought it to her, his eyes travelled the length of her body. She shuddered as he studied her and tightened her arms around her body.

He shoved off his coat, "I do not think Agnar would appreciate you wearing that."

She looked down at the thin dress that covered her. She had ripped off the long sleeves and taken down the collar. It was definitely more revealing than it was before but she frowned.

He hadn't said anything to her, so she wondered how Sten would know better.

But she was freezing, so she took the coat from Sten's hands, then the plate and found a trunk to sit at.

Sten clicked is tongue at one of the men, a redhead with striking green eyes and nodded toward her.

"Keep an eye on her."

The redhead nodded, chewing the last spoonful he had shoved into his mouth. Elva recoiled when he approached and sat beside her.

A wide grin spread across his face, revealing a missing tooth and a scar that ran down his lips.

"Do we scare ya?" He teased, shoving another spoonful of food into his mouth.

Elva swallowed the lump in her throat, her nostrils flaring. She shook her head, though she hardly believed the movement herself.

The man barked a laugh, "I'm Sigrid."

"E-elva," She whispered, finally taking a bite of her food.

It felt like ash in her mouth and tasted like it, too. Her stomach was still sour and her body ached in places she had never ached before. She kept her eyes skidding across the horizon, hoping to see that black haired man she had become accustomed to.

She chewed her food absentmindedly, pushing it around her mouth with her tongue.

"You saw Halfdan, didn't you?"

She drew back, looking up at his green eyes. They roamed her face as if he felt bad for what she had to see.

"He had you?"

Her lips trembled as she remembered his white eyes and blood covered mouth.

Sigrid lifted his lips and waved his hand in front of his mouth, "He would put the blood of his victims in his mouth. Said he like the taste of their defeat."

Elva gasped.

"We're not good men by any means, but Halfdan was something else."

Elva swallowed the last bit of food she could, still hoping for Eksel's appearance.

She had learned by now that he would be the only one that could stop her body from trembling. Still, she tightened the coat around herself trying to warm herself.

It didn't help much and eventually began to knock her knees together as she shivered. The sun was descending, and darkness began to cover them. Still, her betrothed did not return.

"Will we travel at night?" She whispered to Sigrid.

Sigrid frowned as he narrowed his gaze to the horizon and shook his head. He looked over his shoulder, calling to the men. One stood form his spot and took off to the creek where Eksel and Sten had gone to.

"We don't unless necessary," He threw the empty plate to the ground and stretched as he stood up.

"Oh," Elva began to worry, wondering what was taking them so long to return.

"Don't worry we'll get you married to Agnar in no time."

Her insides turned at the prospect, her chest spiking in nerves and her nostrils flaring, "C-can you tell me more about him?"

"Who? Agnar?"

Elva nodded.

He grimaced, "He's a braggart."

Elva's eyes widened and Sigrid regretted his words.

"Uh, please don't tell him I said that."

"H-he's a braggart?"

"Never seen a man boast so much about his winnings."

Elva frowned, "Don't you all brag?"

Sigrid laughed, "Yes, but at least we actually fight. Agnar does nothing but bark orders. He steps in at the last minute to play the part, but he mostly expects everyone else to do the dying for him."

That didn't line up with what she had seen him do earlier and her frown deepened. Sigrid noticed her troubled look and sighed, sitting back down beside her.

"He wasn't always like that but he changed a lot when his father died and he took over as Jarl," He lifted his lips in a scowl when he mentioned the title.

"You don't like him?" She questioned, licking her lips.

Sigrid eyed her as if just now realizing he was speaking ill of her future husband. He would have his head on a spike if she told him the things he was saying.

"He has some redeeming qualities, I'm sure. The women don't complain, so maybe you have something to look forward to."

Elva's lips parted and her cheeks heated. Something akin to jealousy flourished in her chest, but it slowly turned to distress.

She was a fool. Of course a man like him had women lining up to be with him. Of course he was much more experienced than she was. She wondered if she was enough. Enough for him. Enough to even entice him.

She looked down at her lap, staring at her fingers as she intertwined them painfully. The Danes were barbaric. The fact that she though this would be a normal marriage was even more naive than she believed herself to be.

Her body shivered violently as her only hope for her future life crumbled in front of her. All she could hope now would be for them to be at least friendly. Falling in love didn't seem like an option any more.

"They're back," Sigrid stood as he spoke, nodding toward the horizon.

Elva inhaled sharply, looking toward the three figures that neared them. Eksel was the largest and he seemed to stumble as he walked. Her heart leaped to her throat. She couldn't control the fear that racked her brain.

Sten spoke as he approached, "We're staying here for the night. He needs more rest."

Eksel's dark eyes found her and she gasped when she saw the pain painted in them so clearly. He was tired and she knew his body must ache more than hers did.

The men moved around them, setting up tents and preparing a fire. Eksel helped as much as he could, grunting with a scowl whenever Sten attempted to get him to stop.

Elva could only fiddle with her fingers, watching the chaos as they set up camp.

The first tent was set and Eksel approached her, breathing heavily through his nostrils.

“You can go in there,” He pointed to the tent.

Elva kept her gaze on him, wanting to reach out and soothe the lines of pain on his face.

“There should be a bowl of water if you want to wash your face, I’ll be right back with some clothes.”

Elva only nodded and walked into the tent. The ground was covered in skins, and just like he said, there was a large bowl of water. Her face suddenly warmed and she realized how cold her skin had gotten since the sun began to set.

The tent stopped the wind from reaching her and she soon began to feel the warmth through to her bones.

She washed her hands and face, grimacing when the water turned brown. The creek had done little to clean her of dirt, though it had helped her with the blood. Picking up a rag by the bowl to dry, she looked around the space.

The pile of skins that served a bed had her face blushing. How many women had he taken here, and when would he take her? Would it happen now? Tonight?

She pushed some strands of hair behind her ears, and Eksel came waltzing in the tent with a bundle of fabric draped across his arm.

He grunted as he dropped his arm from holding the tent open and Elva exhaled in relief. There was no way he would be able to do anything to her tonight.

"That will have to do for now. When we get to Gleneg, you'll have your choice of clothes," His tone was short as he roughly threw the clothes in her direction,

Elva looked at him with a frown, as she sat on the ground, wondering where his gentle side had gone. She chewed on her lips thoughtfully, thinking of what she could say in this moment. But her voice was caught in her throat and no words came out.

He watched her for a moment and nodded curtly before he walked back out of the tent. Her heart sank. She wouldn't be able to make anymore progress with him today, if ever.

She looked down at the clothes he had thrown to her, sniffling a a laugh when she realized he had given her his clothes.

"How on earth is this supposed to fit me?"

She looked at the entrance for a second before quickly shoving off her dress and throwing the large shirt over her head. It reached her knees and she decided that would be enough for the night.

Her eyes drooped with exhaustion and she would figure out how to wear the paints in the morning. Right now all she wanted to do was lay down and close her eyes.

And dream of a better future.

Everything looked so bleak, and escaping was something she craved fiercely. She was thankful she had spoken to Sigrid. Though is words had stung like a slap to the face, at least it had brought her back to reality.

Daydreaming about that wild man that had captivated her with instances of tenderness was leading her nowhere good. She had to protect her heart. She knew she was naive and she knew she was vulnerable.

Still, she fell asleep to thoughts of him.