Chapter 23
When Alyson got back home, she was exhausted after a long day at work, but as she walked through the door, something seemed off. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something was definitely different. She put her things down and wandered into the kitchen, where she found her mother sitting at the countertop, a bottle of alcoholic wine in front of her.
This was unusual. Her mother had never been a drinker, so the sight of her nursing a glass of wine at 6 pm was strange, to say the least. Alyson cleared her throat and spoke up.
"Mom, is everything okay?"
"Yes, of course," her mother said, but Alyson could tell she was hiding something. She sat down at the table and looked her mother in the eye.
"Mom, I know something's up. Please, just tell me what's going on."
Her mother hesitated for a moment, then sighed. "I've been feeling so stressed lately. I know I should be able to handle it, but it's just been really difficult."
"Is it about dad?" Alyson said.
Lucy burst into uncontrollable tears at the mention of Richard's name.
"It's just... It's just" Her mother attempted to speak amid sobs but couldn't find the words.
Alyson put her hand over her mother and tried to console her. "It's okay mom. I understand."
"No you don't. You don't understand," her mother said as she cried more.
Even though Alyson couldn't completely understand how much her mom was hurting, she really tried to imagine how it felt. She knew her mom was really heartbroken because of what her dad did. Alyson realized her dad was selfish and didn't care about them. She believed her mom deserved better. While it was good that her dad was gone, Alyson worried about how much it hurt her mom emotionally.
"I know I don't understand how you feel and I know as well that you're trying to forget him but you don't have to resort to drinking," Alyson said as she tried to take the bottle of wine away from her but her mother held unto it firmly.
"I want to forget him, Alyson. I have to, else I won't be able to move on..."
"I love him so much," Lucy's wails increased.
Alyson, moved by her mother's pain, went to get tissues. As she turned, she noticed more wine bottles stacked in cartons at a corner in the kitchen.
"Ma!" Alyson exclaimed. "What are you doing with so much alcohol?"
"Trying to forget your father," Lucy replied non chalantly as she took the tissue from Alyson and wiped her nose with it.
"I know, but this much isn't healthy..." Alyson expressed her concern. "What if you don't forget him? You gonna drink yourself to stupor?"
Lucy was silent as she continued to cry while sipping from her bottle.
"Ma, if this is what you're going to be using the money I'm going to be giving to you to do, I'm afraid I won't give you any money at all." Alyson affirmed.
Lucy took another sip before she went on to say. "No, Aly. I won't buy more alcohol after these ones. I promise."
The alcohol had started to take its effect on her as her eyes could barely stay open. Within minutes, she had fallen asleep with the half empty bottle in hand. Alyson quietly took the bottle from her mother and emptied the remaining contents into the sink.
"Ma...Ma wake up," Alyson shook her mother trying to get her to wake up. Seeing that her mother wasn't waking up anytime soon, she helped her into her bedroom where she dozed off till the next afternoon.
A month had passed and Lucy's drinking habit had become worse. She started to question if her taking a job wasn't a curse because she was aware that her mother depended on her and the little she got, she lavished everything on alcohol. For the past one month, Alyson had been the one restocking the kitchen and paying the bills around the house, her mother barely saved.
Tess had been really supportive, giving her daily allowances on most days and the days she couldn't, Alyson didn't get angry over it.
Alyson arrived from work one day, opened the front door and stepped into the house, the smell hit her like a brick wall. She gagged, covering her nose with her hand. She followed the stench into the living room, where she found her mother sprawled on the floor, reeking of vomit and alcohol. Her eyes were half-closed, and she was mumbling incoherently.
Alyson felt a surge of anger rise up inside her. How could her mother do this to herself? How could she let herself get into this state? She wanted to scream at her, to shake her and make her see sense. But instead, she took a deep breath and tried to remain calm. She knew that yelling at her mother would only make the situation worse. So instead, she turned and went to get a bucket and some cleaning supplies. She came back and began cleaning up the mess, all the while trying not to look at her mother's face.
Finally, when the mess was cleared up, she went to her mother and helped her up off the floor. "Come on, ma," she said, as gently as she could. "Let's get you to bed."
Her mother was barely conscious, but she allowed Alyson to lead her into the bedroom. Alyson helped her get changed into her pajamas and into bed. She pulled the covers up to her mother's chin and then sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Ma," she said, her voice breaking. "Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you drinking like this?"
Her mother opened her eyes and looked at her daughter. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice raspy. "I just... I don't know. I can't stop."
Alyson felt her heart breaking for her mother. She knew that her mother had been struggling with depression for a long time, but this was the first time she had seen her like this. "I'm here for you, ma," she said, taking her mother's hand. "I'm not going to let you do this to yourself. We're going to get you help."
Her mother just looked at her, tears welling up in her eyes. "I don't know if I can be helped," she said, her voice breaking. "I'm just so tired."
Alyson squeezed her mother's hand and then stood up. "I'm going to make you some soup," she said. "You need to eat something, and then you need to rest. I'm going to be right here with you, okay?"
Her mother just nodded, closing her eyes. Alyson left the room and went to the kitchen to heat up some soup. As she stood there, waiting for the soup to heat up, she couldn't help but feel helpless. She didn't know how to help her mother, and she was scared of what would happen if she couldn't.
Once the soup was ready, Alyson carried it back to her mother's room. She sat down on the bed and gently helped her mother sit up. "Just take a few sips," she said, holding the spoon to her mother's lips.
Slowly, her mother began to sip the soup. Alyson watched her, relieved that she was at least getting something into her body. After a few minutes, her mother pushed the spoon away. "I can't," she said. "I'm sorry."
Alyson set the soup aside and sat back down on the bed. "It's okay," she said, taking her mother's hand again. "I just want you to know that I love you, no matter what. And I'm going to be here for you, no matter what."
Her mother looked at her, tears still shining in her eyes. "I love you too, Alyson," she said. "I'm just... I'm scared. I don't know how to get better."
"We'll figure it out together," Alyson said. "We'll get you the help you..."
"I don't know if I can be helped," her mother said again.
The next day, Alyson had arrived the house to find her mother in a worse situation. After the talk they had, Lucy had promised to give up drinking as it was taking a toll on her health. But she was utterly disappointed to find that not only was her mother covered in her vomit but she had totally passed out.
The floor in front of her mother was littered with five empty alcohol bottles. Alyson looked for a rag and gradually made her way across the floor minding where she stepped on, she was caution so she wouldn't step into her mother's vomit. She used the rag in picking up the bottles as they were soaked in vomit. She disposed the bottles and went into the kitchen to look for all the unopened drinks her mother had not touched. She took them to the kitchen, carefully opening them and emptied the contents of each one down the sink. She carried the empty bottles to the trash and threw it out. She was careful not to break the bottles so it wouldn't harm the person that was going to take out the trash.
She came back into the house, took the rag and a bucket filled with water. She put in a little soap into it and mopped her mother's vomit off the floor. She hated that she had soil her hands with her Mother's vomit but she knew she had to if she wanted to get her mother cleaned up.