Chapter Three
I was sitting at the small table in Joe’s kitchen when he slid an envelope across the table, and I saw my name written on the front. “What’s this?”
“This week’s wages,” he said, and I blinked a few times.
“I’m working my debt off, remember.”
Joe grinned. “How much do you think one window costs?”
“I’m not complaining, Joe, I’m just surprised.” I hadn’t thought about the window being paid off at some point. I liked being there too much.
He motioned for me to follow him and I climbed through the ropes of the boxing ring. Joe handed me a pair of gloves and helped to lace them up. They felt good on my hands, the weight of them felt natural.
“You’re a good kid, Kage, when you want to be. Aggression isn’t the answer and these fights you get into, they aren’t fights at all. I think you’re being beat up,” Joe said, and his gaze was hard.
“I don’t ask about your personal life,” I said. I felt embarrassed and my default setting was to go on the defense.
“Talk to me, don’t talk me, it’s up to you. I’m not your father and I’m not going to pressure you into talking. I’ve got enough problems of my own but if you wanted to talk, I’d listen.” I could hear the honesty in his voice and defeat took over.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. Roger gets drunk and usually I’m just in his way. I have a roof over my head, and he feeds me better than others did. Trust me, I’ve been through worse, this is nothing compared to what I’ve lived through.” It was the most honest I’d ever been with someone else.
“I’m sure you have, doesn’t make it right. The fact that you’ve seen worse is the problem, Kage.” I wasn’t used to this, to someone caring enough to tell me that my situation was wrong.
“No shit, Joe, that’s life though. I mean, what else am I supposed to do?”
“Fight back.” I started to laugh at the serious look on his face.
“Roger’s bigger than me,” I said.
“Fighting back doesn’t always have to be with your fists. I know you’re not stupid. I’ve seen you memorize combinations and doing them perfectly on the bag.” I lowered my head. I had no idea that he had noticed because I did it when I was supposed to be working.
“There’s no other way to fight back. I’d rather stay with Roger and know what I’ll get when I go home then go to another group home or a new foster family where I don’t know what’s waiting for me.” My voice was low, and I was still looking at the floor.
“Shit, kid. How bad was it?”
“Why? So you can feel sorry for me?” My anger was evident, but Joe remained impassive.
“Why are you so angry, Kage?” He lifted his arms and we went through the motions of punches and blocks, the same thing he did with the men that came to the gym. I hadn’t even noticed how naturally the moves came, all from watching him for the past two months.
“I’m angry at the world!” I was so pissed off and I lowered my hands. He hit me in the ribs, and I grunted and moved out of his way.
“Why?” he yelled at me.
“Because this shouldn’t happen to anyone!” I yelled back.
“What happened?” he asked me gently.
“A lot of shit, Joe.” My voice was softer now and I hated that I wanted to tell him everything.
“Get it out of your system. Hit me, hit the bag, scream if you need to, just get it out,” he said.
That night, we stayed in that boxing ring for almost two hours as I punched Joe wherever I could land a shot. He kept his arms up and that’s mostly where I hit him. He didn’t hit me back once and at some point, I had started to cry. My thoughts were filled with memories of Lorraine and the mounting frustration and anger spilled out.
I sat down on the floor of the boxing ring and the gloves came up to cover my face. “She raped me.”
“Shit.” Joe sat down next to me and the next moment he wrapped himself around me.
My shoulders shook as I cried on his shoulder and he let me. He just sat there with me until I was cried out. He wiped my face with his t-shirt and then he looked me, staring into my eyes and I saw the anger in them.
“That should never happen to anyone, Kage, and to keep it inside will kill you. I’m here for whatever you need.” I’d never seen Joe angry before, but he was livid now.
“It’s the first time I’ve ever said that out loud,” I confessed.
“Do you want to go to the police? Talk to your counselor perhaps?”
I shook my head. “No, it’ll be my word against hers and I have no proof of what she did.”
“What about the next kid?” he asked me.
“She’s got a record now. She’ll never foster another child again.” It had been the one thing that had made me felt better about the whole situation.
“If you change your mind, I’ll be with you every step of the way. I believe you, Kage,” he said.
He would never know what his words meant to me. In that moment, I loved Joe. I loved him like I’d never loved before because I hadn’t. Joe became the one thing I focused on and it seemed he felt the same way.
He took me under his wing and from then on, I only worked for a few hours and trained with him. I grew a few more inches and I had no idea when I stopped drinking and smoking. It had just happened. Joe didn’t do either and he was the only example I had of what type of person to be.
I would be ripped from Joe sooner than I thought but Joe would always be a fortress in my life. Joe was safe and kind, and he’d saved me from a destructive path that would have ended my life before I was even old enough to have really lived.