Sam POV

Sam POV

I was sleeping, dreaming at this point or a little between the dream and waking world.

There was blood, the face of a little girl.

Sarah I think, I remembered her pictures black hair gray eyes, slim and quite a happy teenager only at least until she's found in a dumpster body rotted black and dead very much dead.

Ringing jerked me up from sleep, it felt like I was falling out of my skin. I reached for the phone and out it to my ear.

" Sam Ford what do you want" I growled and they answered. Another day begun.

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration, the lights were too bright, blue and red , swirling around in that cheap plastic glass, the warning that they were supposed to be . I was glad the sirens were off, I hated noise, the jarring sensation of having been in the embrace of something for so long maybe too long in fact that it made you nauseous to look at it.

" You going in or not " someone asks besides me and I sigh

" You don't need to push me to the finish line I'm going " I muttered annoyed. The uniform coo that is standing behind the do not cross tape looks at me funny, I stalk up to him show him my badge and pass under the tape

" Anything new" I ask the boy because that is what he is, a boy with a fresh face and eager eyes. This is likely his first homicide, I'm not sure he even know what it looks like to see blood smeared on surfaces on bloated black skin, on limp broken bodies.

" No sir, just what was found " he replied slowly as if he was not sure what I was and he wanted to tread carefully.

I have be doing this for over ten years, each of those incidents are lodged in my brain so deeply I can't get rid of them even if I wanted to.

And there were days when I wanted to so badly that my service weapon had seemed like a very good way to end it all.

" You would have done it too if not for me you weak willed bastard"

" Of course let's go there" I mumbled to my partner as I moved to stalk away, the boys face etched in my mind and I realized why he'd been staring at me like a demon from hell.

I had no partner, Terry had been dead for at least a year now, his ghost or at least that what I had named his voice that I stilled heard in my head all this while.

His ghost still like to follow me around and pass judgement on what I did– like my attempts at suicide. Sometimes he like to sit in on my therapy sessions, he said that he kept me honest but I think he mostly scared my therapist especially when he made me enter full fledge arguments with him by the end of it.

" That boy thinks you're crazy" he grinned and I laughed

" And yet you delight in making me seem even more crazy" I mumbled, he laughed

" I love you man and I think you need to live a little"

" Do you bug your family this way " I asked and he sighed

" You need me more" I had nothing to say in return, did I need him, maybe I did. I didn't have close family, in fact the way I'd lived for most of my life was work and home.

Terry had been my safe spot and maybe losing that was something I was still learning to cope with.

I gathered at the crime scene, pulling out a cigarette from my pocket

" So what do we have"

" Some guys dog found a bone when he broken his chain to play, the owner followed him and found this" the CSI guy said gesturing to the sand.

I looked at the ash the floor, and huffed burnt body then, it seemed our killer like to clean up after himself. For me that was good in a way, no graphic images, no blood, no sunken faces that would stare at me back in my dreams.

" All the bone found yet" I asked and he shook his head snapping at the scene again

" No, we have bones, they're many of them,in fact at this point I'm almost certain we have more than one body out here" he replied and I sighed

"Estimate" I asked and he shrugged

" Two maybe three" he replied and I nodded back at him looked around the place. I wanted to light the cigarettes, but that didn't seem like the thing to do right now so I just looked around.

The scene was fine , didn't appear to be tampered with, if they were boot marks, I couldn't see any of them now the ash was spread over a distance, either the person hadn't being trying too hard to hide this or he had not cared at all either way it was scary.

" When can I get reports" I asked and he shrugged

" It depends, could take a week, could be more" he offered and I sighed

" That's fine, get back to me " I said and pulled away from the crowd. The noise was getting to be too much and I wanted away from it

"New sicko" Terry hissed and I sighed

" Isn't it always " I replied and he scoffed

" Yes maybe " i stalled

" I'm not really sure what the hell I'm still doing as a cop, so much death and you would think I'd let the job go"

" Well you can't, being a cop is not your job, it's your life to help people and I respect that so much."

" You should see it as something good Sam" he said softly.

I didn't hear anything else, he seemed to have disappeared.

I knew he would come back, he always did but for now I was alone with the thoughts and the memories in my head.

I did love being a cop, I loved the fact that I could make people pay, for the crimes they had committed and maybe yes in my death bed my last memories would be of some men that I didn't really know, bodies and blood but at least the criminals would be caught. That was all I could ask for at the moment.

I lit the cigarettes, and took a small pull letting out the smoke almost immediately

" You really shouldn't be smoking here" a voice said and I sighed

" Come on Terry give me a break" I muttered

" Well if I was Terry I would but I'm not so no smoking" I jerked and turned to face the woman talking to me, she looked gorgeous, had a small smile on her face that she immediately tried to erase looking away from me as she did and I frowned

" Who are you and what are you doing here" I asked, she wasn't a cop, she wasn't wearing a uniform and she was too god-damn happy. She raised her ID to me and pulled it away so fast that I barely got to read a thing or I shouldn't have anyway

" Camilla Hayes " I murmured and she smiled

" I'm impressed, most people can't even see the first letter"

" But–" I mumbled and she hissed

" It's Camille Hayes " I nodded, it was a beautiful name, fit the woman that had it, she was tall, almost my height, her eyes were a soft blue with some light in them like she was always laughing. It was weird no one was always laughing and i couldn't understand it at all

" So who are you and why are you in my crime scene" I asked and she shrugged

" Well I'm an investigative journalist and this is a crime scene, ergo" she muttered pointing around the space.

This woman was an investigative journalist, it was hard to believe considering she was smiling at me like I'd just made her day. She couldn't see dead bodies all the time , write about gruesome deaths and still look like she believed in Santa could she.

" That's called nit taking your work home with you" Terry whispered and I scoffed

" That's impossible"

She frowned at me

" I'm sorry what " I shook my head quickly

" I'm sorry not you"

" Well there's no one here so I can't see who you are talking to " she replied and I stalled, could not go through that explanation in how I was talking to my friend who had been dead for a year now, that would be crazy to explain and I couldn't even bring myself to admit it at all. I took a puff of my cigarettes

" Well I'm not sure what you're looking for here, we only just found the body" I said and she grinned

" Well there's enough for me to know that it's likely bodies not body" she grinned and i laughed

" You're really good at this " she shrugged

" It's my job"

" Well, your job is going to have to wait at least until we get more information" I pulled my cigarettes and she hissed

" Ok that's fine but aren't you going to stop smoking that " she asked and I sighed

" I don't know why"

" Because it can kill you"

I leaned into her stalking over her with a slight smile

" And you're worried for my health huh" I asked she smiled reached for the stick and took a small pull herself

" No not really, just it would be sad if you died. You're cute" she smiled tossing it to the ground and stepping on it with her heel. And she walked away.