Chapter Three - I am supposed to be over him.
McKenna
I have stayed hidden in my room all night. Carter and Paxton were away to bed now. I know because they stopped in to say goodnight. Now, I know I won’t run into Paxton I can go and get a bite to eat. I don’t even know why I am avoiding him. Things are okay after our little talk. It is late, and I don’t usually eat at this time, but I am hungry, and I don’t sleep well either.
I may go for a swim first. I love swimming in the dark, not complete darkness; the backdoor is pretty well-lit. I find my bikini, changing into it and pulling an oversized tee over me. I make sure to lift a towel, too and quietly make my way downstairs. I don’t want to wake anyone.
I grab a banana to munch on as I head outside. I don’t want anything too heavy when I am going to be swimming. I will get something better once I am done. I glance up at the sky and smile; the stars are so pretty and bright tonight. I love the stars; they have always brought me a comfort which I never understood. The back lights automatically come on.
I don’t mind swimming here because my brother’s backyard is secure with high fences and trees, so no one can see it. If they could, I wouldn’t be so comfortable. I set my things down, finish eating and climb into the pool. It is a bit cold, but I don’t mind. I love the water; it helps relax me. I swim nearly every night because it helps tire me out.
I swim a couple of lengths before I stop, only to rest against the pool wall and admire the night sky.
“I see you are still obsessed with the stars?”
The voice made me jump and squeal. I glance over and see Paxton standing by the pool, smiling at me.
“Yes. What are you doing up? I thought you were asleep. I didn’t wake you, did I?”
He shakes his head, “I was awake and heard you go downstairs. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn’t expect to find you swimming.” He says, chuckling at the last part.
I swim over to where he stands and turn to face him, my arms on the ground but the rest of my body still in the water.
“I swim nearly every night. It helps me sleep.” I reply.
“Is it not freezing?”
“Judge for yourself.” I snicker and throw some water at him.
“Hey! Mean!” he huffs.
I shrug and giggle, “You asked.”
“Yes, if it was cold, not for you to soak me.” He laughs.
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”
I swim away, laughing to myself. I dive under the water and swim to the other side. When I come up from the water, he is nowhere to be seen. He must have gone back inside. I rest against the wall, and suddenly, he emerges from under the water. How did I not hear him jump in?
“I thought you went back inside.”
He shook his head and came closer to me, his hands resting at each side of my head. I swallow hard at the closeness, hoping he will not notice the effect he is having on me.
“No, I wanted a swim. You don’t mind I have joined, do you?” he asks softly.
I bite on my lip, “No, I don’t mind.”
“Good.” He whispers.
I expect him to back away, but he doesn’t. He stares at me with a look in his eyes I haven’t seen before. It is making me nervous. I bow my head because if I continue to look him in the eyes, I may do something stupid like try to kiss him, and that would be embarrassing because he would reject me. I am supposed to be over him, so why are all these familiar feelings stirring again?
“T-t-this isn’t you swimming.” I breathe out.
I watch as a sexy little smirk rises on his lips, “No, I guess not.”
He finally backs up and begins to swim. I take a moment to catch my breath and pull it together before I join him. I didn’t think I would be doing this again, spending time with Paxton. It is strange but nice. I have missed him.
We have been swimming for nearly an hour. Not only swimming but messing around, too, but it is getting really cold now.
“I don’t know about you, but I am going to get out.”
“Yes, me too.” He agrees.
I become a little anxious because I know he is going to see me in a bikini out of the water. It is different from seeing it in the water; there is more on show out of it. I quickly climb out, and when I do, I feel his eyes on my ass. Is he checking me out? Surely not. Why would he? I have seen the type of woman he has in his arms. They could all be Victoria’s Secret or catwalk models. They are beautiful and perfect, unlike me.
I pick my towel up and look in his direction to find him staring at me, his eyes scanning over my body, and his tongue darts from his mouth along his lips. I quickly wrap my towel around me. I am not imagining things; he is checking me out.
Paxton climbed out of the pool, and it was my turn to look. Those abs are spectacular; they weren’t there the last time I saw him. I swear he is getting better-looking with age. I pull my eyes away before he catches me and strolls inside.
I hear him come in after me a moment later.
“I am going to make something to eat. Do you want anything?” I ask.
“No, I am okay. I may have some hot chocolate, though. Would you like one?”
I nod, “Yes, please.”
He excuses himself to grab a towel and change. I do the same in the kitchen. I take some shorts from the dryer and put my tee back on. I go into the fridge and notice a couple of tubs with my name on it. Carter must have made extra for me; he usually does, even if I tell him I don’t want anything. One had salmon, rice, and vegetables in it, but it was a little heavy for this time of night. The other was a salad. Yes, that is better. I plate it up, tossing on a little more cheese and a few slices of ham.
Paxton reappears in grey sweatpants and a hoodie. I try my best not to get too distracted by it and hop up on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. Paxton makes our hot chocolates and joins me.
“Tell me, Kenna, what have you been doing with yourself?” he asks.
“Not much. Classes are finished for the summer. I lost my job and apartment a couple of months ago, and that is why I am here. And that is about it. Nothing exciting. I would ask you the same thing, but I know.” I say softly.
He sighs, “Yeah, I haven’t been making the best choices in life recently.”
“No. Why is that? I haven’t seen much, but enough to know those things aren’t you.” I whisper.
“I guess the fame has gotten too much for me.” He answers simply.
I believe there is more to the story, but I won’t force him if he doesn’t want to tell me.
“Yes. Just don’t lose who you completely were, Paxton. You are one of the good guys; don’t let your lifestyle ruin you.”
I don’t know if it is already too late.
“I wish it were that simple, but I don’t want to discuss it.” He says, his walls going back up.
“Okay, sorry. I won’t bring it up again.” I reply and concentrate on my food.
“Thank you. No one special in your life?” he asks.
I shake my head, “Nope. My last relationship didn’t end well. I am staying away from men for now.” I reply honestly.
“Why, what happened? I am sure Carter mentioned it, and from what I have heard, Carter was not a fan.”
“No, he was not. I should have listened to him. He turned out to be a lying, cheating and controlling bastard. I was with him for about a year until I had enough and left.”
I have always had horrible taste in me. I haven’t been with many, only two, but both were the same; assholes who treated me like shit.
“I am sorry you were with someone like that, Kenna. You deserve much better. A man who takes care of you and treats you right.” He says softly and places his hand over mine.
“Thank you. For now, though, I am fine on my own. I need to find a better job. I don’t have time for guys.”
“I am sure you will find him when you least expect it.” He smiles.
I shrug, “Maybe. What about you? Any secret love life the entire world doesn’t know about?”
“No. There was someone, but it didn’t work out. It wasn’t me she was interested in. It was the money and the life I could give her.”
I can hear the sadness in his voice.
“I am sorry, Paxton. She sounds like a bitch. You don’t need that in your life.”
I bet there have been many people who have used him. It is heartbreaking, really.
“No, I do not. So, I don’t do serious relationships now.”
“No, you just do models.” I tease, wanting to lighten the mood.
Paxton laughs loudly, “I do not.” He protests.
I raise my brow at him, “Really? I have seen the photos.”
A devilish smile rises on his lips, “So you have been stalking me?” he chuckles.
“I have not! You are just always everywhere; it is hard not to know what you are doing.” I reply.
“If that is the excuse you are sticking to.” He smirks.
I flip him off and turn back to my food. He laughs. It is nice we can still talk and joke without issue, even after all these years.