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Chapter 5

“Knock knock, fairy godmother here to prepare you for the ball, Luna Anne let me in” I hear Luca announce himself while he enters my room holding two garment bags when he sees me he shakes his head at my appearance. I'm sitting in front of my dresser staring at my mirror completely lost at how to tackle today. After yelling at my dad last night I felt too guilty to come down and face them, I heard my mom soothing him saying I was probably just emotional because its ‘that time of the month’ and I’m anxious about turning 18 and meeting my mate and going through my first shift

It's partly true, I'm not on my period but I am terrified of what today brings. An 18th birthday should be a young wolf's most exciting day, it is usually the day they meet their mate but more importantly at the stroke of midnight they go through their first shift into their wolf form. I am incredibly excited to shift, knowing once I gain my wolf it will be easier for me to build muscle and I'll be stronger than ever. I am terrified of meeting my mate.

My mate will take over for my father as Alpha when he is ready to step down and I will be his Luna. My fated union needs to be strong and true so we can lead this pack together.

However I am sure that whomever I am mated to will reject me, even if I am fated by the moon goddess to him, he will surely be a straight male expecting a soft and sweet luna, but that is not who I am even though I can never live truthfully as a man like I crave I will still never be the feminine woman he wants, and once he figures that out how could he possibly love and accept me.

Once I heard my parents go to bed last night I snuck down to the gym and continued my regular routine with the weights and the punching bag but this time I didn't stop when I was tired, even when I could barely keep my eyes open and follow through with my punches I kept going until I heard the warriors on night patrol switch shifts around 4am.

I knew some of the warriors liked to workout before they went to sleep after a patrol shift to ground themselves after having to be so wired to stay alert during all hours of the night on patrol so I ran back up to my room and collapsed into bed. Now I sit here with dark circles around my eyes and bloody knuckles, which I know my mother will be horrified when she sees.

“So you asked me to pick your outfit for today and I brought two options, I know you've never been one for anything super feminine so I got this simple black dress, not too fitted and a square neckline so it won't be too revealing for your bust or curves” Luca unzipped one of the bags and the dress was beautiful but not overly feminine, if I had to wear a dress this would be it. I went to thank Luca but he held his finger up stopping me.

“Oh no, before you thank me I have another option, this one is a gift from me, now I could be completely wrong but I saw how you looked at that mannequin yesterday and it gave me an idea, now I can't afford to buy you that tux but I bought you the pocket square and tie as a gift, now the tux it was mine that I wore at my senior prom but I think it's perfect for you” Luca unzips the second garment bag and I feel my heart stop beating.

“What Luca, this..this. I don't know what to say.. I” I cant stop stuttering and I'm not sure whether to panic or hug Luca for this incredible gift. Luca decides for me and wraps me in a hug.

“Now Willa choosing the suit instead of the dress won't mean anything unless you want it to but I would love to see you in this” he encourages and I nod my head still not sure how to process, he steps into the ensuite to gather all my make-up and hair styling products giving me a chance to change. Fishing the tux out of the bag I see on the hanger under the dress shirt is a chest binder, a real chest binder not just a too small bra. Im giddy with excitement and hurriedly get dressed up, I tuck my hair back into a low pony and as I'm adjusting my tie and absorbing my reflection in the mirror Luca walks back over to me.

“Well doesn't he look handsome, he can't tie a tie to save his life though” Luca chuckles re-tying my bow tie and then I realise exactly what it is that he said. “What should I call this handsome man in front of me?”

“Roman” I whisper and Luca smiles down at me encouraging me. He swings me back around to face the mirror and really take it all in. I feel like for the first time ever I'm seeing myself in my reflection not some girl burdened with expectation but me.

“My name is Roman Andrews, son of Alpha Romeo and Luna Anne, future Alpha of the Silver Eclipse Pack” I've never said that out loud but as much as it terrifies me I feel lighter than air, the relief and pure joy flooding through me is pure euphoria. Until I hear a knock on the door and it swings open.

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