Chapter three
Emma's pov
"Oh please, there is nothing attractive about you so why should I stare?" Lucas said as he rolled his eyes. Who the hell is this guy and where is he from? "You don't know what you just signed up for, I will make your life unbearable here",I threatened. He only smirked and turned away. I know I am beautiful but the way Lucas said I am not attractive hurt me and I will revenge. I'm Emma Star, the girl who's been labeled as intimidating and unapproachable by my school mates. They see my sharp jaw, my piercing gaze and my confident stride. But they don't see the exhaustion that way me down, the pain that lingers in my joint and the anxiety that grips my heart. I've learned to carry my vulnerabilities and struggles under strength and determination.
Nobody knows what am going through. I mean I don't even have friends, every one is afraid of me. Despite my tough exterior, I'm just a girl trying to survive in a world that nobody understands me. I'm a girl fighting to stay healthy and sane. And anyone brave enough to look beyond fear and rumors will see the real me. A girl who is scared , broken and fragile. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia two years ago, it is condition that causes fatigue, exhaustion, sleep disturbance, brain fog , depression and the likes.
Some days getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain, each step, every movement is a battle against exhaustion and pain. Fibromyalgia has taken my physical strength but it will never take my spirit, my resilience and my determination to thrive. "This year, you will be working in groups. Everyone will have a partner", professor Wells said and I groaned. " Everyone is allowed to pick a partner they will be comfortable with. You can do that now", she added. Everyone picked themselves in two and I was alone. No one is comfortable enough to choose me as their partner and that hurts.
"Lucas, do you have a partner?" Professor Wells asked and he shook his head. " Emma? No partner?"she asked me. "I don't need a partner ,Professor. I can work alone", I said. " That is not allowed. Lucas, Emma you two should pair up",she ordered. " I don't want to be her partner",Lucas complained. "My decision is final", professor Wells said. " Scared much? Nerd boy? ", I asked Lucas and he rolled his eyes. " Scared of who? You? Stop playing", he replied. "Then why don't you want to be my partner if you are not scared?" I asked again.
" Because I don't like you. I don't want to be around you and I don't like the way people are afraid of you. You don't scare me ", he stated as he gave me a deep glare . " Your loss",I said. He looked away and focused on the professor. Who is this guy? Why does everything he says hurt me deeply? I stared at him, he looks nerdy. His black shirt hung closer to his slender body. His messy hair makes him a little cute with the frown on his face. "You know you can take a picture", he turned to me with a smirk on his face and I want to wipe it out. "I don't deal with ugly and rude boys", I said , disgust evident in my voice. "Take that back",he frowned.
"Oh now you are hurt? Sorry Mama's boy",I teased him and he looks like he is going to burst at any moment. "I hate you", he said. "The feeling is mutual", I replied. We shared a look of disgust for each other and pulled away. "Alright, see you next class", professor Wells said as her class ended. I picked up my bag and left for the library. I have no friends or anyone to talk to here. "Hi Anne", I said to the librarian. "Hi Emma, how are you? ", She replied with a bright smile. "Good please, the keys. I don't have the next class", I informed her and she handed me the keys to the inner room.
My aunt and the head teacher are twins so I have access to some special areas in this school. The inner room in the library has a bed, couch and a television. Whenever I don't have a class I come here to relax my nerves and prepare for the next class. I sat on the bed and groaned. "Because I don't like you. I don't want to be around you and I don't like the way people are afraid of you. You don't scare me", I remembered Lucas voice. Those words he said hurt me deeply. Am I a monster? I just don't want people to know my weakness else it will be used against me. Gosh!!! I hate him so much.
Today is his first day and he is getting under my skin", I grunted. I counted 1- 30 when I was starting to get stressed which is bad. I need to stay away from that boy but I can't he is my partner in calculus class. I will make sure he regrets talking to me in that manner and I won't show him I'm weak. I will show him why everyone respects me in this college, I promise. By the time I'm done , he won't like himself. Fast forward to lunch time.. I returned the keys to Anne and walked slowly to the school cafe. "Hi Emma",a girl who is known as Eva said with a big smile on her face.
The head teacher adores her and talks about her all the time. "Hi", I replied and she was surprised I answered her. "I really like you and I would love to be your friend", she asked shyly and I was surprised. She likes me and want to be my friend? This is a first. "That's nice, I accept to be your friend",I said with a sincere smile on my face. " Really? Oh thank you", she squealed like a child and gave me a hug. I groaned because she was literally crushing my bones. "I'm so so sorry, I'm just so excited", she smiled. Hey dad, I just made my first friend in nineteen years.
I'm getting tired, I have been standing for some minutes now. "I need to sit", I said. "You can come sit with me and my friends", she offered. " Are you sure? I don't want to impose", I said. "No it's fine. Let's go", she grabbed my hand and everyone was shocked to see if was holding someone. She stop at a table and the smile on my face disappeared when I saw Lucas laughing with two other guys. "Why is she here?" Lucas asked with a frown on his face.