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Chapter 7: Shattered Illusions

Alexia's POV

I stood there, frozen, as Denzel's words cut through me like a knife. Cheap. That's what he thought of me? The woman who raised him? I felt a stinging sensation in my eyes, but I refused to let the tears fall.

"How dare you," I whispered, my voice trembling, the surge of anger I felt rushed towards my own chest as I heaved up and down not wanting my voice to betray my emotions.

Denzel's expression softened, but his words remained unchanged. "Alexia, I didn't mean it like that. It's just...this isn't you. You're not this person." He reached closer, trying to place his arms around me.

I laughed, a bitter sound. "You don't know me, Denzel. You never have."

I sneered, instinctively avoiding his touch.

My body acting faster than my brain.

The bathroom seemed to shrink, the air thickening with tension. Denzel's eyes pleaded for understanding, a feeling I could not afford at the moment. I had messed things up, I had messed up our relationship as a family.

"Get out," I said, my voice cold and detached.

Denzel hesitated, before he turned and left the bathroom, leaving me shattered and exposed.

I slid down the wall, the cold tile a stark contrast to the warmth of our earlier intimacy. How could he say those things? Didn't he understand what I was willing to risk for him?

As I sat there, water dripping from the showerhead above, I realized that Denzel's words weren't the only thing that hurt. It was the truth behind them. Was I using sex to avoid the issues between us? Was I cheapening our relationship?

The questions swirled in my mind, making my head spin. I needed space, time to think.

With a newfound determination, I stood up, turned off the shower, and wrapped myself in a towel. I would face whatever came next, but on my own terms, it has been two days and I would only ruin our relationship the more if I continued avoiding the subject.

As I walked out of the bathroom, I saw Denzel standing in the hallway, his back against the wall, eyes fixed on the floor.

"Alexia," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

I passed by him without a word, shutting myself in my room.

The darkness closed in around me, but I welcomed it. For the first time, my mind drifted back to the night I had rescued him. To the words his mother uttered before fully handing him to me.

I wondered if I was breaking the promise by developing feelings and worse of all for someone who was meant to be under my protection.

I thought back to the pack's expectations, the whispers and judgments. Was our love strong enough to overcome all that?

How would it sound that I was having an affair with Denzel? A child i had watched undergo his entire puberty stage.

My mind raced with memories of Denzel's laughter, his smile, and his kindness. But also of his hesitation, his uncertainty.

We were both conflicted with emotions running Helter skelter. Who knows? I might be the only one over thinking everything.

I could feel the hairs on my arm stand as j detected someone's presence. Squinting my eyes and probbing further, I recognized thee shoes— thy belonged to Denzel it was his nineteenth birthday gift from me.

I sat up in my bed, bracing myself for when he would finally knock, but six minutes later and there was no sound yet.

Was he really just going to stand there, and not say anything?.

Eventually, his footsteps faded, and I knew he'd left.

The silence was deafening and I could hear it in all its loudness.

Springing out of bed, I placed back and forth my entire room, for once in my life, I wasn't conflicted about the packs affairs, for once I was not worried about the elders. But this time, I had my personal life to worry about and it felt new— wrong even.

I racked my mind for possible reasons on why Denzel had shown up in front of my door. I tried to come up with the questions he would possibly have.

I tried to make a conversation in my head.

But the answers I needed seemed far from me..

The time passed like a snail in labor, awfully slow and sucking out my life with it.

Suddenly, I stopped pacing and stared at the door and realized that I was dragging the entire issue if I kept on avoiding Denzel. It would only go about to prove that he was right and I was indeed trying to play smart.

My hands linger on the door knob of my door, muttering silent prayers before I finally pulled it open, and headed towards Denzel's room.

His door was slightly, and I pushed it open.

Denzel sat on his bed, staring at the floor.

"We need to talk," I demanded, my voice firm.

He looked up, eyes searching mine— for answers, answers that I didn't have, answers that I couldn't give.

"I know what you think of me," I began. "But you're wrong. I'm not cheap, Denzel. I'm scared,”

Denzel's expression changed, but he remained silent, not moving from the bed where he sat.

"Scared of losing you, scared that I failed your mom. Scared of what others think."

I took a deep breath, walking past him, towards the direction of the open window.

"But most of all, I'm scared of losing myself in you, losing the respect you have for me,”

I could feel his eyes follow my every step.

"Alexia," he whispered, his voice raspy as he called my name.

"Tell me," I demanded. “How do you view me?” I inquired, mustering the courage to look him in the eye.

The light from the room seeped into the room, casting a silver glow on the white walls.

The moon goddess must be there, watching our every conversation— she must be enjoying the games she's playing.

Denzel stood up, his face inches from mine.

"My respect for you hasn't change a bit Alexia but for now I want," he said, his voice filled with conviction. "I want us."

My heart skipped a beat, then it started beating rapidly against my rib cage.

"Even if it seems forbidden?" I asked.

“Fuck what the pack thinks about it. It's just between you and I,” he cursed, running a hand through his hair.

It took every ounce of self restraint in me to not reach out and play with his hair, like I always did when he was a child but this time is— different and the scenarios are changed.

“Let's just enjoy this moment,”

“And what about Jane?”

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