Mine to bear alone

Avaris’s POV

“I know I shouldn’t have asked you to come since you’re still recovering,” Prince Theo said softly, his voice dropping to a gentler tone as he removed his coat. “I’m sorry, Avaris.”

He draped the coat around my shoulders, and I instinctively folded my arms around myself. A flicker of surprise crossed my face, and I offered him a faint smile. “Thank you, Your Grace,” I murmured, my voice trembling. “But I wanted to be here.”

Only hours ago, I had lost consciousness in the midst of noble people from Alkavine’s most powerful families. Despite the embarrassment, Prince Theo had lifted me from the hall, worry etched into his face.

Instead of taking me to a guest room, he had brought me to the garden near his quarters. I was familiar with the garden—it was the last place I had visited with my brother before his death. It was the last and the first place we spoke. How frightening it is, I thought, how quickly everything changes.

Prince Theo smiled back at me, his face brightening. For a moment, I considered telling him about my encounter with Dyvian.

However, how could I explain that I had encountered a demon on the verge of death and that I had wished for the burning of Count Windsor's family and my own ancestral home?

The thought alone made me shudder. Yet I felt no regret. I would never regret ridding myself of everything.

“Are you alright?” Prince Theo’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. “I know you’re trying to adjust to everything. I’m sorting things out for you… And remember, you’re not to blame anyone anymore. Count Windsor and his family are already gone.”

Despite the coolness of the evening, a bead of sweat traced down my brow. I glanced at him, unsure how to respond. I was grateful; even in my family’s absence, he was here, just as he had been when they were alive.

He likely wondered why my family’s deaths pained me so deeply, considering they had treated me as the black sheep of the family.

I also pondered why the loss was so sudden and severe. But they were still family. It was heartbreaking to learn that an outsider, a friend they had trusted more than their own family, had betrayed them.

Though I’d long resented them, I never imagined they would be gone so soon.

I didn’t know how long we sat there in the garden, in the quiet between us, before I finally spoke, “Your Grace, I know you are curious about my next move. I have thought about it and I have made my decision. I would sell everything owned by my Father, get rid of things that are no longer important, I’m planning to start over in another place.”

Prince Theo’s smile faded slightly as he listened. “So, you’ve made up your mind, then?” There was a trace of hesitation in his voice as he asked.

I nodded firmly, though part of me knew how he would respond.

“You don’t have to leave so soon, Avaris,” he said, searching my expression. “Stay a while longer. Give yourself time to recover fully. You’ve been through so much, there’s no need to rush away.”

I looked down and shook my head. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, Your Grace. Truly. But I’ve already received more than enough kindness from you. I don’t want to be a burden any longer.”

Prince Theo’s brow furrowed slightly. “Your brother and I were close friends,” he insisted gently. “He would have wanted me to look after you. Staying here for a while isn’t a burden to me, Avaris. Besides, you need a safe place to regain your strength.”

The mention of my brother stirred something complicated within me. I nearly laughed bitterly, but I held back. My brother may have been Theo’s friend, but we had barely been family. I never truly fit in and was always the odd one out, left on my own.

But I kept those thoughts to myself, merely offering a polite smile as I shook my head. “Thank you, Your Grace, but I must go. I need to figure things out on my own.”

Prince Theo quietly exhaled when he realized that I could not be persuaded. “Very well,” he said at last. “But before you go… would you be willing to accompany me tomorrow to greet the envoys from the capital? They’ve been sent by the emperor, and it’s a formality, but it would mean a lot to have you by my side.”

It was hard to refuse him, so I agreed, nodding once. “Of course, Your Grace. I’ll be there.”

He gave me a grateful smile, as if he was relieved. However, as he extended his hand to rest a comforting hand on my shoulder, a sudden, sharp pain pierced my chest. With every heartbeat, the pain seemed to pulse, causing my breath to catch and my vision to falter.

“Avaris?” Prince Theo’s voice held a note of alarm. “Are you alright?”

I managed a weak nod, swallowing hard to push the pain down. I lied and said, "I am fine," even though my heart was still aching. I had no idea where this pain was coming from, or why it was happening now. But the image of Dyvian’s piercing crimson eyes flashed in my mind, and a shiver crept down my spine.

The demon’s warning had been clear: I would continue to grow weaker if I didn’t stay close to him.

Is the consequences of our bonded fates starting to surface just like he said?

But how could I explain that to Theo? How could I tell him that a demon’s power, or lack of it, was somehow tied to my life?

I still find it even difficult to believe it.

I forced myself to straighten, willing the pain to subside as I managed a smile. “It’s nothing, Your Grace. Just… fatigue, I suppose.”

Theo didn’t look convinced, his gaze dark with worry. But he let it go, nodding slowly. "All right," he said, but his gaze remained fixed on me, probing. “But if anything changes… please, let me know.”

I nodded, yet I knew that, for both our sakes, I had to keep this to myself. Whatever this curse was, it was mine to bear alone.