Chapter 4

Kaelen's POV

The cafeteria is louder than I expected. The chatter, the clinking of plates, the scraping of chairs against the floor— it's a mixture of chaos that I don't feel like dealing with. I sit at a corner table, as far away from everyone else as possible so I can eat in peace. But my eyes, for reasons I can't explain, keep finding their way back to him.

Jordan.

I see him moving around the cafeteria, smiling at people like he is everyone's best friend. His work shirt is a little too big for my liking, his sleeves rolled up to show the faint muscles of his arms, and his brown curls fall just right over his forehead. He is not spectacularly handsome— at least, not in the way I'm used to, but there’s something about the way he carries himself that gets under my skin. Like he’s too damn content with this middle-class life of his. Too happy.

I can't help but watch him serve the other students. He doesn’t even seem to care that they look at him like he’s the one doing them a favor. He has got this stupid smile on his face, like his life is perfect. His clothes are simple, obviously second-hand, but he still looks like he doesn’t mind it. He doesn't seem to care that he's just another guy in a cafeteria. And that’s what really gets to me.

I don’t know if I could ever be that carefree. To just accept simplicity with that kind of ease, to smile at people who don't matter and make the best of everything. I wish I could do that. I want to be that way, at least for a moment. But I’ve been groomed for something else—something more demanding and structured. My life has never had room for the simplicity that Jordan wears so proudly.

It pisses me off. And yet... I can't seem to stop looking at him.

I take a bite of my bagel, pushing the irritation down. But the more I try to focus on my meal, the more my gaze keeps slipping over to him. His laughter, the easy way he talks to everyone so easily... It makes me want to scream and hit something. It makes me feel like something is missing in my life.

Not that I would ever tell anyone that. It’s pathetic. He’s just some guy working a job, living a life that’s far beneath mine. So why does it bother me so much?

★★★

It’s been a week since Jordan and I really spoke. A week of cold silences and awkward moments where I barely acknowledge him, and he seems to return the favor. We don’t get along. That much is obvious. He’s still the same naive, smiley kid, and I’m still the same entitled asshole. But something has shifted. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I can feel it in the air when I walk into the dorm room.

When I get back from class later that evening, the door to our room is cracked open. I don’t think much of it at first. I figure it’s just Jordan doing whatever it is he does in his spare time. But as I walk closer, I hear the soft strumming of a guitar.

I pause in the hallway and listen. The notes are clean and perfectly pitched. It’s not just the sound of someone strumming aimlessly. He is playing something melodic and soothing, a tune that feels familiar, like it's just for the sake of pleasure.

My chest tightens and for the first time in days, I feel something warm spread across my heart. It’s like a fire starting small, flickering into life. His voice joins soon after, smooth and rich. His singing is effortless, the way it rises and falls with the rhythm of the song. It’s beautiful.

I can’t stop listening, even though I’m standing outside the door like some kind of creep. I’m not sure why I’m lingering, why I can’t just walk in and shut it down. Maybe it’s because I’ve never heard him like this before—completely uninhibited and at ease. He’s not smiling, not trying to impress anyone. He’s just… singing.

I hate myself for feeling this warmth in my chest. I hate that he can do something so simple, something so raw, and make it sound like it’s the most important thing in the world. The fact that I’m jealous doesn’t make it any easier. And then, he suddenly stops. The music fades, and a cold silence rushes in like a sudden storm.

"Don’t stop on my account," I say but my voice sounds strange.

"Kaelen!" His voice is low and laced with surprise. It’s the first time he has spoken my name in a while, and it feels... different. Polite, but his gaze seems a little cautious.

I don’t know what I’m doing, why I’m even here, but there’s something in the way he is staring at me now, the uncertainty in his eyes that gets me going on.

"I didn’t mean to interrupt you."

For a long moment, he doesn’t speak. He just stares at me, like he is trying to figure out what’s going on in my head. Finally, he does but it’s not what I was expecting.

"You… liked it?" he asks, his tone guarded, but there’s a hint of curiosity too.

"Yeah," I admit. The words feel like a betrayal, but they’re honest. "It was good. You’re good."

Jordan doesn’t answer immediately. His gaze flicks to his guitar, then back to me, as though he is not sure of what to make of this interaction. It’s the first time we’ve really talked without the usual tension and bickering.

"I didn’t know you could play," I add, stepping into the room fully. "You don't seem the type.”

He shrugs, "I just something I do when I need to clear my head."

I nod. The honesty in his voice throws me off, and for the first time in days, I realize that there’s more to him than I give him credit for. I don’t know why, but I find myself wanting to know more.

The silence stretches between us, but it feels less uncomfortable than it did before. For the first time since we became roommates, I feel like we have crossed some invisible line. Even though it feels small, it feels like the start of something I hadn’t expected.

I clear my throat, "I guess... if you’re done, we could figure out something to eat."

He looks at me, a flicker of surprise crossing his face. Instead of the usual sarcasm, he simply nods. "Yeah, sure. Let’s do that."

For the first time, we walk out of the room together, like two people who can actually coexist, despite our rocky start.