CHAPTER 6

Kaelen's POV

I hate kissing. My whole life I have tried to avoid it in every way possible from the moment I moved from not enjoying it to completely hating. Yet it comes so naturally with Jordan. His lips draw me in and upon contact with mine, a marvelous feeling is struck right into my core, transgressing everything I have believed.

I can't describe this feeling. His lips fit perfectly into mine, so soft... so timid. He drives his tongue between them gently as if seeking permission. The tip of his tongue makes contact with mine and a sudden thrill rises up my body. I want more. My hand finds rest at the nape of his neck and I lean closer, driving my tongue fully into his mouth.

His breath hitches, spraying my face with a warmth that rouses every part of me. Suddenly, I become aware of the intoxicating scent of his body perfume, the softness of his skin and lips... his soft moan in response to my kiss above all, drives me on edge, sending chilling thrills through my bloodstream. My hand instinctively tugs on his locks as an ache awakens between my legs. A need I haven't felt in so long, especially not from someone I needed to hate.

Suddenly I'm driven by an urge I can't fight. I push him against the car seat and hold him down with a hand. His brown orbs lock on mine with a quiet intensity as I lean closer. I don't know what arouses me more. His beauty which— no boy should be that beautiful, or his submissiveness. As I stare at his partly open mouth, I let myself wonder how that sweet soft mouth would feel around my member. The thought alone is enough to push my hardness against the seams of my pants.

I claim him thirstily, my mouth leaving his lips, brushing over his chest above his shirt. A part of me is tempted to rip it out of my way but just as the thought settles in my head, his hand comes into contact with my skin. I freeze in place. He tugs on my shirt and I look up sharply, trying to control my breath.

"Too fast?" he asks, a smile tugging on his lips— that perfect smile that reminds me of the reasons I want to hate him.

I pull away quickly and settle back in my seat without a word. My heart is racing, a thousands beats per second, but I refuse to give in to the urge to turn to his gaze on me. How the fuck did I lose control like that? I don't do that. I don't get sucked into some stupid feelings especially not about a boy.

"Kaelen, is everything okay? Why did you stop?"

"We should head back," I respond curtly and start the car without another word.

I would never drive in a storm under any other circumstances but this one calls for it. If I stay around him much longer, I will do something I'm probably going to regret or love too much and hurt him.

And why am I even hesitant about hurting him?

I drive in silence, completely ignoring his constant gaze on me and eventually, he retreats into his seat and turns his gaze outside. I steal quick glances at him at intervals. With his face turned away from me, I wonder what he is thinking about. His innocence in that silence is as suffocating as it is drawing. I can't deny that the short moment with him was the best I have experienced in a long time but just as well, I can't let it happen. Not again, not ever.

We get back to campus within a few minutes. The storm has eased but the drizzle is enough to drench us even if we decide to make a run for it from the garage to our dorm. The thought of being in that car with him much longer however, is not so appealing. Why did it just have to rain today? I am finding every reason to hate this place more and more.

A minute later, I make a dash down the hallway toward our room without stopping.

"Kaelen, wait!" Jordan calls out just as I am about to take a turn. "We need to talk about this. You can't just run away and pretend that it didn't happen!"

"We are not going to talk about anything, Jordan!" I turn around sharply, raising my tone an octave. "And even if we were, do you think I would talk about something like that in the hallway?"

I watch as his face falls in disappointment. It strikes a chord inside me, driving some guilt into my head but I force past it.

"So, what now? You are just going to turn back into the guy you were before tonight?" he challenges.

"That guy is who I am, bike boy!" I spit, pushing against his chest with a pointer finger.

He scoffs, "Why am I not surprised?"

"Kaelen!" A female voice calls out down the hallway before I respond and put him back in his lane. I look up sharply, a hint of recognition ringing inside my head.

"Elise?" I ask, not from uncertainty but from surprise as the girl rushes forward and falls into my arms. "What are you doing here?" I ask into her neck, with a mixture of confusion and shock.

"I missed you! Why else?" she asks as she leans back, staring into my face with a full smile. "Is it so bad that I wanted to surprise my fiance?"

"Fiance?" Jordan's voice echoes into my consciousness.

I turn to him slowly, unsure of what to say to him or to Elise. Elise's hands are still in mine but I'm not sure whether to feel good or bad about that.

"Kae, you didn't tell anyone that we are engaged?" Elise asks, her face still gleaming with pride— just like it always did in my presence since highschool, freshman year. "That is so unfair of you."

"Elise, come on. It's only been a week," I dismiss lightly and try to shift her focus to Jordan, who stands awkwardly a step away. "This is Jordan, he is my roommate."

"Oh, nice to meet you, Jordan," she offers her hand warmly but he takes it stiffly.

"Pleasure, Kaelen's fiancee," he states, his eyes etched into my skin. There is that annoying smirk he always wears whenever he wants to piss me off but this time, instead of making me angry, it makes me uncomfortable.

"Elise, could you give us a moment please?" I ask as I open our room for her. Once she is inside, I pull it closed and turn back to Jordan, my frustration evident in the way I hiss out a breath. "If you dare to as much as mention anything about tonight to her or to anyone else, I promise you I'm going to make your life a living hell!" I warn coldly, my breath hot on his face. "Tonight never happened! Are we clear?"

His eyes transform from the soft, warm, and kind brown to a looming hatred, almost like the first day we met. Even in that position, it takes everything inside me not to bridge the remaining inches between us and kiss him again. I fight it. I fight it hard because I can't just let this feeling— the feeling I have fought for so long to sabotage my progress no matter how bad I want it to take root.

"Are we clear?" I demand again.

"Crystal!" he exhales and swallows hard.

"Good!" I take a step back and head inside, leaving him standing in the hallway in a state I can't really describe with words.

A minute passes, then another. Before I realize it, an hour follows, and another without Jordan walking in. Soon, I stop counting and my anxiety kicks in. Where is he?

"Kae?" Elise's voice permeates through my thoughts. I meet her gaze. "Where are you? Come back to me?" she chuckles.

"I'm right here with you."

"Yeah, but your thoughts are somewhere else. What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing," I shake my head. "Let's go to sleep."