Chapter 1

Lydia’s P.O.V

Some instances in life change you forever.

For me, that moment became a life or death situation. I was able to get one last look at Roy’s face as the bullet left his gun. He didn’t want this. He hadn’t wanted any of this. But we had forced him into this situation. How much can a person be pushed until he bursts. How much anxiety, how much humiliation can lead a person to the very edge that the only way out is to take a life?  Trust me; I hadn’t wanted to find the answer…not like this. I didn’t see my life flash before my eyes; but I saw my brother’s face. Stephen and Nathan would be sad. My mother would be devastated.

And my dad? He would rip the world apart. If only I hadn’t supported my best friends who bullied Roy and countless others like him. If only I had stopped them from being so mean. If only I had shown Roy and the others some kind of mental support to let them know I wasn’t a part of this. If only…

It's funny how we think of consequences only when we face them and not when we do something wrong. The world is round and what goes around will eventually come around. I didn't know if I was going to come out of this alive, as I pushed my friend out of the way and took his hit, but if I survived, I would do better. Today, Lydia McKenzie will die forever. And if I survived, a new Lydia will be born; someone who will never again stand back and watch as another life was lost to the teenage dramas of high school and all the burdens that came with it.

A light tap on my shoulder woke me up from a deep slumber. I didn’t know when I had fallen asleep but thankfully I wasn’t in any public transport. I looked to my right to see the car door wide open and my younger brother was peeping his head inside, trying to wake me up.

“Get up sleepy head, we’re here!” Nathan said excitedly, but he kept his voice hushed.

I nodded sleepily and rubbed at my eyes with the palms of my hand as I got out of the car slowly. I was moving away from my hometown in Kansas to a small town called Rosewater that bordered Colorado. I will be attending college here at Rosewater University so my brothers were here to drop me off and make sure I was well settled in. My parents would’ve been here too if work hadn’t held them back, and as much as I wanted to get away from their overprotective hold, I’m happy that my brothers are here to help me move in.

I looked up at the apartment building that we had stopped in front of. It was a small building, six apartments in total with the landlord living in one of them, but it was really nice and pretty and it was also located in a good neighborhood. The balcony of each of the apartments was decorated with several flowering plants and the building itself was a light yellow color, making it a perfectly picturesque view.

The only empty veranda was on the first floor, but I did plan on gardening since that’s one thing I could never give up. I liked making things grow, be it vegetables or flowers and I liked to cook, which was why there was an entire bag in the trunk of Stephen’s car that had herb seedlings for me to plant once I was settled in.

Stephen, my older brother, had dark brown hair and green eyes like our father while both Nathan and I had black hair and blue eyes from our mother. However, anyone could tell that we were siblings just by looking at us; actually, we looked more like triplets with our similar facial features and builds, even though Stephen was four years older than me and Nathan a year younger.

“You like it?” Stephen asked eagerly, shifting from one foot to the other. He had been the one to pick out the house on the internet and since this was my first time seeing it, I could understand his nervousness.

I nodded my head again, managing to form a very small smile which probably looked more like a grimace. But it was still enough for Stephen because the grin he returned was humongous and started pulling me with him inside the building, but not before unloading my bags from the trunk and carrying one with him upstairs. Nathan followed after, with the remaining bags, which weren’t a lot since I did plan on going shopping soon for new clothes.

My apartment was on the first floor, on the right side of the building. Stephen unlocked the door with the keys that the landlord had provided us with and we stepped inside, into a small living room. It might be very small compared to my parental home but it was big enough for me. I didn’t want anything huge or posh. I was here to study, not throw rowdy college parties.

Although Stephen did object to me not throwing parties, he understood the fact that I liked to keep to myself and he knew that I hated noisy areas, which is why this apartment was located a bit on the inside and not on any busy street. Not that there were that many busy streets in Rosewater, it was a pretty decent sized town and most of the students lived in the dorms on campus.

There was furniture already brought in and my brothers already decorated it for me beforehand a couple weeks ago, so all I brought with me were my clothes, pillows and comforters, my college books and the barest of essentials that I’d need for my everyday life.

I looked around the house first while my brothers stored my bags away and started organizing things. The living room was a pale yellow color with one big and a small couch. There was also a small wooden coffee table and a chest of drawers with a small indoor fern on top. There were two wooden doors, one of which led to a fairly large kitchen with an oven and a few utensils and a fridge already provided by the landlord.

The walls of the kitchen were a light shade of red and the fridge was a pretty cherry color. I moved to the next room, my bedroom, which was a fairly nice size too, with an en-suit bathroom. The bedroom was painted pink with large green flower like patterns. There was a king sized bed, which is one thing I can’t compromise on because I move around a lot in my sleep, a large closet and a dressing table with a large mirror. The bathroom had black tiles with a counter, sink and a small cupboard.

“It’s pretty,” I told my brothers once I came out of the room, who wore broad smiles on their faces, obviously proud of themselves for choosing the color and decorations right. They knew me pretty well, which wasn’t at all surprising because we were a tight unit.

“I’m glad you like it,” Stephen said. “Now let’s help you unpack so we can go have dinner and be on our way and out of your hair as soon as possible.”

I nodded and we got started on our task. Since we had already had lunch on our way, we weren’t as hungry. By the time we were done it was nearly six in the afternoon. So we headed out to a nearby grocery store and bought a whole month’s worth of groceries to stock up my new house and then we had dinner at a small diner across the street.

It was 7.49 pm when we got back and my brothers had a long drive back home so they got ready to leave. Nathan gave me a huge hug and a kiss on each cheek; he had tears in his eyes as we stood by the car, saying our goodbyes until we saw each other again in a couple months.

“Don’t cry kidzee, I’ll visit as much as I can and we can talk or facetime whenever you want too,” I told him as I returned his hug and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

“Yeah, but it won’t be the same as having you around all the time.” He spoke sadly and then climbed into the car to wait for Stephen after giving me one final hug.

Stephen was next and he engulfed me in a huge bear hug. Stephen was about 6’ 2” and had an athletic body with large muscles while Nathan was 5’11” with a lean build. I was 5’ 8” and was a bit on the skinny side so he easily engulfed me in his arms.

“Take care, love and if anything happens or you feel uneasy, you come right back, ok?” Stephen ordered, but the concern was clear in his eyes.

“Yes, I promise.” I told him, hugging him tightly before letting go.

“And don’t hesitate to use those awesome skills that I taught you, if necessary,” he joked but I knew he was dead serious. I nodded my head and he gave me a final kiss on the forehead and was off.

I waved them goodbye and even though my heart was breaking into pieces for having to leave them, to watch them go away, I didn’t show any emotion on my face. More like I couldn’t. Reason…I had brain injury, or brain damage if you like to say so.

This is the main reason I moved away from my home town, to get away from my past. A past I don’t think will ever stop haunting me.