Chapter Five: Jason’s Birthday Party

The physical wounds from yesterday have healed, but the emotional scars remain, fracturing both my wolf's heart and my own, perhaps beyond repair. Can I ever forgive Jason? And why should I? I struggle unsuccessfully to suppress the lingering affection I still feel for him.

As I entered Jason's house that night, the clamor of a lively party greeted me. With his parents away at a pack meeting, my anxiety spiked, and my heart hammered in my chest. I navigated through the sea of Enzo's friends, desperately searching for that familiar face of Ezra’s. He had entered the house before me.

My chest tightened as I heard the voice that my nightmares are made of. “Enzo’s voice”

"Well, well, well, look who decided to show up. The little runt herself." Enzo's voice oozed contempt, his blue eyes cold and calculating.

I squared my shoulders, determined not to show weakness. "What do you want, Enzo?"

He chuckled, leaning in close. "Just reminding you of your place, Esme. At the bottom of the pack."

Without warning, he poured a bowl of punch over my head, the icy liquid seeping into my clothes. Laughter erupted around us, slicing through the air like shards of glass.

Humiliation burned like fire, hot tears mixing with the cold punch. I clenched my fists, resisting the urge to strike back.

We all stood outside Jason's house in the backyard, the cool night air wrapped around me like a shroud. The muffled sounds of laughter and music seeped through the walls, a stark reminder of the world I felt excluded from. Enzo was continually glaring at me and Jason was absent from his own party. For a moment, I hesitated, my heart racing. What was the point of coming here if Jason was just going to ignore me?

“Esme! You made it!” Ezra’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. He pushed through the throng of party goers, his face lighting up at the sight of me, only to fade when he noticed my drenched clothes. “What happened?”

“Just a little welcome from Enzo,” I said with a forced smile, trying to downplay the moment.

Ezra’s jaw tightened. “That idiot. I swear if he doesn’t leave you alone tonight...”

“Ezra, please,” I interrupted, my voice low. “Just let it go. I’m here to see Jason, not to start a fight.”

“Alright, but if he pulls anything… Esme, I am aware of your crush you have had on Jason since you both were babies, couldn't you just let it go, he isn’t worth your time or love.” Sadness was etched upon my brother's face.

“I’ll handle it,” I assured him, though my voice trembled. The truth was, I wasn’t sure how I would handle anything. I just wanted to see Jason, to feel that flicker of hope that had been dimming ever since he started hanging out with Enzo and Brianna.

Ezra nodded but worry outlined his face. “Okay. Just remember, I’ll be right here if you need me.”

As my brother melted back into the crowd, I took a deep breath and stepped inside. The atmosphere was electric, laughter and music blending together, creating a noise that felt both welcoming and oppressive. I scanned the room, searching for Jason.

“Hey, look who decided to show up!” Brianna’s voice rang out, her bright laughter cutting through the noise. She was draped over Jason, her arms wrapped around him possessively. “Esme! You look… wet.”

I forced a smile, though it felt like a mask. “Thanks, Brianna. Thankfully you let me know, or I would never have never noticed.” I stated with sarcasm in my voice.

Brianna retorted “Shut Up Runt! No one wants you here!”

Jason’s gaze flickered towards me, and for a brief moment, our eyes locked. My heart fluttered. But then he turned back to Brianna, chuckling at something she said, and the flutter turned to lead in my stomach.

With a sigh, I turned to the punch bowl on the table in the house, pouring a cup in a futile attempt to distract myself. Just as I lifted it to my lips, I sensed a presence beside me.

“Are you really going to stand there and sip on that?” Enzo’s voice dripped with disdain from behind me. “You might as well just leave.”

I ignored him, focusing on the bright red liquid swirling in the cup.

Enzo wouldn’t just let me ignore him, he felt it his mission to let me know how much he hated and despised me.

“Seriously, Esme. You think anyone wants you here? You’re just a joke.”

I heard another set of familiar footsteps, as I braced yet another set of insults. It was none other than my not so true mate Jason.

“Enzo, enough,” Jason’s voice cut through the air, firm and unyielding.

I looked up, surprised. Jason was standing there, his brows furrowed, eyes locked on Enzo with an intensity I hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Just saying the truth,” Enzo shrugged, smirking. “You know she doesn’t belong here.”

“Neither do you if you keep talking like that,” Jason shot back, his tone sharp.

“Why do you care? She’s just a weak witch, remember?” Enzo laughed, but this time the sound was hollower, as if he realized he was losing ground.

There was an electric pause. Jason shifted, his eyes narrowing. “You don’t get to talk about her like that. She’s my friend.”

“Yeah, right. A friend you keep a secret about. How noble of you, Jason,” Enzo sneered, but Jason’s gaze didn’t falter. I was stunned. Maybe our being mates changed him?

I felt the weight of their words settle on my chest. Secret? What did he mean by that? Why was I all of a sudden once again his friend? Is it because he felt the mate bond?

“Leave her alone, Enzo,” Jason stepped forward, his voice a sharp edge. “You’re not laying a finger on her tonight.”

Enzo smirked, crossing his arms. “And why’s that, Jason? She’s nothing but a burden to the pack. Or are you just playing hero for fun?”

Jason’s voice shattered the tense silence like a bolt of lightning. “Enough! Esme is not a burden. You need to understand that.”

I swallowed hard, my heart racing. His words felt like a lifeline tossed into turbulent waters, yet doubt gnawed at me... was Jason pretending to be my friend just to humiliate me again?

Enzo rolled his eyes, a sneer twisting his lips. “Whatever, man. I don’t have time for your little rescue mission.” He turned on his heel, gesturing to his cronies. “Let’s bail, guys.” They followed, his laughter echoing behind him like a bitter ricochet.

As the crowd resumed their chatter, I felt the weight of Jason’s gaze on me. I turned, meeting his eyes, searching for the warmth I once knew.

“Esme,” he began, stepping closer, his voice low. “I...”

“Why didn’t you stand up for me before?” My words came out sharper than I intended, but I was tired of the pain, tired of pretending.

He hesitated, his expression shifting. “I didn’t want to draw attention to you. It’s complicated.”

“Complicated?” I echoed, stunned. “You mean keeping our bond a secret is complicated. I noticed you realized I am your mate?”

“I have suspected since we were infants you were my mate. Today just confirmed those suspicions, but no, I mean…” He ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his movements. “I didn’t want to make things worse for you.”

“Worse?” I felt my chest tighten. “You think I’m better off being the runt of the pack, the one everyone laughs at, including you?”

“It’s not that simple, Esme.” He lowered his voice, glancing around as if the shadows themselves were listening. “I can’t… I can’t just announce it. It would change everything for both of us.”

“Change everything?” I repeated, my heart pounding. “You mean your social status? The way everyone sees you. Because that’s all it feels like to me. I’m just some dirty little secret you keep hidden away.”

“No! That’s not it!” Jason’s voice rose, his frustration boiling over. “I care about you. I just… I can’t risk everything right now. Not when your pack is already on edge with you.”

“On edge about what? Me? You think I’m the one making your life complicated?”

He stepped closer, his eyes pleading. “Esme, please. You don't understand. If your pack found out…”

“If they found out what? That I’m your mate? That I'm both a wolf and a witch? That I'm not good enough for you? Have you forgotten your mother is a luna of the healer pack and also a wolf and a witch?” My voice shook with anger and pain.

Standing there pacing about as we quarreled, we had moved our conversation to his private room. Jason continued to try to argue his case.

“I don't think that!” he snapped, the intensity in his gaze making my breath catch. “But you have to see it from my perspective. It’s not just about us anymore, like when we were kids. It’s about my pack, your pack, and you.”

“Then what is it about?” I demanded, heartbreak with every word. “Because I thought we were friends. I thought you cared.”

“I do care!” he exclaimed, his voice dropping to a whisper. “But I have responsibilities. I must consider the pack and my future.”

“So, I’m just a liability?” A tear slipped down my cheek, and I angrily wiped it away. “I can’t believe you’d say that.”

“Esme, no! You’re not a liability. You mean everything to me. You have to believe that.”

“Do I? Because it sure doesn’t feel that way.”

He stepped forward, his hands gripping my arms gently. “Please, just give me time. I promise I’ll figure this out. I want to protect you.”

“Protect me?” I scoffed, pulling away. “Is that what you call it? Hiding me away like I’m some dirty little secret? Like I don’t even deserve to stand by your side?”

“It’s not like that!” Jason’s voice rose again, drawing attention from nearby party goers. Thus, Jason slammed the door shut, keeping prying eyes out.

I glared at him, my heart pounding with a mix of anger and sorrow. “Then how is it, Jason? How is it that you can stand there, look me in the eye, and tell me you care while simultaneously shoving me into the shadows?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it again, struggling for words. “I’m trying to navigate everything. There are things you don’t understand. The pack… they wouldn’t accept you.”

“Then let them hate me! I’m tired of living in fear of their opinions!”

“Esme, please…” His voice softened, and I could see the anguish in his eyes. “You have to trust me. I’m doing this to keep you safe.”

“Safe from what? From the truth? From whom I really am?” I shook my head, my heart shattering. “You don’t get to decide that for me.”

“I know,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “But I need time. I need to find a way to make this right.”

“Right for whom?” I spat, my anger boiling over. “For you? For the pack? Because it’s not right for me. It’s not right to keep our bond a secret!”

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose, frustration radiating off him. “I didn’t mean for it to come to this. I thought… I thought we could keep it quiet until the right moment. But now it’s all exploded.”

“Exploded? You mean like you and Brianna? Is that the ‘right moment’ you were waiting for?” I felt bile rise in my throat.

His eyes widened, and he looked pained. “Brianna is just a distraction. I don’t care about her like I care about you.”

“But she’s the one you’re with,” I said, my voice breaking. “I’m just the ghost haunting the corners of your life, aren’t I?”

“No! Esme, please don’t say that.”

“Why not? Because it’s true?” I turned away from him, my heart heavy with despair.

“Esme, listen to me,” he said, his voice urgent as he reached for me again. “I’m trying to protect our bond. I don’t want to put you in danger.”

“Danger from what? Your own pack, the Peaceful Healing pack? Your own family?” I felt my heart crack open, the flood of hurt spilling out. “You’re not protecting me. You’re burying me alive.”

He stepped back, his expression shifting from determination to despair. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to express why.”

“Neither do I,” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. “But I can’t keep pretending this is okay. I can’t keep pretending that you care when all you’re doing is hiding.”

“I do care,” he insisted, but the desperation in his voice felt hollow.

“No, you don’t,” I whispered. “You care about what everyone else thinks more than you care about me.”

The silence between us felt like a vast, suffocating chasm. Tears threatened to break free, but I swallowed them down, determined not to let him see how deeply he was hurting me.

“Why don’t you just reject me, Jason? Since you're too much of a coward to stand by me in the open!” My voice wavered despite my best efforts as I glared at him, fists clenched tightly at my side.

Jason reached for my arm, desperation in his eyes. “I will not reject you! I love you, I always have!”

I jerked away from his touch, my heart twisting painfully. “Kissing Briana? That’s a peculiar way to show love!” I spat, turning my back on him. “I need to go,” I said finally, my voice managing to remain steady amid the storm raging inside of me.

“Esme, wait!” Jason's hand reached for my arm once again, but I jerked away, his touch burning like fire.