Chapter 11

“Here you go, eat it all.” He told me and placed a bowl of soup in front of me.

I didn’t know whether it was my pregnancy or the fact that I couldn’t cook for shit so only ordered food, but I wasted no time and ate the soup as my life depended on it. Lucio had a proud father-like smile on his face and quietly observed me while I was eating, and I couldn’t help but wonder. “Do you treat all the girls like this?”

Lucio let out an offended chuckle and shook his head. “I don’t even treat my own daughters like this, so I would appreciate it if you told me what’s going on.”

“Serena, I know you won’t accept a million-dollar check even if I gave you one, but I’m begging you to stop what you’re doing because look at you child. I’ll find you another job, I’ll take care of you as one of my own.”

I had almost dropped my spoon and stopped eating for a second. Bad would’ve been an understatement for how I felt about my actions. Lucio was aware that I had no parents, so that was most likely the reason why he paid the most attention to me, which was not crazy. He must’ve thought I was exhausted while that wasn’t the only case. I did not need anyone to take care of me, I had always been on my own and even though I sometimes got jealous whenever I saw others with their family, I was completely fine on my own.

“I appreciate you, I respect you a lot...but I don’t need your help,” I told him, on the verge of tears. At times it sounded so tempting to just accept his offer and let him write me a check but I couldn’t. I wasn’t that type of person and I didn’t want to be. The business the Lamberti’s ran had always remained in the back of my head and one way or another I did not want to get involved even if it was as much as accepting a check.

“Serena...” Lucio almost begged and had a guilty look on his face. “Serena, I’m so sorry for everything you have to go through.” You don’t even know half of it.

I felt my eyes get watery and knew I was about to break down crying any second. Crying was not something foreign to me and I was not ashamed to say that I cried at least four times a week, whether it was over a movie, or bruising my finger, but this pregnancy only made it worse.

“Serena, is there any other reason why you’re so exhausted? Please tell me, you can tell me anything.” Lucio tried again, but this time I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore and broke down crying. Lucio had been the only one noticing how emotionally exhausted I was and it did something to me. I wanted to tell him the truth because he deserved it, but there was no point in telling him the truth if the issue at hand would’ve been dealt with anytime now.

When Lucio saw tears falling down my face, he immediately got up from the chair and walked over to wrap his arms around me. I felt warm and safe in his arms as if nothing bad could happen, but it already did. At times like these, I would randomly think about my parents and about how much easier life would be if they never gave me up if it wouldn’t have been Lucio comforting me but my father.

“It’s okay, cry all you want, it seems like you’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.” Lucio comforted me, and that was all it took for me to let it all out. I cried because I was upset, I cried because I felt guilty and I cried because I did not know what to do.

It felt like I was stuck no matter what I did and I didn’t know how to deal with it. If I kept the baby I would’ve been jobless because there was no way I could continue dancing, and If I were to have an abortion I would’ve probably still be jobless because besides it taking a toll on my body, someone like me would probably also have to deal with the recovery time and lots of regrets.

All of this because of one thing which could’ve easily been prevented. Many had always said their child was a blessing, but to me, it didn’t feel like one. I wanted it to be a blessing and I wanted to be a mom and take care of my baby, I wanted to have the perfect little family I had always dreamed of when I was younger and I wanted to tell Christian.

If I had the opportunity to make this work I would’ve.