Unwanted

Unwanted

We arrived at a location shortly as the sun was going down. I like this location; it had wildflowers growing in a field close by. Danny also said he saw signs of small animals. We would set up a trap in the river nearby and some in the woods. I hoped we would catch something; I was tired of eating fish. But it’s all we have managed to trap lately. I helped Katelynn set up camp as the men went out to set the traps. My sister pointed out that Jared did not go out to help the other men. He was sitting there staring off into the sky.

I called his name and asked him if he was okay. He said he was fine. My sister rolled her eyes at him and ignored it. I asked him if we had started the fire, and he quickly said, “NO.” I just let it go and went to make a fire. The kids were getting cold and needed to be warmed up. It may still be summer, but it got chilly at night in the mountains. Katelynn said we needed to talk after the kids were asleep. I knew what she wanted to discuss; she had mentioned it since we left. I could see it, too, but I did not want to. Jared had been refusing to help more and more. My brothers and Danny had been talking about it the other day. They did not realize I was by the water and could hear them. I had noticed, too, and kept telling myself he was tired. He was never the outdoor time of person; he had never been camping. We went once with my family, and he was miserable the whole time. He grew up in the city; he went to country clubs, not camping. He said he did not want to live like he was homeless. When we found out we were both werewolves, he blamed me. He told me I gave it to him. He was very mad and didn’t talk to me for 3 days. This was nothing new for me; he gave me the silent treatment every time he was angry at me. We discovered a few days later on the news that it was a gene we were born with. He never did apologize; he seemed to think he didn’t need to apologize. He asked how he was supposed to know it was a gene mutation.

I knew I was going to have to talk to him about this. I did not want my brothers to say something. They already didn’t like him, and I knew this would worsen it. I did not want any conflict within the group. I didn’t do well with conflict. I did not like it when men raised their voices. Jared knew this and would always raise his voice, so I would stop talking, and we would void a conflict. I always thought he did this to avoid our issues.

My brother Tyler returned to camp as I was starting the fire. He looked at Jarred and asked why I was starting the fire. I grabbed his arm and told him I wanted to warm the kids up. All he said was hmm, as he looked at Jarred. I then left them alone to go set up my camp. I wanted to get a tarp set up to keep the morning dew off us; I hated waking up wet. As I walked past Jarred, he said, “I need my clothes washed.” I asked him yesterday if he needed clothes washed, and he said no. Before I could respond, Tyler yelled at him to do it himself. I stepped back, knowing this was going to turn into an argument. Jarred yelled back at Tyler to stay out of it. Tyler told him he was sick and tired of how he treated me. I knew I should say something, but I was frozen in place. As Ryker walked into camp, Katelynn finally yelled at them to stop, asking what was happening. Tyler turned and said he was going to punch Jarred! Jarred took off for the woods; he didn’t even stop to help me with camp.

Katelynn came over and started helping me with my camp. She asked me if I was okay and rubbed her hand on my back. She knew my fears and that I had a hard time with men yelling; she also knew why. I was only 21, but I had gone through a lot with Katelynn growing up. Our father was drunk and very abusive towards our family. My siblings all protected me from his violence, but I remember his loud voice and the scream. My father was drinking the night he lost control of the car and hit a tree. My mother was killed in the accident, and my father had been sent to prison. We do not know if we got our gene from him or mom. I am sure if he had shifted to jail, the government would have killed him by now.

I finished my camp and said I would take a walk to calm down. Katelynn warned me not to go too far. I promised not to; I headed for the water to fill my container. I found Jarred sitting on a rock, watching the water. I sat beside him; I knew he would be upset about my brother. I asked him if he was okay. He snapped at me and said what do you think? You make me look like an idiot, and then your brother attacks me. If you had washed my clothes before I had to ask you, then we would not have been in a fight. I was confused. I asked you yesterday if you needed clothes washed, and you said no. He snapped at me again and said I should have just washed them. He said he didn’t understand why he had to put up with me. I do not do anything for him, and I am making him wait for marriage to have sex. He started yelling about pent-up frustration and how I am such a prude. We had only been together a year, and he had asked me to marry him right before we got sick. My sister thought he only asked to have sex with me. He asked me the night we got engaged, but I turned him down. He got mad and yelled at me, saying he was proving he loved me, but I was still trying to make him miserable. He didn’t understand why I needed a commitment to have sex, and When I tried to explain it, he shut me down and told me he didn’t want to hear any excuses.

I sat beside him, not saying anything; I had shut down. I knew at this point there was no reasoning with him. He would call me a bunch of names and put me down. Then, he would not talk to me for the next two days. I hated the silent treatment; it made me feel alone and isolated. Yet I told myself at least he was not yelling at me or calling me names. I was just getting up when I heard Ryker say, “Are you fucking kidding me.” I froze; this was not what I needed. Jarred was still mad from the fight with Tyler. Ryker started towards Jarred with his fist closed. Yelling, you dare talk to my sister that way. He pushed me behind him as he got in Jarred’s face; I was crying and freaking out at this point. Beginning Ryker not to fight Jarred, I knew he would hurt Jarred if he hit him. Jarred yelled at him to mind his business and stay out of our relationship. Danny showed up just in time to separate them.

Jarred walked off, mad and cussing. Ryker turned to me and Danny and yelled loud enough for Jarred to hear that he was about ready to leave Jarred behind. I walked back to camp crying and shaking. Danny was supporting me, and once I reached Katelynn and Aliza, I collapsed on the ground and started crying. Aliza and Katelynn comforted me as Ryker told Tyler and Chris what happened. Tyler kept saying I don’t like him, and we should leave him behind. I kept crying; I was crying cause I knew they were right; he was so mean to me and said such horrible things to me. Yet I loved him, and I had no idea why I loved him. He wasn’t always mean; he could be sweet to me. He made me feel special, but then he would turn mean. He told me he would love me if I acted right and did what he said. I tried to be everything he wanted me to be, but it was hard, and sometimes I let him down. Katelynn kept telling me it was not love, that love was unconditional.

I got up from the ground and told everyone I would go lie down. I had cried till I could not cry anymore. My eyes were puffy and swollen, and my head hurt. Beth came up to me and hugged me. She walked me to my camp, placing a cool, wet rag over my forehead. She held my hand and whispered to me. I may not be your mom, but I care about you and don’t like seeing you this way. Danny, Eric, and I don’t say anything, but how he treats you is not okay. I wipe away a lone tear as I tell her I love him. She smiles softly at me and says; I have been married for 35 years. Love should never hurt; you are meant to bring out the better side of each other. I asked her if Eric had ever spoken to her that way. She laughed and asked if he wanted to lose his balls. She hugged me and said to get some rest tomorrow, which would be better tomorrow.