Chapter 4

Friday morning, the second week, Mina came for me, not him as he had already gotten used to. He had informed me that they had all already talked and that Delilah had bought tickets for tonight's movie. I didn't say anything to him. I just nodded, disappointed that he wasn't here, right now. I had gotten used to him coming, hanging around his house, picking on me one by one, and commenting on photos or anything he could find of me or mine. In the evening, however, he took me home. Silent, I guess he was thinking, maybe slightly agitated. I wanted to ask him several times if he was okay.

"Dad showed up at the door this morning, he began to explain. That's why I sent Mina. He had news. Sarah is pregnant.

I know how severe Apollo is and how much Hades hates Sarah. Not because the woman herself is a vixen but because she played an active role in his parents' separation. I put my hand over his. I don't know what to do and how to reassure him that everything will be fine, but I know what he's thinking. Now he's not going to kick her out of the family for no reason. I take his hand and both of my own and kiss his mounts. He's bruised. I don't say anything, I kiss his wounds.

"Everything will be fine," I whisper to them. "You'll see. At least you don't have to see them every day."

"But more often for sure," he answers and I know for sure he's starting to relax, because he intertwines his fingers with mine and pulls my hand closer to him.

"If it annoys you too much, if I come too often, you can always come over to my place. So you don't have to stay there."

I don't know what to say either. He could go to Delilah's. That's what I should have told him. Spend time with his girlfriend.

"Thank you," he whispers and I know he's sincere. "There's a bag behind your seat," he points to me. "Please take it out and ask, and I'll listen. It's yours," he continues. "For tonight. I thought you'd look good in them."

"I told you not to buy me things anymore."

I told him. Several times. He's made a habit of it in the last two weeks.

"And I told you to please me. Please, ask."

I give in to him, as always. I look, curious, in the bag. I see a black material, probably a dress. I see a white box. I recognize the name of the store, and I already know what's there—lingerie. He's made a habit of this. Then I find something else—a blue velvet box. I look at him.

"Do you like it? Ask me before I open it. It's like mine. Look at the clasp."

I untie it. It's a silver chain for the base of my neck, like his, but with thinner, more delicate links. As he tells me, I look at the clasp. I feel like there's something written on it, but I don't understand what. I look again, more carefully, more in the light. Hades. His name was inscribed there in small, golden letters.

"The same, see?"" He hands me his chain and looks for a clasp.

I look. I move closer. Kassie. Kassandra never told me about the right ones. I don't know what to do with this information. I put the chain around my neck and told him that I liked him first because I could see him waiting for an answer. Any kind of answer. Then because I really do, even though I'm confused and not sure why I've been wearing necklaces with each other's names on them and since when has he been doing this, especially. Since when? Oh!

"Since when is my name there?"

I have to ask him and I have to know. He takes off his seatbelt. Neither of us is in a hurry to get out. He's in front of my house.

"Always Kassie. I don't know how long you remember, but when we were little, you gave me a chain, like this. I was about ten. I broke it, you know, a while later, so I made another one. This one, you see. With your name on it."

I'm not ready to ask him why. He could give me any answer and all these options make me anxious. I don't know what exactly possessed me to lean over the gear shifter and kiss him. If it's a kiss. I just press my lips to his and quickly pull away.

"Thank you," I say awkwardly and leave.

Why doesn't the earth open up to swallow me now? I take a deep breath and decide to take what little dignity I have left to get to the shelter of my house. I'm a terrible friend. I know it and yet I don't feel guilty. I'm ecstatic and I don't hear him come out after me, maybe because he doesn't close the door. I don't see him, because I'm with his wives. When I do, I'm sure he'll want his necklace back or tell me not to do this again.

Of course. But he doesn't do that. He lifts my chin firmly and I'm sure he's angry. He looks angry. He moves his hand to my neck, he's gentle and attentive and maybe, just maybe, he's not angry. It's something else. When he kisses me, he does it carefully. It's soft and sweet, like I imagined my first kiss would be. I involuntarily move my hand to his chest. I drop my bag. I cling to him because I'm scared. I'm afraid I'm imagining it or my legs will turn to jelly. He slowly pulls away and caresses my cheek. He takes my hands off his chest and kisses them both.

"We really shouldn't be doing this here."

Here. Here? We shouldn't be doing this at all. Nowhere. Part of me knows this. The other part just nods obediently. I take the bag back in my hand. I hear him sigh. He kisses me on the cheek.

"See you tonight."

Don't tell me not to talk about it. I know it. And he knows it too. It's our secret, our sin, and we can't confess it. I close the door behind me before waiting for him to get to the car. I look through the viewfinder, though, and see him laughing at my gesture as he takes his seat and leaves. See you tonight. Tonight. I hear my mother in the kitchen but I go straight to my room. I look in the mirror and run my fingers over the chain. I hear footsteps on the stairs. I don't move.

"Don't you know how to greet?" My mother scolded me.

"Yeah, sorry." I just wanted to leave something here first.

He immediately spots my bag.

"You went shopping."

Not really.

"Yes. I bought something for tonight. We're going to the movies."

"Oh! Beautiful. Can I look?"

I approve. I turn to look,which is too. She takes out the dress, simple, black straight with a white collar. With pockets. Wednesday Addams style.

"She's pretty," he decides, and doesn't even take out the underwear box. "Do you eat at home?"

I shake my head. I would have time if I actually wanted to. We leave at seven and I could shower first, eat then just get dressed and… but I don't want that. I'm not hungry.

"No, I'll get something from town. Thank you. Is Dad home?"

She shook her head. I was sure.

"He's coming tonight. Tomorrow he's free, but he's going out with Daskov. He's playing pool. He let me know yesterday. I'll get back to writing then, he's coming back. If you need me..."

"Sure. Good luck, mom!"

"Have fun, wish me back."

Sure. I throw myself on the bed and wait. I look at the scale in the corner of the room. I hesitate. I get up and weigh myself. I remember the time when I used to do it every day. 42. Last time I was 44. I get off it and remember when I insisted on being 35. Or less. I get off and look at the clock. It's after five. I leave at seven. I go on tik tok and I want to waste time there. Half an hour. Then I go and start getting ready.